I've chosen to stay at home since my daughter was born five years ago. In that we've shared thousands of cuddles. She has been close to my heart physically as well as emotionally. And that bond, that security and continuity of care, cannot be replicated by a nursery. Would the money I could have made in the last five years have bought me, my husband or my daughter any greater happiness? Would it have benefitted society for me to outsource parenthood? I think not.

Margaret , Loughton, Essex

Children should never be left alone. Just the idea of them waking and getting no answer to a call,especially in a strange place. YOU have children YOU should be there for them,or another responsible adult. The NSPCC shows a heartrendering ad showing a child crying and no one coming....think on. Its worrying enough when they just in bed,they can get up to anything in a short time,never mind half an hour in an apartment alone. Its never worth the risk or guilt. Children need care.

Ann Baker, Plymouth, England

Those parents who say how well their children get on with their carers in Nurseries may pause to consider where those carers will be in their childrens' lives when their children are older. Anyone can work in an office but only you can be a mother/father to your child.

Jo, Bournemouth,

There's no point blaming the parents - As the article states, if people (both parents) didn't spend the great majority of their time at work, then the mortgage wouldn't get paid.

Marco, bhm, uk

One of the main reasons that the nurseries are filled is that people, both men and women want kids but for the wrong reasons. Women, alot of the time think that "if I have a child it will bring me and my husband closer together." WRONG, it puts more responsiblity on both the husband and the wife, especially the wife. Men want kids because they feel this need to leave a legacy, someone to carry on their name, or in some cases, to shut up their wives because the woman wants a child to be more fulfilled. Having a child is a full time responsiblity, they need to be fed, clothed, taught, loved, and watched over. They aren't pets that you feed once or twice a day and pet whenever you feel like it, they need attention. Nursaries, as alot of people have said are still businesses, that are only out to make a buck, with workers who are just there to put in their eight hours and go home. They aren't paid enough to care, that's their thought.

Audrey, Marietta, USA SC

its a free world but everybody should have the chance of a fair trial.i highly reccomend that somebody get the new book by adam bentley vines in lulu market place that overheard will be given to our kids in a months time.

olivia, east london, uk

Isn't it time that parents sorted out their priorities? To bring a child into the world is a responsibility - it should also mean that you want to do the best for that child - and even spend time with them! I want to ask all parents who put their babies into a nursery almost full time- what matters most to you? Being "fulfilled" in other ways-which means you prefer to spend you r time apart from them, such as at work- and having plenty of money to buy a bigger house/car/ more holidays,- or spending time nurturing your child and enjoyng the precious chldhood years?
If it's the former, then why did you have children?

Oldermummy, herts,

Nursery education will always be second best. Why? Because a job is just a job. If I work for, say, £10 an hour - I've no idea what a nursery worker gets, then I do about £10 worth of work. To me that means not much. I take plenty of time to look out of the window, talk nonsense, and generally not think too hard. A good mother, on the other hand, is a joy to watch as she points everything out to her child - to me just another dumb-arsed kid. How she wants him to learn, how she wants him to succeed, how she loves him. If I looked after him, paid £10 an hour or not, I'd still see him as just another dumb-arsed kid. Maybe I'm heartless. I don't think so. Blood is thicker than water. A universal view.

Reynard, Oxford,

Alan from London: sending your 7 month to nursery part-time, 2 days a week, is very different from the type of 8-6, 5 days a week nursery care which other 7 month-olds have to endure. At least in your case your wife is looking after your baby 3 days plus 2 half days a week. It has to be said, though, that the hormonal stress levels of apparently happy babies and toddlers in nursery care have been shown to be high, suggesting they do find the experience unsettling.

Will Duffay, London,

I had no illusions when Tony Blair got it. Increasing nursery provisions was one of his five main pledges. Nowhere among those five pledges was anything about retaining or increasing british industry hence providing decent jobs and pay. Where we are in Glasgow numerous excellent firms with large numbers of employees have closed down - ranging from electronics firms and computing etc as well as more traditional. I dont think there are many large employers left here !
As for the nursery thing I am very against it and have looked after my own children while pre-school although they go to the school nursery for half days at age 3. Subsidy should be for ANY type of care whether mother (No.1 !) relatives childminders or nurseries.

Jennifer Wilson, Glasgow, Scotland

The comments below suggest choice is what people want. Absolutely! The point is that the choice isn't there. The government is biased towards getting mothers into work and babies into nurseries, and their spending, tax and benefits system reflects this. The mother who gives up her job (and associated financial benefits) to look after her children gets no help or recognition whatsoever. And this is the most costly option! Why should she be penalised for doing what she thinks is best for her children, when those who choose nurseries are being encouraged? Families who choose to bring up their children in the traditional one earner family unit are punitively taxed, compared to two earner families, due to the loss of one personal tax allowance and lower tax bands. Tax reliefs which are available for those who choose to use nurseries are not available to those who do not .

Mary Bienfait, St Albans,

I wish Libby Purves would come and visit the nursery where we send our nearly-two year old.
The staff are not strangers. They are a small group of dedicated and caring women all of whom have years of experience with children. The baby unit where our daughter has been since she was 5 months old is a cosy, home-like environment. Even when there are as many as 8 children there, it exudes an atmosphere of calm.
We have seen our daughter develop into a delightful confident, caring toddler since starting at nursery.
Nurseries are different, as are children, so the best thing of all would be for genuine choice to be available to all. Running down nurseries in general does not help achieve this.

Katharine, York, UK

Our daughter of 7 months goes part time 2 days per week to a nursery. It is a blessing. She is well looked after, and it gives my wife back her sanity and sense of self. My daughter loves it, interacts easily with others and enjoys the time spent playing and laughing. Yesterday's artcile made clear that much of the demonisation of the past 2 weeks has been overdone and does not take account of the nuances of her report.

Let parents choose; they after all know their childrent better than most...

Alan, London, UK

I was a teacher for 28 years: I retired 4 years ago. I think we, as a nation, do not really like children. If we did, we'd let them be children! Take a class of 7-8 year olds on a trip to a local park/ nature reserve with staff who will take the "lesson" part for you. Then give them a break in the field. They are like puppies let lose from a tight leash. All they want to do is play! But play takes up room, land etc. So let's regulate it. You can play football here, tennis there and ubiquitous golf everywhere! We don't like children playing: they make a lot of noise. They're uncontrolled. They will start to bully. We do not trust them to sort it out themselves.

Labour played its part, pushed by the media.The media also has a heavy responsibility in this. No adult can talk to a child for fear of kidnap: mother/ carer is always hovering. Children grow up thinking the point of school is to get a good job and that every person is to be feared.The joy of learning anything is lost.

Carlyle Braden, Croydon, U.K.

I'd just like to say a 'here, here' to Libby Purves. having worked for years in childcare, and now with children of my own, I am hoorified by the fact that I have been punished by the government for wanting to look after my own children. I investigated going back to work and my options are either nannying with my own children - even part time means starting ang finishing outside the hours my children are currently awake (i.e. them NOT getting their 12 hour nighttime sleep), or working in a nursery or school for less money than the childcare would cost me. I have tried to start my own business, however the reward for that was not getting any financial help at all during my second child's first months, as I had not been taking a salary from the business.

Whilst I am happy not to take money from the government to stay at home, I resent my husband's high taxes, and our joint high stealth taxes, with little discernible benefit to us. Don't take my money, let me decide how to spend it

Tara Stanton, Sevenoaks, UK

I think if mothers want to stay at home they should be encouraged to do so. When I was young my mum stayed at home and it was nice to come home from school and have her waiting for me. I plan to stay at home when we have children. If you have children you have to make sacrifices - money isn't everything.

L, Cheshire,

Terrific article - spot on. And no, it's simply not true that 'family oriented' groups are 'bent on telling parents what they should or should not do' (Frederic). Of course, parents should be free to make up their own minds. In order to do this they need to have access to ALL the research. Some of it will be uncomfortable reading at times - but you are free to discount it of course - and if you find full time nursery works well for the moment - then that's for you to judge. However 3.5 years old may be rather too early to draw conclusions. And more experienced parents who have followed several children through to secondary school and beyond, often take a different view on things later in life. They realise how quickly precious childhood passes by - this isn't always clear in the fuzz and haze of the first few years. Talking about 'choice' , sadly many parents have little choice because of cost of basic family housing. Terrible.

Marie Lewis, Salisbury,

Of course, if the banking industry (or Government intervention, who knows, this one might have worked) had enforced older lending ratio's and prevented people from borrowing on more than say 2.75 times the larger salary plus 1 time the lower salary, it would have been simply impossible for house prices to rise so high. (A couple each earning £20k could only borrow £75k, rather than the roughly £140k they might borrow at present).

This would mean far less pressure for both parents to return to work as the relatively lower mortgage payments produced would be easier to cover out of one salary for a period of time.

Added bonuses would be that house prices would remain more easily within the reach of the beleagured first time buyer and cash not needed for mortgage repayments would be free to support the UK economy by being spent elsewhere. Maybe pepole would even invest in some Pension savings.

Bob, Reading,

My highest mark for your incisive comments to the child-care madness going on in your country, Ms Purves! But I find one aspect of the issue consistently lacking in the debate on the matter in Britan - the bad economics of it!

Hiding the true cost of the service with tax-financed subsidies is the worst you can do in a market economy! It distorts the exchange of price information between buyers and sellers which is crucial to achieving prosperity and a high level of employment.

In short, tax-subsidized childcare makes the general British population poorer and aggravates unemployment. Your government is lying to you when it claims the very opposite!

Bo C. Pettersson, Västerås, Sweden

My experience is differetn.
My eldest daughter has been attending full-time nursery eversince she turned 4 months old (she's now 3.5 y old). She has a great time there, she learns a lot, does a lot, socialises a lot, deals with other kids and adults. I do not recognise her in the recent reports that have made headlines. Quite the opposite.
These reports are the work of the "family-oriented" lobby which quite simply is bent on telling parents what they should or should not do.
We do not have to believe or even listen to them. Parents are free to make the decisions that affect the whole family. For us, full-time nursery education works very well for us all. So well that our youngest daughter has just started nursery full-time too.

Frederic, Luton,

A truly excellent article that sums up everything I now loathe about "new" labour.

MatG, london, uk

Spot on! Where has the government gone wrong? Answer : cold analysis and targets - no understanding of human and family instincts and requirements. The best "nannies" are either the mother/father/family or well qualified and caring people selected by parents if they can afford them. Definitely not the State. Gordon Brown (the father) should understand this and allow his tax system (credits?) to understand what is best for real people.

Gordon, Woking, Surrey, UK

I think all that is missing are enough targets. We need more and more targets and accountability, and benchmarks, and value for money, and inclusion, and cameras, and health and safety provision, and ...and...and more targets!

Bullseye, Birmingham, UK

I was sent to full time nursery at the then council run New Walk Nursery in Leicester at three and a half and had a horrible experience which coloured my atitude all of my schooling (and authority figures) from then on. There are a lot of quite nasty little children out there. For sensitive and intelligent children full time nursery is quite simply disastrous. We need more flexible working practices so that both parents can spend time raising and interacting with their small children. Full time Nurseries undermine our childrens ability to achieve their full potential.

Arnold Ward, Weybridge, Surrey, UK