Matthew Parris
Star musicians and your favourite Times writers at the Albert Hall
Two untruths, one trivial, one large, were both thrown casually out by the Prime Minister in his speech to the TUC on Tuesday. I’ll start with the smaller: a sneaky little fib and hardly worth rebutting, but revealing of character because it was something Gordon Brown certainly knew to be untrue, didn’t need to say, but said anyway just to purchase some minuscule and momentary advantage for himself. In words cut from the text distributed to the media, but which I heard him deliver, he said this: “The current Conservative leader was the principal economic adviser to the Chancellor of Black Wednesday and he stood alongside Norman Lamont . . .”
David Cameron was not, of course, the principal economic adviser to the Chancellor of the Exchequer. He wasn’t an economic adviser at all. He was a special adviser; there were scores of them; still are. They don’t count for diddly-squat, many are barely out of university, their opinions on big economic decisions are neither relied upon nor, in most cases, even sought, and Mr Cameron, as it happens, was 26, an age at which the young Gordon Brown was still railing against Margaret Thatcher’s legacy.
Nice, however, to see him paying homage to her on Thursday.
Anyway, just make a note and file it away: an illustration of how carelessly Mr Brown twists when it doesn’t matter.
Append, though, the question how carelessly he might twist when it does matter, because here’s a bigger if more arcane departure from the truth, ten seconds later in the same speech: “It is because we must never return again to those days when reckless promises that you could simultaneously cut taxes, raise spending and cut borrowing were made . . .”
But you often can cut taxes, raise spending and cut borrowing. Indeed, as Chancellor the present Prime Minister repeatedly boasted that he was doing something like this (though the claim he was holding down taxes was another fib). During times of strong economic growth it is usually possible to spend more, redeem debt and cut taxes. There being more economic activity overall, the tax yield can rise even though tax rates have been reduced. The Exchequer takes a slightly smaller slice of a bigger cake: ergo, more cake for everyone, including him. And a cut in tax rates plus extra public spending may further boost economic activity, creating for a while a virtuous circle. It is the hope of every Chancellor to preside over such a period. In recent decades a number have.
Even I know this. The former Chancellor certainly knows it. He must have been trading on the belief that the trade union brothers didn’t know it, or, if they did, weren’t scrutinising his speech for technical howlers. He made the careless claim not as a serious argument, but as part of a background mood-music he was busy creating: you know the stuff – “Iron Chancellor”, “son of the Manse”, “sorry, lads, no more money” etc. Few were likely to bother to pick that speech apart, but I find Mr Brown’s “whatever gets you through the night” approach to fact and reason disturbing: strangely redolent of his predecessor at Downing Street. Alastair Campbell’s diaries breathe it from cover to cover.
And it leads me to wider pasture. Pace the Prime Minister, it is, as I say, common to be able to cut tax, redeem debt and increase spending. Dangerous, of course, to bank on doing so and irresponsible to promise it; no politician can forecast; and in the present climate it would be unwise to construct any kind of a manifesto upon such hopes. But sooner or later it is likely that the UK economy will be revisited by these benign circumstances.
And when they arrive, what I’d like to know is this: how, in government, would each of our mainstream political parties handle the good fortune? I don’t accept the platitude that only when times are tough do the tough get going. Neither life nor politics is only or mainly about failure and vicissitude. We are revealed also by how we handle success. Indeed, when governing parties of all colours must batten down hatches and weather storms, their habits and plans tend to converge. It is when a team in office have money in the Treasury coffers, credit in press, peace at home and abroad and a comfortable lead in the polls that their true colours may emerge. Now they can do whatever it is they came into politics for. Uncramped by crisis, they can unfold their wings and fly. A philosophy can take shape.
So we are revealed, I think, as much by our daydreams as our nightmares. What are Gordon Brown’s? What might Sir Menzies Campbell’s be? What do Cameron Conservatives dream of being able to do? Ever since an incoming Labour administration in 1997 had to promise not to touch their predecessors’ spending limits, the dreary cry of “Ah, but how would you pay for it?” has stunted political debate in Britain. The moment a party leader raises the prospect of doing something novel or interesting, his rivals punch figures into economic models, print results and shriek: “Gaffe! Black hole!” The Conservative Party seems fearful of breathing a word about anything to which the tag “new Tory spending commitment” might be attached by a gleeful government front bench.
Understandably. Any promise of new spending may seem to raise the spectre of a corresponding cut. But even when times are tight the public finances are far from a neat balance sheet on which a push here requires a pull there. Governments regularly embark on initiatives for which funds have not been earmarked. With a prod and a squeeze, the money is found.
The Opposition are wise to steer clear of manifesto promises. But should this sterilise all talk of their hopes? What law of political campaigning forbids opposition leaders, or indeed prime ministers, from sharing their what-ifs, their more optimistic scenarios, their dreams? How about a Green Paper manifesto in the appendix to the real thing? Crossrail for London? A 200mph spinal railway to Scotland? A road-tunnel from Stranraer to Belfast? A multibillion-pound blitz on green self-sufficiency in energy? Free buses in congested cities? A huge salary bribe to draw the cream of the teaching profession into struggling inner-city schools? A new Royal Yacht? A no-expense-spared programme to crack open and rescue the underclass? A real leg-up for the cash-starved postgraduate sector in our universities? A new national park? Four more national forests? A raising of the tax threshold to £10,000? A golden age of prison education?
Each leader will have his own ideas, and though some aims will be common to all, when it comes to priorities you may find the geographies of their dreamlands recognisably different. This matters. It tells us where they will head when, uncaged by accountancy, they can. Nobody’s going anywhere much today, tomorrow, or perhaps at the next election. But after that, who knows? I want to.

Matthew Parris joined The Times as parliamentary sketchwriter in 1988, a role he held until 2001. He had formerly worked for the Foreign Office and been a Conservative MP from 1979-86. He has published many books on travel and politics and an autobiography, Chance Witness, for which he won the 2004 Orwell Prize. His diary appears in The Times on Thursdays, and his Opinion column on Saturdays
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Interesting way of looking at things! Dreams instead of nightmares. It's making me think about what we might do in Medway Council if we were ever to get a fair settlement. one of these years...
You mention a Black Hole, but here in Medway we devised the term "Brown Hole" for that ten-year Chancellorship -- similar to the black one, but this variety just sucks in money and similar resources while giving virtually nothing (of value) back.
John Ward, Medway,
It is exceptionally sad that the Tories have been so stymied by the spectre of a "black hole" accusation, but it is a potent political weapon. The Tories have a talented media machine though - how can they not have come up with a way around it? I certainly agree that Cameron should publish his hopes and dreams should benign economic circumstances allow. My fear is that Cameron, if challenged in a debate for his political dreams, would be stumped. Does he truly believe in anything? Regardless, I think this stifling of political ambition, the failure to inspire the electorate with grand hopes and aspirations, is disastrous and explains why few people move in to politics today because they have core beliefs. Most are simply professional politicians who find a safe seat through party contacts and believe only in the desirability of a life in the Commons.
Christopher Price, London, UK
Can we have a new Esatblishment, please? This one is broken. I have never witnessed such a dysfunctional government as the current one. But now, whether under Tony Blair or Gordon Brown, nothing works. Whereas Great Britain (once it was great) ruled vast India with a relative handful of civil servants, now we have one crisis after another on our tiny island. Farm payments, trainee doctors, foot-and-mouth, tax credit repayments, a major banking crisis, foot-and-mouth again, abysmally poor educational results for many school-leavers, penny-pinching to save money for the ridiculously expensive 2012 Olympics, and... and... Well, it's just too depressing to list any others. Many people have given up on Britain and are leaving in numbers. And still the general public refuses to budge and will probably vote yet again for the current bunch of incompetents. Why not say this, Matthew Parris? Why the kid gloves? Why not say the situation is dire when it obviously is? We need a change!
Mike Mitchell, Spalding, England
Gordon Brown dreams of being remembered in the league of Prime Ministers who made a difference. Why else would the camera-shy Gordon wish to invite Lady Thatcher to tea, who although a committed politician like himself, he strongly opposed during her term in office? The Tories condemned him for taking advantage of an old lady, but Gordon does not work that way. It was a case of the Iron Chancellor meeting the Iron Lady and a photo opportunity for posterity. He also wished to thank her for bringing his former colleagues to heal, thus allowing him to lecture them earlier in the week at the TUC conference on their fiscal responsibilities, not just to their members, but to the nation.
His are the dreams, some say fantasies, of a country of world class public services, but first he must get the co-operation of the City, not a problem, and the more difficult Brothers he abandoned. Not for them tea at no.10, not even long forgotten beer and sandwiches. Dream on Gordon, dream on.
M. Fishman, London,
You can say what you like Matthew,but I tell you as a "gut instinct" working class Tory whose nearest to "power & influence" was as a Corporal in the Army.
A no nonsense Scot will always get my vote.
Peter Bolt, Redditch, UK
So much for the end of spin. In his own way, Gordon's PR is even more flash.
Margaux, Crouch End ,
I do too. But even more, I would like to see a wish list with some synergy and integration, rather than an unrelated collection of ideas. Something less than an ideology, something more than a collection.
PC, Toronto, Canada
A very interesting article - thank you. But a pity all those dreams are predicated on having spare cash. Many dreams don't cost money, just will power. The underclass won't be rescued by having money thrown at them - they've had that already. Free housing, free education, free health care, free money. In the welfare area, saying no is more important and more likely to get people to take responsibility for themselves - the only reform that will work.
Mike, Midsomer Norton, UK
Dear Matthew
As usual your article is hilarious and brilliant - you dont have a spare brother do you - who could come and stir up the political waves in Edinburgh..? I noticed - as it is one of my repeated cries that always fall on well protected if not sealed and very clogged ears that you said .....What if.... the PM or any prospective PM seriously commited to raising the income tax threshold!!!!
Did you know that if I was on Benefits (housing ) plus pension Credit .. which adds up to £11,500 ..that this gift from the tax payer is TAX FREE....... No... I didnt think you would know this.
I am not on benefits and (thanks to selling my flat - which I now cannot afford to replace as proces have gone sky high) ,,to repeat I earn less than £11,500 but over £7200 approx I now pay not 10% but 20% thanks to GB
Why should those on benefits benefit further froim a Tax Free life while those of us who are not in that bracket pay up...? Please rant for us...
Trish Niblock, Edinburgh, Midlothian
Matthew, you under-rate Gordon Brown; it's a serious error.
He uses his words carefully. What you thought - were meant to think - he said was erroneous, but the words he used were correct and defensible. It is NOT, not ever, 'possible to spend more, redeem debt and cut taxes'. What can sometimes be combined is spending more, redeeming debt and cutting tax RATES - but that wasn't what GB abjured.
Get your guard up. This man is dangerous.
Noel Falconer, COUIZA, France
"we must never return again to those days when reckless promises that you could simultaneously cut taxes, raise spending and cut borrowing were made"
The clue, Matthew, is in the words. He does not suggest that the such a promise should never be made, only that it should not be made in circumstances where it would be a reckless promise. We can hardly criticise hin for saying that, can we?
Mike Poulsen, Reading, Berkshire
Mr Parris's detection of Mr Brown's predeliction for Plato's "noble lie" is a little late. Mr Brown is very much in the tradition of the spinmeister Campbell and a co-regent with Tony Blair of the royal fib, as many of us have pointed out for some time. Perhaps Brown's most rebarbative tale to date, however, is his ripping-up of the Labour manifesto promise for a vote on the rejigged EU constiution? This son of the manse should ponder Pilate's question: What is truth? He may well be surprised by the answer that politicians who excel in "fibbing" usually end up as Alibaba ambassadors to the Middle East, like his co-conman TB. That said, I have just endured two weeks of electioneering here in Athens and am glad the vote is tomorrow. Brown's "noble lies" are but children's nursery rhymes compared to the myths peddled by his co-professionals here in Greece. No doubt it is the EU and the Brits in particular who will be asked to support the myth pedlars financially over the next 4 years.
Dr David Green, Athens, Greece
A riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, that is Matthew Parris. Gordon Brown is just what you see, a man renowned for intriguing against Tony Blair and who now brings that talent to his dealings with the state. A songbird consumed by a viper and then gorged by a hyena. Some leaders have dominated Whitehall, some have given it kudos, Mr. Brown haunts it. He is a creature of the roof tops and the dark alley. He is the collective and clearly illustrated summation of what politics has come to, a despicable trade where we seek to refute the opposition through controlled malice and half truth. The Prime Minister is so smug, or delusional, as to allow us all to Kibbutz his activities, he glories in the openness of deceits, it is important to him that we see his mastery of con. Mr Brown uses his position to score points off Cameron while Rome burns. He praises Thatcher while Northern Rock smoulders, our latter day Nero.
Malcolm Turner, Alsager, England
Well said. I always thought that Balir s government of wishful thinking had its policies formulated by an idealistically cynical 14 year old. I had hoped that he d been redeployed in the real world
but politicians have disappointed me yet again.
dh rowlands, cardiff,