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From Times Online

March 10, 2007

I’m free – and it’s all because of men like John Inman

Matthew Parris

I raise a salute to that lifesaving human compromise, the open secret. I raise a salute to a band of comrades who, each in their different ways, were the keepers through a dark age of an open secret. My salute is to a dying breed: a breed whose ranks thinned again in the small hours of Thursday morning when John Inman passed away.

Hail to them all: the ludicrous old queens; the drag artists; the pantomime homosexuals; the florid epicureans; the indulgent priests; the sensitive young men in tight trousers; and the wan aesthetes. And hail, too, to their quieter cousins: the discreetly confirmed bachelors and “he never married” brigade, the don’t-ask-don’t-tell soldiers, and the dignified loners who just preferred to stay single and wouldn’t say why. Theirs — all of theirs — to protect and guard was a precious thing: the open secret.

For gay men in the 20th century the open secret was sometimes literally a lifesaver. It was the narrowest of territories: the half-acre that lies somewhere between absolute denial and outright confession, between dishonesty and disgrace. This was a hard place to be in 1970, a narrow line to walk. If our oh-so-modern, who-gives-a-damn, 21st-century gays, of whom I am one, suppose that these men were not brave, that they were not trail-blazers, not part of the struggle, then we don’t know the half of it.

And some of us, it seems, don’t. Already I hear the cry — “living a lie”, “set back the cause”, “self-oppression”, “an insulting stereotype” — from a gay lobby that has taken about five minutes to forget what a dark age England was for us, what light an Inman, a Kenneth Williams, a Danny La Rue or, from America, a Liberace brought into it, and how outrageous, how valiant, those people were.

About five minutes to forget, too, that the people who wanted these men taken off the stage, screen and wireless, were not the gay-rights campaigners but the bigots and guardians of conservative morality. “Sexual perversion”, they said, wasn’t entertainment: it was wicked and dangerous — and bad taste. The BBC, contemplating making a series of Are You Being Served?, tried at first to insist that Mr Humphries was removed.

How fast we forget context. Always a bit of a giggle to their own era, the Inmans, La Rues and Williamses of the last century are now disowned by their newly brave inheritors: the lately and boldly Out.

John Inman’s breath had barely left his body before right-on spokesmen for that imaginary thing, the “gay community”, were berating the “self-oppression” and “stereotyping” of homosexuals that Inman’s Mr Humphries helped to reinforce. His smutty innuendo, his jokes about fairies and handbags, his limp wrist, camp wit and simpering delivery are, they claim, everything we need to shed.

Yes, they are. Of course they are. They are now. But they weren’t then. Then they were a light in the dark. Between the words, these men insinuated a wordless language of their own; they made a nonverbal statement, a shyly comical way of saying: “This is who and what I am; this is my tribe — and, look, I’m famous and life is fun.” To anxious boys like me, who didn’t even know a tribe existed, the lives and careers of these men showed we were not alone. You may say it was a pity it had to be done by double entrendre. Yes it was a pity; but whether by single, double or triple entendre, it was entendu. You could imply it, at last, and at least you could imply it and nobody would lock you up. This was a huge step forward.

Remember before you sniff at the narrow caricature of a gay man conveyed by that old, camp guard, that these were the gays who didn’t retreat into abusive relationships, dirty little broom-cupboard secrets, guilt, suicide, hatred and shame — or surprisingly often the persecution of other gay men. They were the ones who didn’t ruin women’s lives with wretched sham marriages. Whatever the half-truths and timidities of their estate, they were in some deep way being true to themselves. In the manner in which they talked, dressed and even walked, they were refusing to hide something. There is an inner honesty in this which is perhaps stronger than the honesty of signing up to a sexuality on a dotted line.

Their great achievement was to find a way, however comedic, to be themselves without becoming outcasts; and to show the world. It was desperately important to be able to do that 30 years ago.

Have modern activists no sense of history — even very recent history? Instead of thinking simply of where the gay rights movement is going, they should think too about where it has come from. Read Peter Wildeblood’s Against the Law, a personal memoir of police harassment, public humiliation, distorted evidence, a ghoulishly sanctimonious press, dismissal and an 18-month prison sentence, published (at some risk: many bookshops refused to display it) by Weidenfeld & Nicolson in 1955 to great public excitement, and republished a few years ago to almost complete indifference. The book seems to describe another England, remote from ours.

You need to understand that backdrop to understand how quietly brave were men like Noël Coward (who would now be called “closeted”) to go as far as they did. Believe it or not, Wildeblood has some claim to be the first writer in the English language to say he was a homosexual (as opposed to admitting to homosexual acts).

In 1955! Inman arrived only 17 years later. When Are You Being Served? entered mainstream popular culture (and before it, on the BBC Light Programme’s Round the Horne, Kenneth Williams’s and Hugh Paddick’s Julian and Sandy), the idea that homosexuality might be an amusing, unthreatening and not uncommon oddity rather than scary — a moral poison and a mortal sin — was gaining ground. Such portrayals unsoured what it was to be gay. The point about this version of the Gay Everyman, surely, was that he was likeable. You’d be pleased if he moved in next door. As the 1970s went on, a few gay activists did begin to worry about the stereotyping, but this, I believe, was a sign of how fast the times were moving.

Music hall was probably where it started. At the showy end of the spectrum, men like Inman, La Rue and Liberace helped to tease this idea further into the spotlights. Not all of these men were necessarily gay, or exclusively so. Max Miller (“What if I am?”) was not gay but flirted with the stereotype because it was becoming rather popular: it sold seats in theatres. My Nana loved Miller, loved Inman, loved La Rue, laughed like a drain at all of them.

Nana would have loved Graham Norton, too. Julian Clary and Graham Norton are probably among the last exemplars of a breed that may soon seem awfully old-fashioned. The next age may not even see the joke, but if the day should come when a new generation watches those DVDs and wonders what campery had to do with being gay, it will be partly because of, not despite, camp comic turns. Clary and Norton are the last act in a show that has helped to turn what once was seen as shame into light entertainment. Thus did the shame and the ghetto depart, taking with them (but slowly) the tagging and the typecasting.

We gays can shed these stereotypes because we have outgrown them, because we have won the space and public respect to dispense with prison clothes and walk out of the virtual ghettos in which gay people used to bunch for mutual affirmation. We don’t need to belong to a gang any more, to drink in the same pubs, congregate in the same occupations or dress or talk in ways designed to help us recognise each other, and help the outside world to guess without the unpleasantness of having to ask. We are no longer under siege. Everything can be talked about today.

But yesterday, when things weren’t said, things had to be said without words. Men like Inman found the showbiz shorthand to do it. God rest their souls.

Read John Inman’s obituary and other lives remembered

I love watching" Are You Being Served? " The series and characters are a joy and give me wonderful times to laugh. John Inman seems familiar and a comfort at the same time. He just brightens my day. John made people happy and connected no matter your orientation. I am a person of color and watched the show here in the US for the last 20 years.

Hanti Sondi, Lachlan,

Heartfelt condolences to John Inman's husband Ron and the rest of his family. I am perplexed at the number of Gay Groups that decry John, or any other gay man for whatever behaviour they may exhibit, in or out of character. This is 2007, and I have many friends who make Mr. Humphries look butch, and many who make him look like a swish, gay and straight. What is important is not a wrist, nor a prance, but the person inside. The house, not the plumbing, if you will. Mr. Matthews is right, John and many others were courageous, extremely brave pioneers. We must not forget what it was like, and how far the GLBT movement has come, and we are not done yet. But thanks to this lovely man, and others like him, things are much safer, and the world is a little kinder. I hope my great great great grandchildren and beyond love dear little Mr. Humphries as I do. Where ever you are John, you are loved.

C.Kali Nichol, Los Angeles, CA, USA

Sometimes a writer can express themselves in such a way that when we read what they have said, the rest of us think "Yes, that's just the way it was/is". Congratulations Matthew on your excellent style of writing. If I wasn't already aware of your stance on religion, I would almost describe it as God given! Well done Matthew, and keep up your good work.

Michael A. Mason, Heskin, Chorley, Lancashire, United Kingdom

It is a beautiful tribute. I have to confess to having had quite a crush as a child on John Inman. At the time I couldn't have explained why. Then having 'come out' in the highly politicized 90's, I always felt a certain shame about this. Thank you for an article that has changed my perspective. John Inman allowed me to glimpse a lifestyle that I couldn't have seen anywhere else. Dare I say that I wouldn't be the homosexual that I am today without him? I'm free!! God bless you, Mr Inman.

Scott Brennan, Brunswick, Australia

We have indeed lost a true comical genius, in the purest sense of the word! There are not many comedians today that can even hold a candle to his work.

Don Dixon, Bonaire, Georgia, USA

Thank you for that very beautiful tribute to men whom most of us loved to watch and still do. When I heard of Inman's death, I felt sad because someone very dear had departed. I am a grandma and why do I enjoy Clare and Norton? Because of what they bring to the screen. Their warmth, fun, sense of humour and inner confidence make watching them such pleasure. Only too often I find that lacking in other so called 'straight' comedians and presenters.The Gay Rights Movement needs to honour Inman and others because without them, they would not be where they are today. Their often aggressive attitude does not make me warm to them. Bless Inman, heaven will be a more enjoyable place with him there.

Carla Thompson, Rugeley, Staffordshire UK

What a beautiful tribute. I read somewhere that an episode of "Are You Being Served?" is being shown EVERY DAY, 365 days a year, somewhere in the United States. It doesn't surprise me at all. I am straight, and was too young when I started watching the show to appreciate the sexual innuendo--I just thought Mr. Humphries mincing around in tight shorts, as he did in one episode, was hilarious. Later on I appreciated how he showed the loving side of being a man, and the best of British tolerance for "eccentric" behavior, which is the essence of a free society. Still later I appreciated him as the gay icon he grew to be (with a lot of straight female fans!) I found this essay quite moving. Amazing what (or who) moves society towards openness and tolerance. May Inman's heaven be filled with great performances.

Wendy Leibowitz, Washington, DC

It's a long story but John was a friend of a friend of mine and by all accounts a very nice chap indeed. Frank Lamarr is also described by friends as very generous and a good friend to have when things get rough. Quick mention please for Arthur Marshall without doubt one of the funniest men from the 20th century.

wadey, rossendale, uk

How right you are. How moving your words are. Those guys had guts and it if was not for them, the gay community would not be so accepted as they are today. People's memories are selective and very short! I think the world has lost it's sense of humour. Thanks for the laughs and being part of my life.

Chris, Sydney, Australia

I've watched "are you being served" reruns for at least 20 years and never tired of any of the troup. Each time John Inman lept into Captain Peacock's arms was a joy. Never got my sons to appreciate the show, but what do they know about true class?? Philly Girl

Diane g, Philadelphia, PA USA

A sensitive and moving piece, beautifully written as ever. I started reading your piece at one with the view of Inman's role as a crass stereotype that did little to benefit gay men.

You've changed my mind.

Andrew Travers, London,

Matthew Parris,

How right you are! I am 85 and every word you write on homosexuality rings umpteen bells with me! mercifully I have now lived for nearly 25 years with my partner; before then as a university teacher, this would have been impossible. And I do so feel for those poor women who suffered bcause it was really rather necessary (though very unprincipled) to be 'normal' to get on in the world.

David Large, Amsterdam, Netherlands

my wife and i considered john inman's character on are you being served as one of the great comedic performances on television right up there with art carney as ed norton and don knotts as barney fife, he was and will remain through syndication and reruns - pure delight

rick skuce, sutton west, ontario, canada

why don't you try john and we'll be the judge!

Sam, manchester,

Why don't you try James and we'll see!

Sam, manchester,

He was one of my favorite television actors, and the world will miss his presence.

Mr. Parris, this was a lovely tribute to an excellent performer!

Ray Matyjasik, Atlanta, GA, USA

You have wonderfully captured the true contribution of men like Inman. I was so saddened by his death. The first person I ever recognized as being gay was Paul Linde. I loved that he was free, funny and people liked him. Even as a boy, his presence on TV gave me hope that someday, I could be free and still be liked by others.

Vaughn, Washington, USA

Beautifully put, Mr.Parris.

John Inman was a fine comic actor who knew how to get his laughs. The bile and bitchiness which has been floating about since news of his death broke beggars belief.

Thankfully we can always look to Mr.Parris's column to provide the voice of reason and restore one's faith in the better part of human nature.

Russ, Surrey,

Very good piece, Matthew. And now you've shown me yours perhaps you'd like a look at mine!

http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/dave_hill/2007/03/ive_spent_a_lot_of.html

Best wishes.

Dave Hill, London,

A lovely, generous, talented, witty man who brought joy to people world-wide has died. For some columnists, and commenters, this occassions a chance to show the rest of us how it's "all about me" in tortured detail. The rest of us will honor a fellow human who got through life in fine style and who continues to give us the greatest gift possible: laughter.

Margaret Jenks, Pownal, Vermont

We should remember that some black activitists in the 1960 and 70's looked down on black actors such as Butterfly McQueen for their stereotypical portayal of black characters in the 1930's and 40's. But that view has largely changed now. The same will happen to the likes of Mr Inman as we embrace our own history.
I suggest viewing an interesting documentary narrated by Lily Tomlin called "The Celluloid Closet" for those who disparage Mr Inman. It will give them some perspective, I think.

Don, Toronto, Canada

Some decent points but a lot of guff too. Who are these modern gay rights advocates slagging off Inman - no names or quotes, I strongly suspect because there aren't any.

Also the whole schtick about open secrets and it being dangerous to be out is contradicted a bit by the bit in Finkelstein's blog - Inman was stating straight-forwardly that he had a female partner and was straight. In 1999, not the 1970s.

Nothing against the man but this deification is a bit rich.

Ian Donaldson, Edinburgh,

Was the actor gay?

No, don't answer me that. It's irrelevant. He was an excellent actor in a trebulent time. Nowadays, younger gays would tend to be repelled by the stereotype, but, at the time, how was he supposed to convey the fact that he was playing a gay character?

As far as I'm concerned, he was doing what he could to play a gay character (without actually having to prove that he was gay), and--this is the important part--he was treated by his employer and fellow employees with respect.

raj, Wellesley, Massachusetts

In the days when 'matelots' had to wear uniform to go ashore in Portsmouth - pre 1964 - the best pub in Pompey was the 'Albany' in Commercial Road. Alright it was topped up with what we call today - 'drag-queens' - like 'Wally the Dolly', 'Peter the Eater' and 'Gilda' - but there wasn't a 'matelot' either in Royal Naval Barracks or onboard ships that didn't call in there for a pint - or two - before boarding the train to London, or on a 'run ashore' that night. The major attraction of the evening .. as always ... was 'Peter' running out of the Pub in tears - screaming - 'Wally the bitch has stolen my young sailor" .... If there are any 'ex-matelots' reading this, it should bring back.... ' those days of innocence' ... on a run ashore in Pompey ... sadly ..... gone for ever ........ as 'Sweet Little Buttercup" .... sang in HMS 'Pinafore' ... "Sailors shouldn't be shy" .. how very true !

Norman Tomlinson, Lancaster, Lancashire

Good on yer, Matthew.

Though, as a single (by preference) non-gay man, I have the feeling that you may have been casting your net a little wide and making a few, dubious assumptions with one or two of your statements.

That quibble aside, good on yer.

No one should have to make excuses for what nature (or God, if you believe in such a thing) has made you.

Homosexual or heterosexual -- as long as you don't harm the children or frighten the horses, it is a difference that only matters to the parties involved.

Richard Alan Smith, Bloomfield Hills, USA, MI

Dear Matthew -

Your article moved me to tears. I showed it to my partner of 30 years who read it twice over.

We have had an easy life compared to most gay , as well as straight people but are forever grateful for the brave people who have gone before us. It didn't take any courage for us to live as an openly gay couple because we loved each other so much, even to the dismay of family and friends in the '70's and early '80's: but we thank the likes of John Inman who made us laugh on our journey.

We celebrate the fact that young people today appear to take being gay for granted. We just hope that this is true.

John , London, UK

Mr Parris refers to "the discreetly confirmed bachelors and “he never married” brigade, the don’t-ask-don’t-tell soldiers, and the dignified loners who just preferred to stay single and wouldn’t say why." His implication seems to be that any single man (presumably above a certain age) is probably a homosexual. I doubt very much if this is the case. There are plenty of other good reasons for remaining single. I also suspect that some of his other categories are poorly correlated with homosexuality.

David , Oxford, UK

Another point: camp is just plain fun! I've always loved camping up - the wit and style - and, when I was younger, was disappointed that so many fellow lesbians were far too earnestly 'political' to have as much fun as the menfolk in this way!

Doc M, Glasgow,

It's clear that the Bible says, in more than one place, that homosexual acts are a sin. That's not the same thing at all as saying that being gay, in and of itself, is a sin. It also doesn't mean that anyone has any right to abuse another because of their sexual preference. That is also a sin, and nobody who truly claims to be a Christian would do so. Before I would attempt to get a gay person to stop performing homosexual related behaviors, I believe that I need to be the best heterosexual person I can be. In my opinion, John Inman was a great example of a gay person. He didn't throw it in my face, but he didn't hide it, either. He was first a fine person, then a fine example of a gay gentleman, and also a great comic actor. I'm pleased to see his work, and I would have been pleased to call him a friend. Here in America, we also had a great example- Bill Brochtrup, from NYPD Blue. Frankly, from my "modern" perspective, I didn't see the stereotype In John Inman's acting.

Scott Hedrick, Old Town, Florida

Yet another superb piece from Matthew - A National Treasure, if ever. I'm a little younger I think (55) but - from my experience - what Matthew writes is so telling and so perceptive. As a fellow gay man, I salute Matthew and John and all other trail blazers.

Richard Jackson, Richmond, Surrey, UK

Even, I sometimes long to go back to the days of Inman. Everything is so blatendly "in my face" these days. If I imagine for a moment to be seventeen again, in this world of anything goes, it is my guess is that these times must be much more complicated.

robert, vancouver, bc

I was very lucky, having been born in 1951, to be in the right place and the right time for gay people --I came out during the first fluries of the gay rights movement. I think we are all very lucky to have been preceded by the Inmans, the Cowards, the Gielguds, even someone like poor Rock Hudson -- who took the risk of skating close to the edge
before it was safe. Yes, Coward could appear to be hypocritical -- but then go read a short story like "Me and The Girls" about a dying gay song-and-dance-man -- and tell me that is the work of a closeted man. People act according to the dictates of their own time's zeitgeist.
We owe them all a debt of gratitude.

Mitchell Gellee, Boston, MA USA

Those of us active In CHE and Gay Liberation will remember the men like John Inman who founded organisations, encouraged us younger guys, gave money, time and (on occassion) came and bailed us out of jail when we got arrested on marches. Having taken enormous steps themselves they cheered and waved us on as we took the next ones. Often the only reason they could not come with us was because of elderly parents or a career that would have been smashed to pieces. They still, incidentally, exist. Just go to theTestaccio nights clubs in Rome and dance with the Cardinals!

tTony Konrath, Key West (USA) and London, USA & UK

And it is a struggle that goes on. Wthin the past month, three young men in Kingston, Jamaica who fit the description were trapped inside a shopping mall by a crowd of hundreds demanding that they be stoned to death. They were finally rescued by the police. As Mr. Parris points out, we forget the risks that these people took in the struggle for personal freedom and for which they should be thanked.

Bill, Vancouver, Canada

In 1963 Myra Hindley came in the gown store in Piccadilly in Manchester. It was Dennis, our adorable, lovable gay window dresser that beckoned her whilst she stood outside of Polly of Piccadilly. Dennis was the epitome of taste. He taught me how to use eyeliner and walk so as to woo the Provident Customers at the shows on a Thursdays. We had many fun times as a young teen and were shown how to wear things theatrically, but not cheap. I loved him immensely in a way that is not explainable, same as I later loved Frank Lammarr of Foo Foos. All identities with wit, compassion and charm. They were an honour to know unlike the 'bitch of belson' who bought her famous black gown from us with a man friend.

I still thank Dennis and those theatrical people of that time for my survival and wit. John Inman would be given pride of place in Las Vegas as a supreme individual who held charisma whatever gender. He never killed kids, unlike others skirting the bars who envy the fame.

P A Badger, on location. Pennines., UK

Bravo! To you and to John Inman.

Rod Nelson, Coquitlam, BC, Canada

A well deserved and well written tribute to the men who dared to stand out. Living in Singapore one realizes just how important men (and women) like these are. Until recently we were still in the dark ages of campness and hidden bars. And as a footnote to the dear gentleman who commented above from across the atlantic - Manhattan isn't such a big world is it?

justinwhite, singapore, singapore

I would love to give my view but I can't for fear of being arrested. Still one sided arguements are common practise these days.

James Colton, Norwich, Norfolk

O my what a little world you live in . Im 74, I came out in 1952 and never had to hide . The only problem was getting caught cruising.! But may be I was lucky I was butch

Michael Louis Parkin, New York, USA

Well said Parris!
You are a brave exponent of your birth!
All you said is so true - and so sad!
I had two homosexual brothers.
I didn't know that when I grew up with them.
When I discovered it - I then knew them anew!
Happily it meant a real understanding and loving!
Inman helped. But Wilde helped more!
Poor Wilde! Dead at 50. Such a wonderful legacy!
Intolerance has caused so much sadness.
In this case, Ignorance caused most of the hurt.
I think we can all agree that things have changed for the better!
Bye Bye Inman!
Thanks Parris!

John, Florianopolis, Brazil

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Matthew Parris

Matthew Parris joined The Times as parliamentary sketchwriter in 1988, a role he held until 2001. He had formerly worked for the Foreign Office and been a Conservative MP from 1979-86. He has published many books on travel and politics and an autobiography, Chance Witness, for which he won the 2004 Orwell Prize. His diary appears in The Times on Thursdays, and his Opinion column on Saturdays