Matthew Parris: My Week
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On Sunday (and little-reported, let’s face it, because they are black) the eight Ethiopian guides and assistants, kidnapped in the Danakil Depression along with five white British embassy staff, were found safe and well. They had been released by their captors, weeks after the release of the embassy staff.
Did you wonder why, after the release of the Europeans, there were no “My journey into hell” stories from any of them in the newspapers? They could have sold such stories for tidy sums, but all chose not to. They were unwilling to inflame the situation and endanger the lives of their Ethiopian comrades, still in captivity. So we read no “tears of joy” accounts: just the sober comment that the embassy staff’s first thoughts were for their missing comrades. Good for them.
And it worked. The atmosphere calmed, people could think and talk quietly, and the Afars who (presumably) captured the party, and were never, I believe, serious political activists or “terrorists” anyway, let them go.
A pity the British Admiralty felt that after the recent Iranian kidnap it could not count on the discretion of its own personnel. Clearly the British embassy could.

This, from a BBC internal staff information sheet: “In the first release we will be rolling out leave and absence management functionality to those who are not on the current Allocate system . . .”
If this is how the corporation talks to itself, what hopes for plain speaking with the rest of us?

Gulp. This is going to enrage someone I think of as a friend, but who may not, after this morning, feel I’m treating him like one. After the Tories’ travails over Greg Dyke I have had to accept that what another friend wrote (in another newspaper) a year ago was right.
John Major. It’s obvious he should stand as Tory candidate for Mayor of London, isn’t it? Sir John has always been personally respected and his political star has been gently rising with hindsight since his departure ten years ago. Many still miss him. Perhaps his greatest project, the move towards rapprochement in Northern Ireland, is doing well. His behaviour towards his old party has been impeccable – standing supportive but a little apart, refraining from back-seat driving or embarrassing and patronising his successors, but allowing himself just the hint of a comment on this or that when it really seems to matter.
What a waste that he should not contribute more. Major’s a Londoner through and through, and a former South London councillor. Shortly to launch a book on cricket (More Than a Game) he’s a sports fan, well positioned, alongside his fellow Tory Sebastian Coe, for the London Olympics. He’s a former Chancellor of the Exchequer and a former banker who understands the City. He can do sums – a London mayor will need a critical and numerate eye in the decade ahead. His time in Downing Street and at the Foreign Office equips him with the friends and contacts abroad that London needs. On the streets, and in his gentle way, he’s always been a good hand-shaker and listener: civil, warm, a diplomat and counsellor.
The downside? For him, personally, huge. Journalists and enemies going through his dustbins again, carping at his directorships, checking whether his light bulbs are energy-efficient – who wants it? He’s enjoying life, enjoying cricket, enjoying business, enjoying privacy after seven years of media hell. But is that how he wishes to go – strolling off amiably towards the sunloungers, and sundowners, and sunset? All the others have. Tony Blair, whatever you may suppose, will do nothing more in his life. Margaret Thatcher didn’t. Jim Callaghan, Ted Heath, Harold Wilson, Harold Macmillan didn’t. They all just drifted away, and in every case the spectacle has been melancholy. Why not buck the trend?
The speech Major could make, writes itself, and it starts: “This is not, for me, an itch for office or prominence – after seven years at the top I’ve had all that . . .” and goes on to be perfectly civil about his old friend Ken Livingstone, and concludes that he’ll be sorry but not hurt, and even relieved, if he doesn’t win; but thought that he should at least put his services and experience at Londoners’ disposal: “It’s an offer, that’s all. You may take it or leave it.” I think he would win. He knows he would.
Contradict me if you dare: no British prime minister in history has ever done anything seriously worthwhile or interesting after leaving Downing Street. How about being the first, John?
Matthew Parris joined The Times as parliamentary sketchwriter in 1988, a role he held until 2001. He had formerly worked for the Foreign Office and been a Conservative MP from 1979-86. He has published many books on travel and politics and an autobiography, Chance Witness, for which he won the 2004 Orwell Prize. His diary appears in The Times on Thursdays, and his Opinion column on Saturdays
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I have to agree with Paul Owen, John Major is a decent man who was badly let down by his party. And as we are now seeing, after 10 years in government a party can become, shall we say, stale. What I do find surprising is the number of people posting negative comments that are in essence recycling the Labour spin from those days. Surely after all these years that part of the criticisms can be seen to have been Blair/Campbell spin and discarded.
Gabor Kovacs, Southampton, UK
A superb idea, Major would win in London. A statesman, decent guy, politician of some considerable ingenuity, well-connected, local man, he would be head and shoulders above the opposition.
Julian White, Lowestoft, UK
I am not a fan but what on earth has the mans affair with Edwina Curry got to do with his abilities as a politician and administrator? Typical English middle class smugness; grow up gents.
Tom Syke, Huddersfield, UK
Now the kidnapped Ethiopian guides are back, the British silence is having another, more negative effect. The Ethiopian government has been coaching the Ethiopians in their lines - that it was Ethiopia's enemy Eritrea that took them and that it treated them very badly (just Google the state-contolled Ethiopian News Agency to see the resulting propaganda). But if you speak to any of the European captives personally, they will tell you that Eritrea had nothing to do with their kidnapping and th Afrs that took them treated them very well. Their decision not to go public with this means that the Ethiopians can spin to their hearts content and continue to build up their case for a future return to conflict with Eritrea.
William Brown, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
Errr Edwina Currie?? Anyone remember that affair after the rest of us were told to behave ourselves?
Let's at least find someone who hasn't been caught with their pants down yet.
Steve Byrne, Christchurch, UK
My very thought exactly! Well said, Matthew!
bill clements, enderby,
Major was a hopeless and lazy prime minister he would no doubt make an equally useless and lazy mayor of London.
It seems that if you are a complete waste of space this ensures you are well qualified to get a well paid (by the taxpayer) job in Britain these days.
Noted only for the stupid and monstrously expensive disaster of rail privatisation and an affair with Eggwina he did nothing of any value.
On reflection perhaps the fact he was lazy was no bad thing.
D. H., Manchester,
Is this not the classic mistake of putting the personality before the vision? John Major may well have the vision - in which case he could be an excellent candidate - but what is it? I suspect there are many candidates with visions for London. Let's be allowed to hear them. Ken's appeal was that he wasn't, at the time of his election, a political puppet. He actually had something to say and he actually wanted to do something. Matthew, you can do us all a favour by encouraging the Times to represent people by their vision rather than just by their popularity and light bulbs.
Richard Evans, Huntingdon, Cambs
The subject of atheism was raised recently in my local press and the atheist writer who opened the subject elected to remain anonymous. I replied that I found this odd, seeing no reason why I should decline to sign up to my atheism. This elicited another anonymous reply, the reason given being fear of retaliation. This may speak volumes about religion but shows a pretty spineless attitude to opposing it, hardly worth while even saying anything.
John Gayfer, Alcester, Warwickshire
I moved to London in 1997 and was very sorry to see John Major go. He has those stellar qualities that I, and many with me, see as core british: Polite, restrained, intelligent and a good public speaker.
He is indeed an excellent candidate for London, and would spare us the embarressment of Red-Ken and his cosying up to people like Hugo Chavez.
William Hagerup, London,
What about Matthew Parris for Mayor of London?
Howard Cooke, London,
A minor point on your major article - the accusation of racism over the missing Ethiopians is unjustified; we are always going to be more interested in things that happen to British people abroad than we are in foreigners. Do you expect British newspapers to report every one of the 30 or so murders that happen every day just in the US?
Andy O, Dundee,
Is this idea an oblique reversal of the French polical norm where the Mayor of Paris often moves on to figure in national politics?
Steve, Richmond,
Is Churchill's "History of the English-speaking Peoples" neither worthwhile nor interesting?
Peter Taylor, Cambridge,
No more revelations from Edwina please, that is a mental image too far!
V, london, UK
"no British prime minister in history has ever done anything seriously worthwhile or interesting after leaving Downing Street"
Wellington briefly ran the whole government single handed in 1834, was foreign secretary 1834-5 and leader of the Lords 1841-46, including being vital in getting the Repeal of the Corn Laws through. Oh, and of course remained Commander-in-Chief of the Forces until his death. All after his rather disastrous spell as PM.
Robert Elliot, Twickenham,
Is this not the classic mistake of putting the personality before the vision? John Major may well have the vision - in which case he could be an excellent candidate - but what is it. I suspect there are many other candidates with visions for London. Let's be allowed to hear them. Ken's appeal was that he wasn't, at the time of his election, a political puppet. He actually had something to say and he actually wanted to do something. Matthew, you can do us all a favour by encouraging the Times to represent people by their vision rather than just by their popularity and light bulbs.
Richard Evans, Huntingdon, Cambs
Brilliant idea. He should go for it
berni rose, london, uk
I think John Major was a very effective and honest prime minister.
I rember Bllairs 1997 campaign song "things can only get better"well for the past ten years ive been singing "im still waiting" But now things have got so bad they will only get worse.
Just look at immigration and pensions,council tax,and this war.
So go for it John and lets get rid of old red Ken.
He's got more faces than the market clock as we say in
Shrewsbury.
Ken Mills, Shrewsbury, Shropshire
Come off it! John Major led the conservatives into electoral oblivion so would be perceived as a loser. You say he is happy (good) and he has retired gracefully (unlike Ted Heath and Maggie Thatcher) so leave him be.
Chris, Sutton Coldfield,
Matthew Parris must think we have short memories. John "Black Wednesday and Back to Basics" Major was the most ludicrous occupant of 10 Downing Street in decades, so much so that he led his party to its worst defeat at the polls in over 100 years. To even entertain the notion that this preposterous pooterish personage should be put in charge of London shows just how out of touch with reality Matthew Parris is.
K Philips, London, UK
In my view he is the perfect candidate as Mr Parris eloquently argues. A more diametric contrast to Red Ken would be hard to imagine. Such contrast is always deliciously tempting in itself when it comes to an election. Additionally John Majors CV and background do add up to a formidably strong job application. I hope he stands.
Andy Jones, Cheltenham, UK
Bravo Matthew!
Allan Lee, London, UK
Well Matthew that was a powerful conclusion you made at the end of your comment, but what would you say if I told you that after Winston Churchill finally retired as PM he became the first ever honorary citizen of the United States; and he turned down an offer of Dukedom from the Crown; and he still continued to serve his country in the House for a time. Would not you say that this man accomplished things of interest after retirement as PM?
Barry K. Berkson, Albuquerque, NM USA
Brilliant idea. He should go for it
berni rose, london, uk
Come off it! John Major led the Tories into electoral oblivion and would be perceived as a loser. You say he's happy now (good) and he has retired well (unlike Ted and Maggie). Leave him be.
Chris, Sutton Coldfield,
John who? I remember some "trustworthy gentleman" called John who had an affair with some women politician whose name escapes me - surely you can't mean that guy?
Al, Weybridge,
most of us UK citizens are still waiting for an mp to do
something worthwhile when still in downing street
how about outlawing junk mail or binge drinking or
campaigning for more public toilets need any more help
give me a call.hundreds of ideas and PS leave the lords alone they still seem to have some common sense
george william taylor, hull, uk
Major for Mayor...has something to it. Even though he won't have a national role, he'd be an welcome contrast to the current lot in government who started off singing "things can only get better" and have now given us the feeling that things can't get any worse (i.e. illegal war in Iraq, dodgy dossiers, stealth tax after tax, billions blown away in spending and still problems in the NHS). JM didn't have the greatest record in government and I remember him most clearly for the utter mess that resulted from going into the ERM, in which he was a main player. However, like most, I feel he's decent and I can basically trust him. After years of TB/GB et al, I now look immediately for the catch in whatever they say. JM's character could be just the thing for the issues that need tackling today.
John, Birmingham, UK
No Matthew, how could we contradict you? This is because, few British prime ministers in history ever did anything seriously worthwhile, or interesting, while they were actually in office. Unless, that is, one wants to consider Tony Blair's amazing ability to imitate a poodle; and a rather frightened one at that.
Marc, St. Barthelemy, France
You know, I like the idea of recycling former leaders....how about we support Bush for mayor of Plains, Texas, or, better yet, Basra, Iraq?
Jeb Fulham, Centerville, Massachusetts
Having campaigned against the office of Mayor, John Major would be admirably suited to promise to abolish it if elected. Then he could return to his cricket without worrying about his light-bulbs. And what's more, so could the rest of us.
Philippa Pirie, london, england
Right on. But if Sir John won't stand - what about Matthew Parris?
Noel Falconer, COUIZA, France
There are two strategies for a Conservatives at the Mayoral election: either have a competent local candidate who will pick up the 'anyone but Ken' vote without offending the populus (which was Steve Norris's problem); or go for a big hitter with instant name recognition.
If the former approach then a London assembly member like Richard Barnes fits the bill perfectly. If the latter then not John Major but the most popular Tory politician of the last decade, Ken Clarke. Mr Clarke is about the same age as Livingstone; that he is not a Londoner won't bother Londoners (we attract the best and the brightest from around the world to work here so why not a Nottingham MP as Mayor?) and it would give him the challenge that he has said being in the shadow Cabinet would no longer offer.
Cary, London, England
"no British prime minister in history has ever done anything seriously worthwhile or interesting after leaving Downing Street."
This isn't quite true. Until the mid-20th Century it was fairly common for them to serve under their successors - Balfour, booted out of No.10 in 1905, was Foreign Secretary under Lloyd George over a decade later, and carried on serving in cabinets until 1929. More recently, Douglas-Home (I note you leave him out of your list back to Macmillan) was Foreign Sec to Heath - and was more effective in that job than he had previously been as PM.
In fact, Blair has more chance to do something "worthwhile or interesting" after No.10 than most ex-PMs, given that he's still very young. Maybe HE could be Tory candidate for Mayor?
Remember Enoch Powell: "All political careers end in failure". Now, name me one PM in history who's ever broken THAT rule?
Nigel, London, UK
Isn't the problem that this was canvassed before? He refused to be considered for a number of reasons, prominent among them being that he had fought and lost an election in which he had campaigned against the creation of the office and felt he would look ridiculous. I doubt he'd relish having the comments quoted back at him
Jimmy Sands, Provo,
Yes, a brilliant idea. The first Tory name I've heard put forward with a chance of doing well. Sir John's a Londoner, as Matthew says, and a South Londoner to boot. Maybe he'll do something for us out in the southern sticks at last. Let's face it, most of the noteworthy developments take place north of the river - landmark buildings, the Olympic site, Crossrail (if it ever goes ahead), the new Eurostar terminal, etc. Sir John might secure the much-debated extension to the one great asset we do have - our tram system. At the same time he's sensible enough not to unscramble, just to make a political point, the improvements Ken Livingstone has made, such as those to the bus network.
Barry, Wallington, UK
I am quite drawn to this idea, but must pick up on a point of detail. After leaving Downing Street, Alec Douglas-Hume subsequently served as Foreign Secretary for Heath. I hope Matthew Parris would agree that is seriously worthwhile and perhaps even interesting.
antifrank, London, UK
Didn't Sir Alec Douglas-Home become Foreign Secretary after he left No 10?
G R F Souter, Helsinki, Finland
I must say, I think your first sentence is a bit sweeping there Matthew. Are you sure it's because they're black that it wasn't reported or just because they're not British? Personally I had no idea whether the missing British Embassy staff were black, white or whatever. It's just the usual media focus on any British involvement in world events, surely?
Anyway. Is it so wrong that I miss Steve Norris? I always thought he was rather handsome and charming in a Bill Clintonish kind of way.
And that, of course is what I look for in a potential Mayoral candidate.
Gwen, London,
I'd prefer him back as Prime Minister.
David Turner, Leeds, West Yorkshire
Surely, leaving office was the single most worthwhile thing Thatcher ever did?
Jeremy Hunt, Doha, Qatar
John Major for London Mayor?
I'm not a Londoner but what a sensible and inspired choice. C'mon Dave, bite the bullet and ask him. No, beg him.
michael murphy, brightlingsea, england
Matthew Parris your idea is a stroke of pure genius, Sir John Major would be perfect, Well done!
Dyke would have been an absolute disaster how could anyone take him seriously. What the torys were thinking I really dont know!
D case, Newquay, UK
London is, of course, ill-served by 'Che' Livingstone but why inflict the worst Prime Minister since Chamberlain on the long-suffering Londoner as an alternative?
Michael Huntsman, Kettering,
Recycling John Major whilst a splendid idea in itself could raise the prospect of Tony Blair at some stage playing Ken Livingstone to Gordon Brown's Tony Blair - oops hush my mouth - he already is. If Matthew listens carefully - somewhere in Huntingdon he will hear the faint but resolute sound of Norma scoring his name from the Major's Chrismas Card List.
Bob Robinson, Preston, Lancashire
Will Matthew PArris require any candidtae to be an atheist? :)
David Grieve, Teesdale, Co. Durham
A refined, intelligent gentleman as London Mayor? What a great idea!! But does today's London deserve him, and his equally accomplished wife, Norma?
Bill, Suzhou, China
There is a better alternative to Ken Livingstone - abolish his utterly superfluous office.
Kevin, London,
You have to be joking!
We want to see the back of Livingstoneand his cronies, not have his positioned strengthened.
Someone resolute will be needed.
Frank. H, London,
Quite right. Excellent idea. I always had a lot of time for John Major. A decent man at the head of a self destructing party he never really stood a chance. Yet he always behaved with remarkable restraint and diplomacy and was, in his own quiet way a very effective politician. The worst they ever said about him was that he was a little grey, a little dull, maybe a little too nice. That seems quite appealing after ten years of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. London could do a lot worse. Do it John, show us all what we've been missing.
Paul Owen, Birmingham, UK