The train left Geneva at 00.51am on the dot, as stated, and arrived in Zurich two hours and 54 minutes later, which was the deal. The ticket collector made his way down the carriage, genially ignoring the blurred lines between first and second-class travellers, as this was an Extrazug, laid on with the purpose of getting football supporters home. He was not going to argue if some had treated themselves to a complimentary upgrade. They were well behaved anyway, the Turkish lads. They don't drink, either, and the frequent trolley remained heavy with beer.

Last night I broke the 3,000km barrier on train lines across Austria and Switzerland. Cost: nothing. Part of the deal when hosting a tournament is that media receive free first-class rail travel. Supporters get a bargain, too. The inspector wasn't checking for rail tickets but match tickets; possession entitles the holder to go free on all public transport until noon the day after the game.

The last train to Zurich, under normal circumstances, leaves at 9.45pm, but on match nights there have been additional departures in the small hours, meaning lucrative freight commitments take second place and extra staff or overtime is negotiated to compensate for keeping the equivalent of several large armies on the move, fed and watered. In Vienna, the U-bahn network - their equivalent of the London Underground - works on the honour system anyway. There are meant to be checks, but I haven't witnessed one.

And it couldn't happen here in England. We will host the Olympics - and we appear prepared to supplicate ourselves before some of the most powerful figures in football until we are given the World Cup in 2018 - but, if that award is made, what follows will be a national embarrassment. The clue to why the infrastructure of this tournament works is in the name of the transport companies driving it: Schweizerische Bundesbahnen (SBB) and Österreichische Bundesbahnen (ÖBB). Owned by the nation, managed for the nation, the nation takes precedence. If late trains are running from Geneva to the rest of Switzerland, then late trains are running from Lancy-Pont-Rouge to Genève Cornavin, too, because that is the shuttle route to the stadium. For us, it is different. Just synchronising Wembley trains alone would require the co-operation of three rail networks: Chiltern Railways, who service Wembley Stadium station, London Overground, who run trains into Wembley Central, and London Underground, who supply Wembley Park. In total there are more than 20 rail networks in England alone that would need to be squared off if there was to be a complementary and complimentary public transport service during a home World Cup.

This is not another whine about the inferiority of modern Britain. The train into Innsbruck on Wednesday was late, the one back to Zurich yesterday was delayed and oversubscribed. British railways work most of the time, but they are not ours to control. The system is now run by men in boardrooms, with shareholders to placate and targets to meet, who are not going to look too kindly upon a chap from the Government blithely announcing that overnight freight services are to be disrupted for a month by extra passenger trains except - get this - we're letting everybody on for nothing. SBB stations may appear confusing from the outside, because the German name also takes in a French alternative, CFF, and an Italian, FFS, but SBB-CFF-FFS is all one company, unlike the tower of Babel that is England's rail network.

It is not enough to bring a few big cities and the odd main line into the programme, either. Fans do not always stay in the places where the matches are played; and team training camps, for instance, which are a massive attraction, are often in the middle of nowhere. At Euro 2008, Germany are staying in southern Switzerland and the nearest venue is 386 kilometres away in Geneva. At an English World Cup, Brazil could easily set up camp at a complex near the Welsh border and bring the world's media plus a thousand fans each day hurtling down the Wrexham and Shropshire line.

Using the current framework, to introduce a coherent timetable during a World Cup would require the co-operation of c2c, Chiltern Railways, Cross Country, East Midlands Trains, First Capital Connect, First Great Western, Gatwick Express, London Midland, London Overground, Merseyrail, National Express East Coast, Northern Rail, South West Trains, Southeastern, Southern, Virgin West Coast, Grand Central, Heathrow Connect, Heathrow Express, Hull Trains and Wrexham and Shropshire. Not to mention various tram lines, bus lines and metro systems.

A spokesman for the Association of Train Operating Companies is already doing the numbers in anticipation of a lavish compensation package. “It can't come cheap,” he said. “That is assuming the freight customers agree; you can assume there would be some argy-bargy.” Or some Argies that would be better off on a barge, rather than hanging around for a non-existent night train from Portsmouth. Even if one is laid on, it's hard to imagine it will come free, because the Treasury would then need to commit public money to reimbursing the privatised rail network for subsidising tourists.

Yet a World Cup cannot be delivered without that promise, so what does this mean? A financial escalation comparable to the Olympic delivery, for a start. Just as nobody factored in the real cost of compensating businesses displaced by the construction of the Olympic park, so compensation claims from the rail networks would be in the realm of thinking up numbers, then doubling them. Switzerland and Austria can control budgets because the funds are being moved from one government pot to the next. It is not the same here. England's bid will be derailed by the wrong kind of dough.

Times Recommends

• Navigating the new global archipelago
• Comment: McCain isn't Bush and voters know it
• Religion's history of self-inflicted pain