Nice idea - I like it. How about also removing all the stuff like tv etc in cells.

Prison shouldn't be 'fun'. Yeah, give them training if they want it - if they don't then tough.

Still - Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister. At least he won't hide behind a spin doctor.

Alan, Derby, England

Make half the prisoners become nocturnal! That way they can share beds with the day shift. Day shift use the beds at night and night shift use the beds during the day. Twice the amount of prisoners in one prison. Few more guards…job done.

Nick Ed, morecambe, england

Dennis, Giles, think you took this article a little too seriously

JR Shot, Dallas,

The problem is we need some income generated by the prison population. What we need is the modern equivilent of stiching mail bags. Therefore, as the taxpayers now own shares in so many companies, I feel that the prisons should be run as Call Centres - surely this would act as an effective deterant!

Jezza, Oxfordshire,

I watched a documentary recenty "Workingman's death," some interesting ideas for employment for the incarcerated there- sodium mining, ship breaking. Otherwise "A Clockwork Orange" style enforced daytime T.V. viewing.

Dom B, London,

On an interesting note, there is a God who created us and is all wise when it comes to matters of society, He reveals Himself to us in the Bible and not once did He ask us to create prisons, but had other means to punish the guilty - capital punishment being just one!

Jonathan , Maghearfelt, N.Ireland

I don't know what makes articles like this one funnier; the absurd but curious content, or the fact that I can't help but read them to myself in that intolerant, sarcastic and cavalier voice I hear on TV.

James , London,

too often innocent people are convicted ! No capital punishment unless it applies to the people whom are willing to participate in a wrongful conviction!

dennis baker, penticton bc, Canada

I believe that the majority of the British people would be happy to see capital punishment reinstated for a limited number of serious crimes... the only flaw is that you can't undo the sentence. The alternative should be LIFE with no chance of parole.

Andrew brown, derby, Uk

Instead of banging up young offenders at the expense of the taxpayer-detail them at home for 23hrs per day,monitored by bored pensioners with speaking CCTV in every room.The OAPs get extra cash, the parents get to pay the food etc + pay with loss of privacy for not educating their spawn.

mark, brussels (uk xpat), belgium

We already contribute billions to China and India through their ability to manufacture products and offer services cheaper. They may welcome management of UK prisoners as an outsourced service. They could even use them as a source of cheap labour and profit from their work as well as incarceration

Kevin, Dubai, UAE

We actually need people to pick crops. Lots of fit young men in prison......

David, Salisbury, UK

Here's a simple solution.

If you are between 16 and 25 and commit a certain category of crimes, you get sent to the army for a year.

Anyone watch that Bad Lads Army thing?

I'd like to see their little ego's and chips try to express themselves there.

James Cullup, Oxford,

I'm in favour of out-sourcing.
We should ask the Chinese to quote for detention of UK criminals. They could do it very cheaply and make good profits, wouldn't need much security - where is a caucasian in an orange boiler suit going in inland China. Not a new idea but still practical

John, Dursley,

Say it as it is Clarkson as ever!

Dave Farmer, Broxbourne, England

send them to Australia, loads of space there.

king, Tokyo, Japan

Absolutely 100% agree Jeremy. Couldn't agree more!

Rob Llewellyn, Aberstwyth,

Th ex-pat Australian is spot on. There are plenty of islands inhabited only by wildlife. Stick all the prisoners there, along with the liberal wildlife protection weirdos and let them work out who eats who.

M smith, Expat Bangkok, Thailand

All your ideas are impractical which leaves us with the only sensible carbon-neutral option: serious criminals should be executed and - here's the new bit - used to feed power stations. If you included very obese people this would add the double benefit of using unsightly people to save trees

Giles Chance, Hong Kong, China

I was under the impression that we were running down the forces to 1 general, a sergeant a cook and a canoeist so there must be lots of space at former military camps. Stick them in there in flood lit nissan huts with machine gun fitted watch towers and leave the doors open at night....

Neil Turner, Shanghai, PRC

In Singapore if someone commits a crime they receive severe punishment. Like caning and stiff custodial sentencing. As a result there's little crime. Sorry to state the bleeding obvious but isn't this how crime and punisment deterrents are supposed to work?

MM , Singapore, Singapore

I am nearly sure that there are still one or two uninhabited islands up in the north somewhere.
give them a flat pack domicile of some description and a biodegradable tent that lasts about 6 weeks, a couple of boxes of provisions and a few packets of seeds and tell them to get on with it.

Nickt, Expat Brisbane, Australia

I have the ultimate plan. And unlike your idea, of giving the public the option of either losing thier house or serving up thier right leg with some vegetables, mine will be win win for the public and the government.
My Idea is to bring back the colosseum!! Located on a remote island and fitted ...

Patrick Gibson, Adelaide, Australia

BRILLIANT! Absolutely brilliant.. and a very good idea too. I'm up for it!

Ryan Brailsford, Bolton, UK

Recapture the old British Empire and send all the bloody crims to do cross by foot the Great Salt Pan in Africa much like the one Clarkson, May, and Hammond drove through on Top Gear. Those who make it through won't want to repeat that journey again I'm sure and they shall be rewarded with a Beetle

Yair, Los Angeles, USA

How about we relocate everyone off the Isle of Wight and turn it into a prison Island. It would be like that film "No Escape" with Ray Liotta and just drop criminals in. If they 'make it' to the end of their sentence then bring them back to England. No respect for convicts and more for their victims

Marcus, London, England

Martin, Exeter - Brilliant idea about Siberia. Perhaps we could get some Anglo-Russian agreement on this. What wrong with the medieval concept of revenge?

william garrett, Harrow,

Building a prison need not be a 'Not in my backyard' subject.
Princetown, home of Dartmoor Prison, has plenty of open space around it and nowhere to run to.
The inhabitants of Princetown are nearly all prison officers or their families so they would hardly complain of extra job security.

GJB, Slough, Berkshire

"You really need to focus on potential threat to society, and not a Medieval desire for revenge" Andrew Milner, Japan.

Er, Andrew, what's wrong with revenge? It's so much cheaper and more effective than banging someone up for five minutes.
And more satisfying.

JJ Flash, Doha, Qatar,

Let the judge and jury decide guilty or innocent and if guilty let the victim decide the punishment. I suspect that would stop a lot of criminals getting a second chance...

P Pod, Ipswich,

Just brilliant. Nuff said!

Steve, Reading, England

Brilliant, Jeremy. I think you'd need to specify that these prisoners could only be accommodated in residences with a minimum of 6 bedrooms/5 bathrooms, and also a cage in the (minimum) 2 acre garden, or basement, in which to actually keep them. Please add this proposal to your election manifesto.

David, Guildford, UK

I think Germany sent some young thugs to Siberia for a stint. I fully agree witht his idea after hearing the way some of them talk about getting into a young offenders institute with the same kind of awe others talk about getting into oxbridge.

Kelly, uk,

Prison overcrowding is easily solved, remove the toilet and put and extra bed in each cell.

If they don't like it, don't go back!

martin, exeter,

How about some aversion therapy for criminals with the lash or cane..... used to be known as corporal punishment.... for minor offences rather than fines (ineffective), 14 days in jail (ineffective) or community service (ineffective).... no need to go whole hog to capital punishment just yet.

Kenneth, Cumnock, Scotland

There was a report of a trouble maker in N Ireland who had 'Served a Life Sentence' if he had served a life sentence he ought to be dead surely None can do a life sentence and walk the street afterwards, except of course under our legal system!
China cannot afford such luxury they shoot you!

bill, ely,

A brutal short-term solution. The chav bubble's grown because lack of jobs leads to lack of purpose in life. Service economies based on hamburgers and coffee deliver poverty, eventually. Destroy your manufacturing base, the primary driver to wealth creation, and the prisons fill up.

Richard Sinclair-Todd, Oxford, UK

The ankle bracelet has to be added to with a wrist bracelet,a chain long enough to make the wearer look like quasimodo and then see is he gets respect !

chris s , montagu, rsa

Whilst I have no comment in general about Mr Clarkson's ideas for the future of the penal system, I am extremely concerned by the fact he knows what "bingo wings" are. Not being connoisseurs of the game, we are clueless in this household!

M K Knowles, Birmingham, England

Dear Mr.Clarkson,
For your scheme to work you should have that AIG chap convicted in the first place. Which is highly unlikely IMHO.

Sergey Botvin, Moscow, Russia

You really need to focus on potential threat to society, and not a Medieval desire for revenge. When the potential for rehabilitation no longer exists, then incarcerate until no longer capable of committing crime. This mind-set would lead to adjustment of most sentences.

Andrew Milner, Karuizawa, Japan

I'll do it. Where do I sign? My kids were brought up thinking that the radiator was their best friend.

I can also offer this same service to anyone who annoys me.

If I can tame the Children in this way, then a Hoodie won't be much of a challenge.
My cooking is so abysmal, punishment not needed.

Carrie, London,

I Agree. Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister!

Rokola, Chiang Mai, Thailand