Jeremy Clarkson is to blame for global warming and the possible destruction of life on earth, according to Ken Livingstone, the London mayor. Livingstone said areas of London threatened by flooding from melting polar ice were to be called Clarkson zones on a new London development plan “so people know who to blame when they’re flooded out of their home”.

Clarkson responded: “Hold on a minute: are we going to have not enough water in the southeast or too much? I wish these eco-nutters would make their minds up.”

The mayor is also encouraging motorists to follow his example and use a Toyota Prius, a hybrid petrol-electric car with moderately better fuel consumption than some other cars.

Livingstone has no licence and can’t drive.

Times Recommends

• Preening populism has put us off democracy
• In 2009 as in 1931, debts must be repaid
• Here’s where all the women get off