"A nanny looks after children - what's wrong with that?" Plenty is wrong with that, Ralph Lane. A nanny will never have a child's long-term interest at heart, that's what's wrong with that. Only a parent truly cares about a child's entire upbringing, not just keeping it clean and quiet until bedtime. A nanny cannot love a child the way a parent can. A nanny can abuse her position, subtly harm a child in many ways. Children raised by nannies will tell of what they endured at the hands of some nannies. So, Ralph, please think again about what's wrong with nannies bringing up children.

Narguesse Stevens, Montaigu-de-Quercy, France

The advent of dual parents working has been the death knell of the family. All that for a bigger house, more cars in the drive and multiple holidays.

The family and particularly kids have suffered.
How it is sensible to put their offspring into baby farms is beyond me.
It has killed the voluntary sector as well.
Kids need a parent readily available up to and including teenage. Only that way will you maximise their potential. The state cant and wont do it.

John, North Yorks,

Well done Cathereine
Stick at it
Those with a brain agree you are doing the most important job in the world
It will pay dividends.

John, North Yorks,

By the time we get to Y11/ sixth form, when most of us have jobs and have to pay for our own clothes, we don't care where it's from, so long as it looks good. This is especially true for girls, and we wear clothes from Peacocks, Tesco, Asda, wherever. Shoes are often from Shoe Zone. The boys do like their labels though, esp. on trainers.

Becca, Bognor,

It's not only the children, schools are being con from the main supermarkets that promise them computers and equipment for schools, BTW I've never seem my children' schools getting a computer. Teachers and schools should be in their guards, parents cannot control what it's happening in the schools.

Anna, B&H, UK

If my child came home from school and told my wife the teacher said she was selfish for running the family I would have him in front of the Board of Governers quicker than he could say "fat state pension".

I don't want the government interfering in how I decide what is morally right or wrong for my child. That is my job. The school eductaes my children academically. That is where the line should be drawn.

The problem lies with lazy parents who have lost the ability to say no to children and discipline them for bad behaviour.

Leave the kids alone and send parents to school.

salty, Reading,

Jacqueline, how refreshing. I too am a stay at home Mum -Oxford educated, ex banker, daughter of two teachers and absolutely adamant that children need one parent at home - whichever that one is - to actually parent them. I am sick of being told I "don't work" , or asked when i will get a job, when in addition to all the household chores - no gardener, cleaner, painter and decorator or odd jobs persobn here - I am endlessly helping out at school to cover up for families where both parents work NOT for mortgages and food, but for holidays, teles, brand goods. We call them "4 by 4" orphans - the kids whose parents never do the swimming run or turn up for the daytime activities, whose Czech nanny decides she doesn't speak English when little "Billy "has a problem with another child. I am doing the most important job in the world, raising my children. In other countries this is celebrated - in junk food , junk kids Britain we are laughed at. Love your kids, raise them well, enjoy.

Catherine Hamilton, London,

Odd thing to publish at the same time as the "American Beauty" piece that is drawing so many comments...

M.C., Washington DC, USA

School should stop promoting the main supermarkets, with the promises of computers and other equipments. Parents can not control what our children are learning at schools.

Ann, Brighton, UK

Libby Purves has my vote for Minister for Families.

I'm sure that many of you know of/ have read " One Summer's Grace", the account of a journey around Britain in a small boat undertaken by Libby, her husband Paul and her two children.

Not always jolly times and many difficulties had to be tackled but this is how a family bonds, how they really get to know each other (warts-and-all), how trust and respect are earned and and when a hug and a story are more precious than Playstation 3.

Not everyone can take a year out of their lives like this but some time everyday has the same effect.

Our family used to cook together, we ate together at a table - no TV - we talked about our day, exchanged complaints, pleasures and ideas. We made birthday and Christmas cards, did school homework and watched Home & Away - Together.

We invested our time, not money, in raising our two daughters. They visited us last week.

Return on investment?

Cost = only time
Return = endless pleasure

R Bingham, Lauzun, France

Contrary to the majority of posts I think this article is tosh. For me it has two flaws, both of which are the cause of the problem we are experiencing around children today.
First off, who controls the money in your house? You or your kids? If it is you, as it should be, then if your kids have got the latest designer clothes or new phone or iPod, then you are to blame - not advertisers, or the government or the schools - because you are too weak to risk their moods/unhappiness /unfriendliness and say NO, you don't need it and you are not having it. Very few kids have independent access to money.
Secondly, we are already a very child-centred country and look where that has got us. There is no harm in telling kids, at an appropriate age, that the world does not revolve round them and that they have a certain place in the pecking order.
Bringing up kids isn't rocket science. As the parent you make the rules, you enforce the rules and take the aggro, and very often the love that follows

Steven, Ivybridge, Devon

THIS is the most important and relevant article about modern Britain to appear for years. Congratulations. It should be imprinted on the brains of every greedy marketeer, every vapid celeb and every inadequate parent of whichever class. WELL DONE!

David, Stafford, UK

Spot on.

Katrine, Cph, Denmark

What a great article! You're right on!

When my kids were growing up, we couldn't afford the latest toys, craze, etc. We told them that they should be happy with what they got. Guess what? They were. They are all well-adjusted, successful adults today.

Our world is entirely too materialistic. Money does not buy happiness, but peace of mind from debt does.

Mary Whitehead, Fort Worth, Texas USA

(the nanny state would) "resemble paternal power if, like that, it had for its object to prepare men for manhood; but on the contrary, it seeks only to keep them fixed irrevocably in childhood; it likes citizens to enjoy themselves provided that they think only of enjoying themselves... it provides for their security, foresees and secures their needs, facilitates their pleasures, conducts their principal affairs, directs their industry, regulates their estates, divides their inheritances; can it not take away from them entirely the trouble of thinking and the pain of living? … it does not tyrannize, it hinders, compromises, enervates, extinguishes, dazes, and finally reduces each nation to being nothing more than a herd of timid and industrious animals of which the government is the shepherd" Tocqueville

to put that in simple terms for Ralph, a nanny state is bad because its citizens will be treated as children, with no freedom to do as they wish in any area of their lives

mike, warrington, uk

What's wrong with the nanny state? A nanny looks after children. Anything wrong with that?

Ralph Lane, Pevensey Bay, UK

for so long now, i've been made to feel guilty for being a stay at home mum. to the point that one of my children came home from school and told me his teacher said, to have one parent out working when you have children is selfish. well i think putting family values first, spending time with my children and teaching them right from wrong is far more important than selling out their childhoods too the latest high street lable or computer console.but untill all of us parents take responsibility for our offspring and stop being dictated to by advertising campains, were fighting a loosing battle.

jacqueline brayshay, crawley, uk

For a start - bring back school uniforms and confiscate all bling, mobiles, iPods and electronic games at the school gate. Then stop all TV advertising before the watershed, including trailers. Then make it a child abuse case to permit a child - under 15, say, to watch TV after that or to roam free on the Internet. In short, bring back the bad old days when children had to make their own amusements and had very little money to spend. It would be the making of them.

Rosemary , Liverpool,