Housing is one of the most important products of modern day, it can make you feel happy of sad in many different ways, it brings families together and can push them apart, yet we still progress to make them smaller and smaller, what’s wrong with us today we have the safest houses probably in the world but also some of the worst built even with current building regulations they are still very low spec and poorly built. What are we passing on to our children is criminal compared to what our grandfathers past on to us.

Karl, Leicester, Leicestershire

And when every square inch of green has been concreted over?

David Fox, Sevenoaks, Kent

we have similar problems in the US. I don't believe the root cause is Mum's who work - it's Mums who don't think about who is fathering their children - and a social atmosphere that rewards illegitmate births. I don't want to go back to the days of the "Scarlet Letter". But ladies, be more discriminating - use birth control and for God's sake, use your head!

Mary Knight, Pittsburgh, Pa, USA

What about supporting dad's who would be happy to stay at home? I am so sick of hearing about 'forcing mothers to go back to work' without their being any consideration that fathers are 'forced' to work equally as much. Are we still so sexist in the 21st century that it's not considered an equal deprivation of attention if the father can't stay at home either? Maybe your times journalists should remove their collective solid iron implement from their posteriors and consider that option

Alex, Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Couldn't agree more with Richard from Edinburgh. Bad parenting starts with a baby in socks in the pushchair in winter.
The true nonsense is piling the blame on young single mothers - in my experience, working middle-class families are often less loving and caring when it comes to kids, desperate to have a spot of the responsibility-free life they grew used to. So the kids get bundled off to nannies, babysitters, etc, so that the parents can go out for a dinner or even a nice short holiday.
It is this explicit acceptance that children are a burden, and it is normal for parents to be wishing to spend time away from them that drives the results of this Unicef report.

Suzy, Cambridge,

Massive tax breaks to stay at home mothers - who is going to pay for these massive tax breaks? It can't be families, because they are the ones who are getting the tax break, so yet again 20-30 year olds with no kids will be forced to subsidise the lifestyle choices of those who are actually better off than them. Great idea.

Will, London,

The bottom line is that children need consistent, one-to-one care over a very long time if they are to grow into well-adjusted adults. Love alone is not enough without TIME - lots of it. Commercial third-party care is far less likely to deliver either than a parent or close relative. Even worse is the growing number of secondary-school children abandoned to their own resources every afternoon.

We need family policies that stand tall - not the tinkering at the margins of employment law that we currently see, reducing family life to a kind of hobby to fit in after work time. No wonder so few people seem to enjoy it.

Too much paid work stresses everyone in the family, squeezes shared time and has been linked to risk of family breakdown. If families want to deploy a parent at home, please, let's make it easier to do so. It shouldn't be discriminated against fiscally or do you out of a decent pension, as is presently the case. Ordinary family life shouldn't be beyond the reach of ordinary families. Many of them aspire to have a parent at home and would jump at the chance to make it happen.

Juliet Chalk, London, UK

The last 4 paragraphs of the article sum the situation and remedies. That's how it was in the early sixties when I, a child from a poor background, was leaving Grammar School to enter the world of skilled work in science and engineering. "Bettering yourself " my father, ex regular Army (Desert Rat in WWII), working class (and proud of both) put it clearly and succinctly. "Bettering yourself" never made me rich, but did give me work I have enjoyed immensely.
We have let all that social attitude/idea of personal responsibility go to the dogs. No, "we" haven't, that is wrong, legions of politicians, lawyers, do-gooders, "liberal thinkers and educators" have taken it away in the name of social enlightenment and progress. They are the ones who have created the situation where feral adults/children believe they have rights but no responsibilities.
Want change? Start worrying: they're outbreeding you! Soon they'll be the key voters in marginal seats. Do turkeys vote for Xmas?

Peter Jones, Caernarfon, Wales

One of the most pernicious policies pursued by local government in the last few decades has been the priority given to teenage unmarried mothers when it comes to allocation of council housing. The Home Office, an institution which gives the impression of having the dismantling of our social structures as its raison d'être, pays far too much attention to lobbying by women's "rights" groups without making responsible provision for the broader social implications of policy.

Gervas Douglas, Auragne, France

I've just taken the bus home and spent a 20 minute journey with a kid yelling its head off and running up and down the aisle of the bus. At one point the child started shouting at another passenger to which its mother eventually said 'darling, would you mind not doing that' and still the kid carried on. I should point out that I am talking about an affluent area of West London and the mother in question didn't give the impression of coming from a sink estate. When did we stop disciplining children or insisting they show consideration for other people?

Mary Falconer, London, England

so should abusive husbands be forced to stay with their wives? I think not.

Angela Snell, Labastide Murat, France

When I visited England for the first time a couple of years ago, someone there said to me "We Brits treat our dogs better than our children." I thought she was making a joke. After reading the report, it's hard to laugh at her statement. Of course things are no better in the US. There are some people who should never be allowed to breed.

Cheryl, Birmingham, USA

Surely this misses the real point somewhat; to criticise a lack of moral responsibility clouds the issue. Why has our society spiralled to the extent that mothers must go to work, and thus neglect their offspring, or live in practical poverty (contrary to popular belief, benefits can't buy a middle class lifestyle)? Minnette Marin nearly gets there; what is needed IS cultural change, but of the much more fundamental sort. Today's society, and increasingly so, drives the population to work overly long hours, for declining real rates of pay, in order to provide the consumer products which fill our TV screens, to the inevitable detriment of families and communities. What freedom is this that our supposedly liberal democratic capitalist societies provide? We are all only unhappy wage slaves, whatever our governments may be telling us.

James Spencer, Leighton Buzzard, England

How this article spoke to me. we are too afraid to say that somethings are 'wrong'. Thank god someone understands me in this country... I wonder if anything will change??

Mel, Wiltshire,

' A general horror of being judgmenta'l? What the hell is political correctness then?

Richard Brown, London, England

The 'thug' on our street, an uncontrolable 13 year old has 2 parents at home. They have never worked, nor have 4 of his 5 older siblings - the one who works, the eldest, was brought up by her grandparents. the next sibling up in age was a mother 2 months after her 16th birthday. She will never worki - she has a council house and decades of benefit in front of her.
The point - if these women were a little more interested in working and a little less interested in staying at home and 'loving' their children we might all feel a little safer.

pawebb, Blyth, England

I work in the business district in a major UK city, and I have noticed women in business clothes pushing prams and buggies at lunchtime and after work. neither the mother or the child ever smiles or looks happy. Also, the mother may be well dressed with tidy hair, but the child is usually underdressed (why do the British not button up their children's coats and make them wear a hat in winter?), has untidy hair, has a nose covered in snot and often has hands that look blue with cold. The mother wears gloves but not the two year old child! The mother needs to take one minute to button up her child's coat, brush his hair and wipe his nose. Bu they are too busy talking to their secretraires on the mobile.

Richard, Edinburgh,

We tried for children. It didn't happen and you know what; I'd say, looking back, that it's no bad thing. If you decide to have kids, do it for the right reasons and do it PROPERLY, but DON'T bitch when the going gets tough. It was your choice and you live with it. As for SHoe of Stratford, I'll just say this: you're "appalled" are you? Well, the next time you see a screaming spoilt BRAT being given EVERYTHING it's little heart desires for fear of being landed in court for deprivation(don't make me laugh) think about it. If more parents DIDN'T beggar themselves to the hilt for their little darlings, we might ALL be better off (less crime, fewer ASBO's etc).

ian dennis, Pulborough, West Sussex

I always found Brits very children-loving
since I first started living the UK in the 80s
and also by observing life as an
Army wife in Germany.
But I agree - affordable housing, having time
and having a spouse or family around you
does make for a better life for everyone
Could be that in Switzerland, the Scandinavian
countries and so on life is even better.
Guess there will always be someone thinking that.
I reckon what needs to change is the
general addiction to wanting lots of things
right now, without effort, and this assumption
that others will sort it out.
And my pet pieve, parents who are happy with
their 16 year old daughter having her baby,
dismissing that she might not be able
to teach her kid an awful lot in later life.

sylvia, berlin, germany

The Government and what I will call for want of a better phrase the social manipulators are quite happy to drum into us that homophobia is wrong, racism is wrong, smoking is wrong, drink driving is wrong.
So why is it so unacceptable to them to continue with another obvious wrong, that articulated so well here, ie that "It is wrong for men to abandon their children. It is wrong for a girl to have a baby without having another parent for it. "
I do believe that the tide is turning at last, in this and several other issues which threaten us.

CA Metcalfe, Essex,

The UNICEF report is garbage. All our major spheres of influence (education, the media, politics) have been dominated by belly-aching liberals for too long, people who have been 'reaching out' and 'identifying' with youngsters, filling their heads with nonsense about how they have rights which are not being met. It could also be that we've become one of the most materialistic societies. Those who put too high a value on material possessions, money, status and fame are doomed to misery.

Eugene, Brno, Czech Republic

The finding of UNICEF's report are startling and portrays a grim and worrying picture of 'Poor parenting habits'. British society is not just isolated, the scenario is equally bleak and God-awful in other nations, like India and sub-continent.The family norms are getting redefined and the strength of a well-knit family roots and traits are getting shattered and scattered.We see nuclear families, DINKs(Double Income No Kids) , DISK(Doub.Inc. Single Kids) syndromes prevailing in the society. Parents are too busy in their porfessional commitments, high-profile jobs, globe-trotting and business travels.They earn more and shower more of wealth and material comforts, but hardly spend quality time, comforting and loving their kids and dear ones.A child grows in the ambience of isolation and loneliness.The young and fostering years of solitude leaves behind impressions or shadows on their tender minds.In Metros,"latch-key child" syndrome is prevalent.We're solely responsible for such a neglect

Sandy, New Delhi, India

I would agree that the British are not fond of children. My two children were born in Switzerland and when they were tiny it was unusual for a stranger not to come up and talk to us and coo to the children in the street, on the trams, in the parks - if anyone did that in this country they would soon find themelves the subject of police attention. When they were about 5 we moved to Japan - my wife being Japanese - and they attended the local primary school where they had the happiest time imaginable. All social events at the weekends revolved around the family and I really don't believe there could be anywhere better for children to grow up. We returned here a few years ago, when our children were teenagers, to find drugs, drinking, smoking, aggression, loutishness, and general bad behaviour to be common amongst their peers. When it comes to my children's turn to have families, I would certainly not want my grandchildren to be born and raised in this country. Nor do I want to be old in this country.

Peter, Cambridge,

STOP! Real women want to raise there children and not work . The rest of you are talking intellctual crap.

paul, Wakefield,

Although I believe in freedom, I now feel that if children are being supported entirely by state benefits, then the state should legally be regarded as a parent/guardian and be responsible for seeing that the child receives a basic package of care and support. These young mothers apparently see being a parent as a career move. How many jobs can you take on and then not be accountable to anyone, yet these very young girls appear to be able to do just that. Make training compulsory with supervision and targets and performance checks, just as everyone in work has to undergo nowadays. In-house training for a period in a mother and baby training school to start off with. I see a lot of neglected, grey looking little bundles being pushed around where I live and I feel very sad for them. I know it would be expensive to begin with, but surely savings would occur elsewhere. For one thing it might not seem such an attractive job proposition.

E. Greenacre, Grimsby, England

Sterilise single mothers after their second child, and castrate the fathers. It's what Hitler would have done!

Noel Falconer, COUIZA, France

My (very successful ) dad died when I was 2 years old, and as the youngest had to deal with the emotional fallout from my siblings and my mother, who was totally dependent) . My grandmother wanted to take us all to give my mum a break but that was never going to happen. My mum for all her failings, loved us unconditionally.

There are a lot of issues here, but most importantly, I really do feel any female who wants a baby should have a university degree in child rearing and parenthood.

There has to be a safety net for children that surely outweighs the need for constant population growth from natural birth and immigration to grow an economy.

Children now have lost the chance of being children. ~Thats sad. Very sad.

Andrew Whitehead, Kentish town, LONDON

Marrin sadly debases her whole argument by resorting to the risibly foolish notion of state- or theist-operated fiscal social engineering - i.e. to reward the married for being married, and fiscally penalising those who don't wish to be. Someone, in this case me, needs to remind her that parental responsibilities for their progeny do not magically manifest themselves simply because either church or state (or both) are permitted to compel and endorse a relationship by dictat.

Joseph White, Louhgborough, UK

The problem is much deeper than that: as long as women devalue motherhood in favour of a career, children't aren't going to get taken care of. It's easy to say the man should look after the kids too, but the truth is that no woman wants to marry beneath herself - and that means a man who works harder and makes more money than she does. If the man's working all the time, and the woman wants a career too, who's going to look after the kids?

Pete, London,

Pay Benefit Single Parents and make them attend regular Interviews - then Code the Benefit Cost onto the absent parent's tax bill with an invitation to challenge it before a tribunal. If the absent parent has no income block their benefit until they attend the tribunal.

Make all children born to unmarried mothers Wards of Court and require supervision of mother and reports to Court.

ToMTom, Leeds, England

Bringing up children properly requires commitment, patience, sacrifice and indefatigable love. These qualities are in short supply in our culture. But, is it possible to legislate them into being? They flow from the heart. So, really, we need a change of heart. But, how to get that is a profound question.

John Tindall, Birmingham, UK

As a teacher, I have encountered problem children whose mental & physical health had suffered because of parents who don't know how to look after them. Therefore the findings did not shocked me at all. If mothers need to work then we need better & cheaper child care facilities with qualified staff. Staff who are creative & inspire the kids. Not just put them in front of play station or a TV.

We tried for years to have a child but had not been successful. I am appalled that so many people put their own lives first & neglected the needs of their children. The way forward is more parenting classes & less unsuitable TV programmes for kids.

SHoe, Stratford upon Avon, Warwickshire

As a childless (by choice) wife, I don't envy parenthood. I'm sure it's never been easy bringing up a child even in the days of corporal punishment. Whether a couple or lone parent, the way the world is now it's even more of a worry what their young minds are being filled with. They aren't my favourite fruit they make too much noise and kick footballs into my garden, but deep down I do care what happens to my neighbour's kids.

Susy, Newton Abbot, UK