Attend an evening with Andre Agassi
I’VE BEEN MAKING a radio series about departed heroes. I choose the living and
my studio guest chooses the dead. And the most mysterious of our ghostly
invitees has been an obscure 19th-century Hungarian doctor, Ignác
Semmelweis, patron saint of “now wash your hands”. Frances Cairncross,
president of the British Society for the Advancement of Science, chose him.
Her hero, practising in the maternity wards of a Viennese teaching hospital,
hit upon the cause of the deaths from “childbed fever” of hundreds of
thousands of postnatal mothers across Europe and America. Simple observation
told him they were killed by their doctors, who carried the infection on
their hands from one woman in labour to another. When doctors washed their
hands between patients, deaths plummeted. It was that simple.
But a conservative medical profession refused to accept they could be killing
women. Semmelweis lashed out at his colleagues as murderers. He was shunned.
He died in a lunatic asylum. It was years before his theory took hold, yet
the truth had been staring his era in the face.
Making the programme, I started to wonder what obvious truths stare our own
era in the face. Every generation tumbles to something their grandfathers
just couldn’t see, and exclaimed: “Surely it was obvious?” Could ours be the
first age to overlook nothing? Or what no-brainer might be staring us
in the face?

I DO HAVE one candidate, though rather trivial. In 1996 I wrote a weekly
humorous column on these pages. Returning from an expedition where we could
hardly wash for weeks, I reported that my hair had become progressively
greasier, and then — to my surprise — begun to get less
greasy again. I recorded my hunch that it might not be necessary to wash
your hair with shampoo, soap or any kind of de-greasant. Pointing out that
cats and monkeys never use shampoo yet do not seem to suffer from oily fur,
I suggested that if humans, too, stopped stripping our hair of natural oils,
our scalps might stop pumping them out. I promised readers I would try this.
Maybe they thought I was joking.
Today, after ten years of washing my hair with fresh, warm water alone — ten
years during which no kind of de-greasant has touched my scalp — I can
report back. Readers, if only you could all run your fingers through my
hair: as light and fluffy as a kitten’s coat. And (to answer your unspoken
question) not at all smelly — snuffle your noses in it, do — because I rinse
my hair daily under the shower. Do you soap up your kneecaps every day? No.
Are they oily or smelly? I doubt it. Exposed to light and air, human skin
and hair find their own balance, the oil-glands secreting just enough to
protect. It is our habit of stripping this viciously from our scalps that
panics the glands into overproduction — that is why your first few weeks
will be an uncomfortably greasy time. But persist, and you’ll come out the
other side with less dandruff than when you were shampooing, and less greasy
hair than the second day after you quit.
Think of the money, think of the pollution, our nation could save. No wonder everyone’s going bald. One day I shall be hailed as a lonely prophet of the nonsense of shampoo.

AND HERE’s another lonely prophet who noticed the blindingly obvious: the late
Sir Robin Day, then aged 31 and a junior radio producer, writing a memo to
BBC senior management in 1955 suggesting that at breakfast the Home and
Light Services should offer more than light music, No, No, Nanette and
readings from Ezekiel. “I therefore suggest a new daily morning programme .
. . [giving] intelligent, pithy comment . . . on things people may not yet
have read about in their morning papers.” Day concluded that if his proposal
was adopted, “I am sure we would look back to the present morning programmes
with the same incredulity with which we now regard pre-1939 days when there
was nothing, not even a news bulletin, until mid-morning”.
The whippersnapper’s idea got short shrift from the Controller of the Home
Service. He doubted there was any “public demand for this sort of thing in
the morning”, and turned it down flat. Later the Today
programme was born. It was staring them in the face — wasn’t it?
Matthew Parris joined The Times as parliamentary sketchwriter in 1988, a role he held until 2001. He had formerly worked for the Foreign Office and been a Conservative MP from 1979-86. He has published many books on travel and politics and an autobiography, Chance Witness. In 2005 he won the Orwell Prize for Journalism. His diary appears in The Times on Thursdays, and his Opinion column on Saturdays
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