Matthew Parris
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Look on the bright side. Steve Morgan, the man who took over the organisation of Peter Hain's campaign for the deputy leadership of the Labour Party, is now in America helping Hillary Clinton in her quest for the Democratic nomination. Aha! Our secret weapon. With any luck he will do as much for Mrs Clinton as he did for Mr Hain.
But to what purpose, now, should we ransack the thesaurus for new invective with which to pour scorn on that fallen Cabinet minister's head? He's gone, and anyway he was finished from the moment figures such as £103,000 began appearing in newspapers alongside words like “innocent”, “oversight” and “overlooked”, while terms such as “think-tank” were conjoined with expressions like “dormant”, “mysterious” and “dud”.
The key question has been said to be: “Did he know?” Well, it's true that compared with whodunnits, whoknewits stay interesting for longer, on account of the extreme unlikelihood of their ever being resolved. Having no window into Mr Hain's soul, we can find endless entertainment speculating on what might be there. But that's all gossip. The question of whether the rules were broken is different. Here, the precise mental state of Mr Hain, vis-à-vis the undisclosed £103,000 is something toward which we should be resolutely indifferent.
We are perhaps entitled to a mild and passing human curiosity as to how it was that such enormous sums had never apparently crossed the radar of the man for whose benefit they had been raised. And kindly old souls like that elderly South African diamond dealer who gave £5,000 and lent another £25,000, and the munificent if controversial businessman who chipped in with £10,000 more, may be forgiven a little private sorrow that the ultimate beneficiary of their sudden impulse to fund a phantom think-tank would apparently never even have known who had rescued him - never even thanked them - had it not been for the press.
But these are secondary considerations. As secondary as the question whether it is the car-owner's fault or somebody else's that he has not paid his road tax, after the expired disc is spotted: a question in which the police take a stubborn lack of interest, heartless beasts.
Quite right, though. The fact that it will rarely be possible to prove that a motorist intended, or an MP wanted, to break the law, makes it all the more important that the intentions of the accused are discounted. Otherwise everybody would always plead ignorance.
In this case the law will take its course. In my own breast I cannot arouse much personal antipathy towards Mr Hain, a gutsy individual whose intelligence was plain, whose vanity was harmless, whose ambition was hopeless, and whose insolence was rather sweet. If he was complicit in covering anything up then it's likely the motive was embarrassment rather than gain. Politicians who flatter journalists, as Mr Hain was always careful to do, get a kinder ride in times of trouble; and, besides, I suspect he always liked us journalists better than he liked his own tribe: a mark, at least, of good taste.
But if there is a charge to lay at Mr Hain's door, it is surely this. It was very selfish of him to resign. He should have challenged Gordon Brown to sack him, thus offering Mr Brown a chance to do what would have been the first decisive thing he's done since entering Downing Street.
Because - for all that the referral of the Hain case to the police is being called “critical” by the media - nothing really happened before lunch last Thursday: nothing to make an assessment of Mr Hain's suitability for office any different by dusk from what had been at dawn. Mr Brown did not know an iota more when he pronounced the resignation “the right and honourable thing to do” this week than when he had declared his complete confidence in his minister after the story first broke.
Mr Brown could at any time have called Mr Hain into his office and asked him privately to explain himself, his dud think-tank, and that £103,000 missing from the declaration. If satisfied with the explanation he could have stuck by him. If not he could have asked him to step down until the matter had been resolved. It didn't need an Electoral Commission, or a parliamentary commissioner, or a reference to the police. It needed the Prime Minister's own judgment. Instead, Mr Brown seems to be franchising his moral compass out to external contractors.
We do not even have the Electoral Commission's findings yet; and not only do we still lack the verdict of a court of law (should Mr Hain be prosecuted) we do not even know whether the police will push this through to a referral to the Director of Public Prosecutions. If we accept the Prime Minister's earlier protest that it would be wrong to prejudge Mr Hain while inquiries are proceeding, then Mr Brown should still be backing him.
Oh, hang the logic. Come on, Gordon, admit the truth: you did not have complete confidence in Mr Hain, you never cared for him much anyway, you hated all that “donor-gate” stuff, but when it came to giving this minister the chop you funked it, hoping events might fashion a peg on which to hang his removal: a peg other than your own decision. In particular you didn't want to appear as having yielded to external pressure.
This combination of stubbornness and vacillation is getting to look really creepy. Here is a chicken that flaps into the middle of the road, half thinks better of it, then, paralysed by a kind of furious vexation, stands his ground in the face of the oncoming truck. Winston Churchill once described Stanley Baldwin's Cabinet as “resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity and all powerful for impotence”. Speaking at the Mansion House in 2004, Mr Brown, then Chancellor, quoted the remark. Interesting that it had impressed itself on his mind. I remember thinking at the time that this insight went a mite close to home.
When (talking to The Times this week) David Cameron made a passing reference to “that strange man in Downing Street” my immediate thought was that the Opposition Leader had polished up the soundbite in advance - and I wondered if it was clever or foolish to coin a cruel but perhaps ungentlemanly slight. But on re-examining the context (and re-examining the figure cut by this Prime Minister) I rather think Mr Cameron said it spontaneously. “The trouble with Margaret,” they used to say of another Tory leader, “is that when she speaks without thinking she says what she thinks.” I suspect that “that strange man in Downing Street” was blurted out, and is what Mr Cameron actually thinks.
There is a grave danger that it is what Britain may be coming to think too. Perhaps I was wrong to chide Mr Hain for depriving Mr Brown of the chance to sack him. Eyeball to eyeball, with Mr Hain refusing to go, I have an awful suspicion that Mr Brown might just have blinked.

Matthew Parris joined The Times as parliamentary sketchwriter in 1988, a role he held until 2001. He had formerly worked for the Foreign Office and been a Conservative MP from 1979-86. He has published many books on travel and politics and an autobiography, Chance Witness, for which he won the 2004 Orwell Prize. His diary appears in The Times on Thursdays, and his Opinion column on Saturdays
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"We do not know if the police will push this through to a referral
by the Director of Public Prosecutions". Silly me, when I first read the article I thought you said "refusal". On second thoughts, given the marked reluctance of the CPS to prosecute New labour wrongdoers, perhaps I had it right the first time.
Brian Carroll, Hong Kong, China
As a man than spent much more than his opponents and came fifth out of six, then criticised his campaign manager, who he appointed, for letting him down, he did nor show terribly good judgment.
How is he qualified to lead a major ministry
K Wells, Bognor Regis, England
Times have changed. As you observe, Churchill said of Baldwin s Cabinet. The days of cabinet government seem to have gone, as an average journalist savages the Prime Minister on a fairly minor administrative point. You don t seem to be concerned about your own misjudgement in this case, since firstly you don t know what Gordon Brown may have known about the matter nor why he may have found it convenient to accept Peter Hain s resignation. You do make it obvious you want Mr Brown to go rather than Mr Hain, but you generally weaken your position in that context by making so much of an issue of what may prove amenable to explanation but which doesn t reflect adversely on the Prime Minister.
Henry Percy, London, UK
these so called conviction politicians require convicting, in a court of law.
rod dull, kettering,
Matthew should ask the people and politicians of Northern Ireland if they would agree with his Hain valedictory! From what I can read in the local papers there, there's been a huge sigh of relief that the bounder has been finally found out. He always wore his conscience on his sleeve and attracted the intellectual offspring of the Lumpenproletariat to his witless campaigns. His last compaign for the deputy leadership of the Labour party was very much in the Hain tradition of haplessness. People often ask where he acquired his permatan? As his wife informed us, he used to spend his weeksend at Hillsborough Castle in the Queen's residence near Belfast sunning himself. Since that was rare in itself you can understand why he was know as the part-time secretary of state. For once, Brown has boxed cleverly. He knew that if he had sacked Hain up front, Hain would have once again worn his conscience on his sleeve and ensured the prime minister would have become the cynosure of cynicism. Pain!
Dr David Green, Athens, Greece
Love the chicken vision thing
dr Smith, london,
Now perhaps he can move back to South Africa to sort out the bloody mess that he helped to make. Plenty of cricket pitches there.
B J Deller, Marbella, Spain
Poor old Brown, he got the job he always wanted but too late in the day. Not only that but his novelty has worn off after a few months. The Labour party, though, retains a hardcore of support, suprisingly from the neo-socialist left and the neo-liberals (those whose cause has been promoted by Labour such as the the Audit Commission, NAO, Civil Service). Cameron still needs to work hard to get to grips with the unhappy who voted for Blair in 1997, but have since abandoned him.
DGD, London, UK
blinked? doubt if he'd matched the gaze. bullies always fall when faced with strength.
Phil Barnes, preston , england
For a conviction politician, I'm not seeing much conviction. I can just imagine Tony Blair rubbing his hands with glee somewhere at the disasters unfolding for GB. Quite frankly, it's an embarrassment. When a man cannot lead his own party properly, how can we expect him to make tough and difficult decisions for the country? Northern Rock was the same dithering we've seen here. The supposed "control freak" now has all the control but doesn't know what to do with it. Oh, the irony.
Amber, Stevenage,
If Brown has a moral compass, it is surrounded by magnets -
his own party.
A Walton, Leicester, England
Brown is not elected by party or country, he is a squatter in Number 10. We should ignore him until he concedes a referendum or goes away.
John Ledbury, Kings Lynn, England
Brown knows the game is up. He's just hanging on until the final whistle blows at the last minute on the last day on which he is still on his feet pretending to score goals.
Judith C, London,
The coming recession is going to break the political mould of Nu Labour and this country and with it Mr Brown.
Donald Last, Worthing, UK
Correct on all points, Matthew.
Nothing changed when the matter was referred to the police. A murder does not become more serious when the body is found and an investigation starts. Hain admitted breaking the law from the outset and that should have been good enough for Brown to say 'go'.
As it is, Brown has once again shown that he is unable to correctly interpret the facts and act promptly. His is a ditherer.
MarkS, Leeds,
'Predict the future...'?
No Matthew, your clarity of vision surely deems you much more gifted as PM. Consultant, Spin Doctor and PR. Rectifier-of-Mistakes you wouldn't have to proof anything you wrote!
The reading public salutes you for being so spot-on.
Jul, manchester, UK.
Superb summary. As BR Parson's rightly says, spot on.
Ross, Ripon, UK
Does the PM really have any 'moral compass'? If he has, it's well hidden.
Lezl, London, UK
Perfect. Brilliant. Spot on. I do not think that I have read a better summing up of an idvidual than this. I just wish that Matthew had beeen able to predict the future whilst in this train of thought.
BR Parsons, Lydney, Gloucestershire