“ELIZABETH II by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of our other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith: TO ALL TO WHOM THESE PRESENTS SHALL COME, GREETING!

“WHEREAS The Institute of Public Relations (hereinafter called “the existing Institute”), incorporated under the Companies Act in the . . . ”

Poor old girl. The stuff she has to sign. Yes folks, this week the Chartered Institute of Public Relations was born. The former IPR has achieved what it has been hammering on the Privy Council’s door for since 1951: a royal charter. There is as yet no Chartered Institute of Call Girls, Rent Boys and Dodgy Masseurs, but be patient ye whores of Babylon, your royal day will come. Who knows, even column-writing may seek the legitimising balm of a royal signature.

Taking a kick at PR and PRs has become a traditional sport, but it cannot be a bad thing that what we shall now have to call a “profession” should take this step. The very existence of an institute shows that its 8,000 members want the world to distinguish between practitioners who do, and those who do not, accept professional disciplines. We should cheer when people want to be more accountable.

At the centre of this must be a code of conduct, and of course the CIPR has one. From an outsider’s point of view it is open to an obvious criticism. Almost all its long and meticulous list of rules and best practice relates to how members should treat each other and their clients.

The public gets only a limited look-in. We are mentioned in rather vague terms: members are to work “in the public interest” and “deal honestly and fairly in business with employers, employees, clients, fellow professionals, other professions and the public”.

Hmm. Did you spot the curious little phrase “in business with”? If that well-known consultancy Burnish, Best Gloss & Spin takes on Beelzebub Inc as clients, and works hard to improve the image of its chief executive, Mr Lucifer, are they “in business” with the public, or just with Mr Lucifer?

From time to time the code does insist on on transparency. Unfortunately this is only as regards colleagues and clients. Do not (in other words) promise the client too much. Do not misrepresent yourself — to the client. A suspicious mind might see two business interests, the PR and his corporate client, undertaking to work together honestly and fairly in their shared endeavour: diddling the rest of us.

Still, let us take refuge in the general exhortation upon members to: “maintain the highest standards of professional endeavour, integrity, confidentiality, financial propriety and personal conduct,” and trust that this includes all of us in its protection. The code’s reference to an “honest and responsible regard for the public interest” gives grounds for hope, if not confidence.

There is one field, however, in which we might as well despair. The CIPR is calling upon all those in political parties who work in image-management to adhere to the spirit of the institute’s code, even if they are not members. From the airless basements of Labour, Tory and Liberal Democrat HQs, can you hear the hollow laugh? With a general election hurtling towards us, the institute is spitting into the wind.

A political party is not a potato crisp. To supporters a political party is fighting for Good against Evil. To its enemies it is Satan’s army. Both sides agree that their battle is for truth and justice as they see it. A crisp, however, is a crisp: marginally superior (or not, depending on the company you work for) to the competition. Truth and justice do not come into it.

This difference produces the most remarkable effect. It is perverse. In the cause of a humble crisp, people can be bound by the rules of fair play. In the cause of truth and justice people feel entitled to lie and cheat. Nobody cuts ethical corners like a man who thinks God is on his side. In our present Prime Minister we have a living example of this. Tony Blair combines the roles of pilgrim-in-progress (forward not back), and playground cheat.

The Conservative Party, which sees its appointed place in history as bastion against the destruction of all that our nation holds dear, finds no contradiction in sidestepping old-fashioned principles to confront the neosocialist barbarians at the nation’s gate.

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