Our instincts with babies are likely to be right in most cases because they evolved with us. We would not have an urge to pick up babies and cuddle them unless it had some value. Such instincts are sometimes wrong but usually right.

I think that childcare is not a medical problem and is not generally susceptible to a medical or paramedical 'solution' Apart from ensuring that a baby receives immunisations there is no need for medical or other expert intervention unless the baby is actually is ill.

Frank Upton, Solihull,

I got given 3 books about babies when I had my son 3 months ago. 2 were all about getting your baby into a strict routine . I found them depressing and difficult to follow as my baby wouldn't fit. They took away my confidence and stopped me enjoying my baby as I thought I was gettting everything wrong.

The 3rd book was a practical how to look after your baby book and its the only one I still use. It has useful step by step colour pictures on topics such as 'thow you change a nappy' , 'how to bath your baby', 'if your baby wont go to sleep try this', 'this is what poo should look like' It is a guide to things that I had never done before. Yes, they aren't difficult but if you have never done them its the sort of help you need rather than people banging on about routines that indicate if your baby isn't in bed by 7.00pm it will become a deliquent- but without providing the tools to achieve this.

Sarah Barker, Woking,

When I told my daughter that the problems she'd encountered potty training our grandson were nothing to worry about and she could relax about it, she was sceptical. Had she failed him, she wondered? However, a bit later, having seen a book in the library that backed up my view , she cheered up! Like most mums today, she feels the need for 'professional' approval of her actions at each new 'stage' in her child's development. No doubt, there are useful tomes out there for a bit of reasurance occasionally but too much such reading results in an angst-ridden view of a child's development as a series of ever-higher hurdles to be jumped. Do any books say "have a great time with your kids, you are a good mother"? Perhaps you're expected to wait until you're a grandparent before you can have a guilt-free, unashamedly joyful and riotous time with the little ones.

anne, bournemouth,

Well said Libby!. Your book helped me to get through when I was a young mother. It made me laugh and helped to lighten things up. it also helped me to realise that babies don't come with their own personal manual/handbook (or a return address for that matter!) and that the most important thing is to use commonsense and rely on your own instincts. After all motherhood is hardly a recent institution, and most if not all of us do have some inherent genetic programming to help us get through it relatively successfully.

Ann, Nottingham, UK

This article is superb, it's about time someone said this in print. Mothers these days have fewer choices and less help than ever, or that is how it often feels.

Kate, London,

As a society today we have lost all concept of how to look after babies and young children. Trusting our instincts would go much further.

Is it instinctively right to leave a baby to sleep in a cot all by itself all night? Should you let a young child scream in a playpen? Should you deny your child food because it's not a convient moment for you? Does this feel right?

Any why does this only concern mothers? What about fathers too? Oughtn't the language be changed from mothers to parents?

Richard, Brussels, Belgium

Great article. A relative has accused us modern mothers of being neurotic, however I counter that these days in the first fortnight of the babys life we are bombarded with more information, more dos and don'ts than she would have encountered in a full 18 years. It is vertiginous navigating your way through and you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. I suppose the one thing that doesn't change is that it is always Mother's fault!

Bella T, West Midlands,

Speaking as a father of two, now 3 and 8 months, some of the midwives and health visitors are barking, too. I've met several who appear to be taking what they have been taught uncritically (even though it is probably based on some statistically dubious research), adding their own unique spin and presenting it as Holy Writ . . .

Lux Aeterna, Manchester,

Claire Veritys heart needs some deep healing. I feel compassion for her, and the fact she can treat human babies like cattle is disturbing. It is even more bizarre that she cans command TV and media space to publicise her grossly distorted and unloving views.
IT IS SIMPLE as Libby says : show them love, emotional and physical support, and that is all baby needs.

Padma, London

Padma, LONDON, UK

Trust mums and dads. Fathers these days in 2 parent families have as much input as mothers with young children.

Why does this article exclude fathers?

Jeff, Surrey, UK

The wonderful thing about this article is the vehemence of the pro and con lobbies for the latest televised guru to appear telling us how to do something we have been doing for about quarter of a million years now - raising human children. The sad truth is that child welfare is a matter for the family and that is a disappearing unit of social cohesion.
As for relying on help and advice from the NHS, do you really want a civil servant telling you how to manage your children. They used to have people like that in Germany. As I recall, called them Gauleiters ...

KR, Stockport,

As a mother who has used all of Gina Ford's books with both my children (2.5 years and 11months), I thoroughly agree that having a routine should be about meeting the needs of your children. The Contented Baby Routines are based on a babies natural rhythms. It is Ford's goal that a baby is never overtired or left hungry. I can honestly say my children have always slept and eaten well (thanks, mostly, I believe to the routines) - they are "contented" and so am I!!!

I am also a member of Gina Ford's Contented Baby Webiste contentedbaby.com . Through the site (established in 2002), Gina works constantly to help and support mothers to meet their babies needs - for Claire Verity to say Gina hasn't worked in realworld babycare this century is nonsense!!!! She has completely devoted her life to the care of babies and the support of their parents and she should be admired for that alone.

Laura, Aberdeen,

Thank you Libby. A glowing beacon of common sense in the minefield of confusing rubbish that is spouted about babycare.
And correct, Tom of London; babies are human beings after all, not some different species. Why do we attempt to apply 'rules' to them about feeding, cuddles etc that we would never apply to ourselves?

Sharon , Basingstoke,

Anyone who can stand by and not cuddle their baby when he (in our case) cries is heartless. Anyone who won't feed a baby if they think he is hungry is a monster. Get real, its a baby, a human being - do unto others blah blah!

Tom, London,

Well said as usual Libby. The trouble is, new mums and dads do need guidance, and all the NHS generally says is "errr, it'll all work out somehow", with the implication that any form of routine in undesirable. Then you're left to get on with it. As you say, we don't necessarily have parental guidance, and in any case, my parents' guidance is 40 years out of date. This is why people like Gina Ford are so popular - they present a "manual" for your new little one. We used Gina Ford's methods as a guide but fortunately had the confidence to adapt them to our baby's particular needs, and it worked out very well. In the final analysis though, babies really just need love - all else follows from that.

Sid, Cambridge,

I am a mother or 2 children, a 2.5 year old and a 3 week old baby. Having forgotten what it's like to look after a tiny baby, I feel as though I'm doing it all again for the first time. I personally have found that the guidance and support received in hospital is minimal and that I am basically alone in rearing a baby. I have personally referred to books such as "The Contented Baby" and taken what advice I can from it and moulded these ideas with my own. I think Gina Ford's book has a lot of merit. Getting a baby into a good but flexible routine, especially when you have other children to care for is crucial. My 3 week old baby is already fitting into this routine and it is working well, giving me plenty of time to spend with my other child. If anyone is interested, in South Africa, there is an author by the name of Anne Richardson who has written a book called "Baby Sense" - this is a very valuable read - not nearly as prescriptive as Gina Ford.

Shelley Nicholas, Johannesburg, South Africa

Mothers should be allowed to enjoy having babies.

There are always those who wish to undermine Mothers and Children.

We need to restore Respect for Families and allow them to have a Family Life with Freedom from Malice and Exploitation.

Better Healthcare Services not more Bossy and Incompetent Non-Providers.

Digory, Narnia, Scotland