"mountain rescue teams need a reason for existence beyond giving quotes to newspapers" - mountain rescue teams are made up of private individuals who give up their *spare* time for *free*. They don't receive personal enumeration, neither do they receive government support. Presumably they could do without muppets who get into trouble because of cras stupidity, or fool journalists who make fatuous comments.

As for the child "remembering" - he is 14 months old for Gods sake!

Andrew Wilkinson, Lemesos, Cyprus

My husband insists that both the lid AND the seat are put back down on the toilet after use! Which is fine in my book, although it did take me a while to get used to it. He also doesn't understand how some men can't pee into the loo but are hell bent on sprinkling all over the floor and surrounding surfaces!

Two comments above interested me: firstly, yes I think we all spotted the pathetic-government-policy angle and decided it wasn't worth talking about.. There's too many of them and MNr Parris does it so much better than we can. It's not exactly news is it?

And secondly, the lady who said putting the toilet seat down stopped nasty bathroom odours.... that one worried me a lot. We clean ours. That works well.

Zarich, London, England

What is "travertine" and is it warm to sit upon? The best loo seat in our house is the wooden one upstairs. That usually stays in the down position. The plastic seat in the downstairs loo is the bone of contention. Maybe travertine is what we have in station loos, but it is a bit frosty on the bottom, even so. Beats me why women take an age in the loo, unless they have an upset stomach! A lot enjoy the privacy a loo brings to do whatever. Maybe if we had cameras in public loos, we'd have the answer to that one.

Carlyle Braden, Croydon, U.K.

A notice I saw in Australia read "the last man to leave the toilet seat up is buried in the back garden".

Sue, Sopot, Poland

The lid, the lid! This debate was rendered obsolete in about 1955.

Tony Jones, Grantham, Lincs

with regards to the lavatory seat issue, is it not far preferable to use the toilet LID? why else is it there?! if you put down the lid as well as the seat, it prevents splashback onto the seat from flushing, helps keep unpleasant 'toilet' odours at bay, and is simply by far the most convenient option. it also provides a sensible solution to the elderly people/toilet seat issue mentioned above by brian hershman. perhaps most importantly, it means that neither the men nor the women 'win' by having it their way!

Steph, London, UK

Perhaps if Mr Parris stopped using ladies public lavatories and started using the mens instead, he would find this source of annoyance would cease by itself.

David Carr-Allinson, Oxford, UK

No consideration has yet been given to the elderly and the lavatory-seat-question. Many elderly people (not me of course) reverse into the lavatory just for somewhere to sit before their knees give out. Imagine the shock to their hearts if, the lid not being down, they fall so much further than they might reasonably expect!

Brian Hershman, Clonakilty, Ireland

Do you leave your dustbin/kitchen bin lid up? Then why leave up the toilet seat?

J.Cownie, Derby,

Look! The 10 comments problem has been fixed! Hurray!

As for squatting and my legs and feet getting splattered.. Ewww. All the squatting loos I've seen have had ... whatever ... all over the floor.

Why do women take so long on the toilet, by the way?

Starling, Lancaster,

Sorry. Have I missed the point? I thought that this article was actually polemic; about our government which is more likely to introduce such public policy than anything weighty, important or meaningful.

Andrew Hamilton-Meikle, Taunton, UK

In my bathroom is the following notice:-

"This is a male-orientated establishment. Ladies are requested to return the seat to the upright position after use."

Paul Motte-Harrison, Shoreham-by-Sea, West Sussex

Matthew Parris is clearly out of touch. We don't "do" lavatory seats in my house. The loo is carved out of travertine and is a "one-piece". Toilet seats are so 90s.

Peter Knight-Barnard, SIena, Italy

Was it one of Vita Sackville-West's lesbian friends who had the seat nailed down or somehow mechanically secured in the down-position? I can't find the reference. Bruce Tucker of Cambridge might consider having two separate installations ─ a urinal for men and the Full Lavatory for women. And preferably separate rooms. Expensive but a small price to pay for domestic harmony. Strange how lavatory seats have the capacity to focus female resentment. Perhaps it is the smell of urinal hormones that irritates women. And do straight couples still argue about leaving toothpaste tube tops lying around? Why would anyone do that? Thank God I'm gay. :)

Cyril, Cape Town, South Africa

As a working mother of a small son who was too interested in life, the universe and everything to be concerned about toilet seats, or even pointing in the right direction, it seemed the most sensible option to leave the toilet seat permanently up - even when I'm seated on it! Many years later, with the son now well into adulthood, I still keep it up and find myself being intensely annoyed by people who want it left down. Have you ever peeked underneath the permanently down and seen how incredibly mucky it usually is? Why, in this day of space age materials hasn't someone designed a seatless toilet that is both comfortable and hygienic?

Jas, London, UK

How does Alan from Reading know that the 'gals' place their bags directly on to the toiltet floors? Does he follow them in to the ladies' to check? (There are hooks on the back of most toilet doors to avoid such unsavoury handbag habits Alan.)

Nadia, London,

why do women demand the seat is left down?

women are just plain lazy that's why!

i always make a point of leaving the seat up.

anne murphy - why can't men pee sitting down - absolutely ridiculous comment. why can't you pee standing up? it's called biology sweetheart.

jamie, london, uk

I climbed Scafell Pike as a kid in the 1950s. In those days we called it a hill.

Malcolm , Brussels, Belgium

Why not computerised seats using biometric and face recognition technology to assess the probability of the visitor being male or female? The government could run the project to improve our lives, and it would only take ten years and 1 billion pounds.

Neil Murphy, cromer,

Dear Bruce Tucker of Cambridge, UK.

Get your son to do his "watering" in a bottle. Make sure that he tilts the bottle at a 45 degree angle so that the "product" streams down the side of the bottle to the bottom, and not hit the bottom straight, causing a rather embarrasing noise.

As for the women in your family, I gather it is probably a bit harder to use a bottle, so, keep the seat down .. for speed.

Pete, Cov,

I have noticed a trend in very upmarket hotels to have two en-suite bathrooms, his and hers. Is this why?

Seriously, leaving it down means less handling of the thing overall. As for the lid, I thought this was to transform it into a dressing stool after a bath or whatever. The lid should not be left down during flushing, as this forces the bacteria-contaminated water spray even further afield than it would normally go. Virgin trains do not appear to know this, since the flushing button is positioned behind the lid.

alexandria, Sheffield, UK

Actually you're all missing the point. The seat lid is not there for aesthetic reasons, it's to minimise aerobic dispersion of bacteria.

Nick Downes, Staines, Middlesex

To Peter in Bournmouth and the rest of you vertically challenged gentlemen: of course you can pee standing up if you want. But if you concentrate really hard you might find you can manage it sitting down too. It would be a big step up the skills scale, I know, but then a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?

Anne Murphy, London, UK

Toilet seats, with their accompanying lid, should be put down after using the toilet so that when the toilet is flushed the germs are trapped below the lid. To do otherwise you risk sending millions of bacteria into the atmosphere.

Miriam Smith, Rickmansworth, Herts

The obvious conclusion must be, have it neither up or down, get rid of the toilet seat altogether! Squating over a toilet is extremely good exercise, strengthening leg, buttock and back muscles. In countries that have this type of toilet you will find that people are much healthier and fitter. Who would have thought that such a simple move could not only solve a long running argument, but also improve the nations health with one push.

J W Randall, Edinburgh,

Hygiene and common sense don't dictate anything more than to leave the seat the way it was when you used it so as not to have to touch it with your bare hands!!

Constance, London,

A bit off topic but...

Have you ever noticed gals who sit their handbags on public toilet floors - then go directly to their dining tables and set it on the table? Happens a lot!

Alan, Reading,

And why do they take so much time in the loo. Its really frustrating waiting for them outside the "ladies" or when it is unisex.

t c chopra, New Delhi, india

The toilet lid should always be put down before flushing as the process can aerate faecal matter and closing the lid stops this.
If the lid is generally shut it will stop the incidence of mobile phones accidentally dropped down the toilet.

Brannigan, Boston, USA

The definitive answer:- To both sexes....

"Always leave both seat AND lid down after use- NEVER just leave the seat down.

And while you are at it leave it in such a clean state as you would want to find it."

Now...please!!!!

Richard, London, UK

I am reminded of the two London professors of medicine who meet in the Gents, one from Tommy's and one from Guy's. Astonished to find that the Tomm's professor does not wash his hands afterwards, the Guy's man exclaims, "At Guy's the first thing we teach our medical students is to wash their hands after visiting the loo."
The Tommy's prof replies, "At Tommy's the first thing we teach is the no-touch technique."

Terry Hamblin, Bournemouth, UK

Matthew Parris wants the seat left up.
I like the lid left down for hygine reasons to prevent spray.
My Wife wants the seat left down for convenience.
My Grandaughter needs the seat left down for speed.
My Grandsons need the seat left up for speed.
Please advise.

Bruce Tucker, Cambridge, UK

Why not use the sink like any normal bloke?

Doug Bates, St. Albans,

Since when have sensible comments made it into the press? What a genious Mr P you are. It is obvious that the seat should be left up. If you are going to sit on it you have to touch it anyway. So let those incredibly skilled people who can pee standing up, do so without having to touch the seat.

I can't believe I just made a comment about toilet seats!

simon, York, Yorkshire

isn't there seperate loos for men and women.what is michael parris doing in the ladies?

joe wilson, glasgow, scotland

In answer to Ms Murphy's question "Why do men have to pee standing up" is because we can my dear!! all 3.5 billion of us!!

Peter, Bournemouth,

The answer is to get a cat. Our cat drinks the water in the bowl if we don't put the lid on it. Dispute solved.

Roberta, Cheltenham, England

I wonder why everyone has forgotten that there are not just seats but also a lids attached to our loos - at least in most people's houses. The lid is not there because of an oversight or as a tool for some of us to stop our dogs drinking out of the toilet - a toilet actually looks much more pleasant when the lid is put down at the end of doing one's business.
As the seat needs to be put down before the lid can it seems to me that this should put the argument at rest. It also means that women, like men, will have a task to perform at the end of the process (other than flushing!)which should console those men that seem to find it "unfair" that they are being asked to do something while women just complain.

Judith, Abingdon, UK

Mr. Grattan (living in SA) should not speak for the whole of Africa. What he said does noto happen in the (African) countyr that I lived in

Nike, Houston, Texas, USA

An "urgent need for a new public lavatory policy"? Well, since I never use the Ladies' public lavatories, the 'seat down' position doesn't bother me much. On the other hand, I can cope with the foibles that are indulged in my own household.

Stuart, Chester,

You leave the seat down because females and some males wee sitting down and we all poo sitting down so why would we leave it up if the majority of the time it is in use it is down?

Lynne, Melbourne, Victoria

The real question is: why do men have to pee standing up? Why can't they sit down like the rest of us?

Anne Murphy, London, UK

me and my loved one have the perfect compromise, I always leave it down for him to lift and he always leaves it up for me to put down. Give or take the odd no.2 - it works perfectly and never causes any disagreement.

kim hills, Poole, Dorset

Men have to aim, and can therefore miss. If they don't put down the seat, the woman after them has to soil her hands on the weed-on seat. Women are much less likely to miss, which means it's highly likely that the seat is quite clean when the bloke has put it up.

So, live with it, dearie. Just wash your hands after.

starling, Lancaster,

Perhaps it is time for TV home makeover programmes to start popularising the idea of "his" and "hers" loos?

Ian Kemmish, Biggleswade, UK

Here in Chisinau, Moldova, you're lucky to find a public loo at all, and if you do it'll be a "giant's footsteps" squattie with no doors.

david orchard, chisinau / kishinev, Moldova

Then put the seat up, you dolt. Don't you have hands?

Doddie Householder, Janghowon, South Korea

Well, you are actually meant to lift the seat if you are a bloke. But I am fed up with women who just leave the seat down and not the cover, they contribute to the "splash" problem as much as the men by doing that.

The default position should be "Up" for the following reasons: Use of toilet paper will leave a fair amount of tiny particles originating from previous users which will accumulate on the loo seat for you to sit on, bits of skin etc etc yuck.... anyway- cleaning the loo seat before you use it is not really an option so in the up position there is a chance that gravity will work on keeping the seat relatively gunk free.

philip, London, UK

Mr Parris should come to Africa; where the delicate decision of "up" or "down" is usually resolved by someone stealing the seat. Such a merry continent.

H. Grattan, Johannesburg, South Africa

The last bastion of male privilege is the refusal to clean his own bathroom. May not those of us who clean the loo have the privilege of deciding how best to leave it tidy?

V Powell, North Yorkshire, UK

A rather gender biased approach towards our feminine flocks and sisters, with much of huffing , puffing and a bit of brouhaha on a trivial issue of leaving the "lav" seats 'down' . The write up in totality was a 'brio' with a subtle punch of a satire, with elan and energy. Hygenically speaking...Yes, it is perhaps a nonchalant and insouciant approach by us, all the public lav users to care not putting back the lid up. Let us not discriminate between 'She's and 'He's in blaming the doers. As humans, we have a different mind set in using a public loo vis a vis our personal washroom. We behave in a indiscreet, unmindful manner in using place of "public convenience", while in our homes, we want keep things spick and span, perfect to the "Tee". No more spillages, used toilet rolls , soiled and smudged soap suds or scattered toiletries .It is a place of our privacy and "freedom". To err is human..., so we aught to learn '"toiletiquettes".Having auto-spring seats is an apt solution.

Sandy, New Delhi, India