Rachel Johnson
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Got kids? Have they got laptops? You’d better read this. Last week I went out to dinner and my host casually mentioned, while topping up my glass, a website that he said was completely altering the economics of the net, just as music file-sharing sites are sinking the CD industry, free newspapers are making inroads into print circulations, piracy is harming the DVD industry and video killed the radio star.
I don’t particularly want to give you the name of the site (of course, I have led a sheltered life – you could well be a frequent visitor) but, basically, it’s like YouTube except it’s for hardcore porn: a portal offering free, unfettered access to all manner of tastes and niche interests, if you get my drift.
When we all rose from the table to inspect it, a sick feeling started in the pit of my belly. It wasn’t the awful titles of the videos that did for me – Thin Czech Girl Gets F*****! was one, as if this were cause for a national holiday; another was Justine Wants to Learn Anal. Nor was it the usual parade of male fantasies – you know, very young girls eager to engage in practices that are banned in several American states, all that kind of thing.
What felled me, as the parent of children aged 12, 14 and 15, was the heart-sinking evidence that it is now completely normal and common to post graphic videos online of yourself having sex, or to watch others doing whatever it is you want to see them doing – without the need for a credit card, a password or any proof of age. And the site I saw is the tip of the iceberg. In the top 100 sites in the UK – as determined by Alexa, the ranking engine – there are four similar porn “hubs”, one of them a Spanish site boasting it is a “portal gigante de videos de sexo”.
So it didn’t take long. And now it’s happened. The pornification of the internet is complete.
Okay, I allow that this kind of stuff is a matter of choice for over18s, and between consenting adults. What concerns me is that these are open-access sites, which children of all ages can view. (It’s thought that up to 90% of children have viewed pornography online, and the average age for a first-time view is 11.) So if you combine adolescent hormones and the teenage rage for exhibi-tionism (it’s a fact that nothing happens to a teenager until it’s up on their Face-Book or MySpace page) with the fact that boys are hardwired to take risks and thrill-seek, you have – in my view – the makings of a total disaster.
I have considered the (adult male) argument that it is instructive and healthy for under16s to view adult content, and that porn means nothing. I know that it’s important for the development of the frontal cortex to experiment when you’re young. I understand that, of course, most 15-year-old boys will look at porn if it’s out there (what else are they most likely to seek out? The website for the London Review of Books?). I’ve read Tanya Byron’s excellent report on internet safety, which led to the launch last week of the UK Council for Child Internet Safety (UKCCIS), and spoken to several of the council members.
And – sorry, guys – I’m even more convinced: looking at hardcore porn is pernicious for the underaged and should be prevented if at all possible.
In America, the National Institutes of Health is studying the long-term effects of porn on young adults. And – surprise – it reports that porn messes up relationships and perverts attitudes to sex. Well, it would, if you were turned on in your formative years by images of women as sex objects gagging for extreme sex.
John Carr, a member of the Family Online Safety Institute, tells me that children frequently have to be taken into care after being exposed to pornography. He knows of a nine-year-old boy who started acting out porno scenarios in the playground. “His idea of sex was a foursome, with everyone switching partners every five minutes,” he told me.
There are several cases in the US of children who have been charged with pornography offences after sending their friends lurid images on their phones (which are now like mini-production studios, of course, with sound and colour and video) or posting content posed by minors on the web. I know. Whoah. When we were kids, if you wanted to see a friend, you got on your bike.
We can’t get away from it now, though. Children are natives of the digital age, and we’re the unwelcome immigrants. Technology and kids will always be one step ahead of parental controls, if not several miles – there’s no filtering software that can prevent, for example, the exchange of data packets on hand-held devices such as BlackBerrys and iPhones.
So, got kids? Have they got laptops? Then get some effective filtering software (though your teens could well be nifty at uninstalling it). Try to impose rules about screen time (no, me neither – it’s beyond a joke at my house). And hope and pray that when it comes to their own offspring, our techie internet kids will be a lot more more clued-up than we were.

Here’s a test: can you put a name to these quotes? 1) “Over the years, I have tried lots of different things. I have made lots of mistakes. But I’ve figured some things out in the process and I would like to share them with you. Make your life good. Invest in what’s real. Pause before reacting.” 2) “Thinking before deciding is good. Not deciding because you don’t like the consequences of a decision is bad. The right thing will be right all the time.” 3) “Let’s come straight to the point. I want to talk to you about who I am and what I believe.” 4) “I’m a 41-year-old father of three who thinks that family is the most important thing there is. For me. For my country.”
Okay, No 4 is easy – but isn’t it hard to distinguish between the words of Gordon Brown (3), David Cameron (2 and 4) and the one I slipped in from Gwyneth Paltrow (1)?
The focus on me, me, me is unavoidable in Slebville but an unwelcome development in political life. Much though I admire Cameron and have a total girl crush on his wife, Samantha, the eerie similarity between a crucial passage of his conference address and the drivel of a wittering celebrity who also thinks she can “make a difference” is revealing.
When pols talk as if we’re all in a great big Californian ashram together, discovering ourselves on personal journeys, I can’t hit the “off” button fast enough. Stop!
Rachel Johnson has written for among others, the Daily Telegraph, the Spectator, the Evening Standard and Easy Living, and is author of The Mummy Diaries and Notting Hell. She is married with three children and lives in London. Her column appears weekly in The Sunday Times.
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My girlfriend and I love watching porn. We also drink alcohol, drive cars and pay taxes. My children do none of these things. It's called good parenting.
Steve, anytown, USA
notice that most of the correspondants on this particular thread are men........ most women are left speechless and depressed by this article
Cathy, b ham, uk
What a relief - They won't have to surreptitiously max out my Visa paying for it. Joking aside, the author is way, way, behind the game.
Vic Deakin, Dublin,
as adults the majority of us can take porn as it is and its doesnt affect our respect of others, but for youths i dont think it is so just as it isnt with drugs or alcohol or gambling ... we need to control this otherwise our youths feel they are adults at younger and younger ages...
mike, london,
Hi and welcome to the year 2006? Or was it 2005?
Tim Harrington, London,
ms, Rachel, i beg u pardon, but actually pornsites were accessible more than 15 years already. do u think the Porntube would change something? i ve started seeing porn online since i ve got a connection (i was 14). I hope i m not a pervert - it s all about usual curiosity.
dieggy, Arkhangelsk, Russia
I learned about the existence of the site to which you refer from an article written in a national newspaper.
Which paper? The Times. 24 September 2007, in Caitlin Moran's column.
Jack Roob, London, England
Early access to porn is a factor in the history of some very serious offenders.Yes indeed well said Geoff. We need to protect our children's emotional growth and future mental health. The trouble is that those most in need of protection from this will be those who access it most.
William, Manchester, UK
The internet is full of free porn? Really? Who knew?
james, Nottingham, UK
If your understanding of sex is formed through porn then not kissing, squeezing breasts as though they were a stress ball and going through 7 positions in an hour will be normal to these kids when they're adults. Never mind the body issues...
Dont you think theres something desperately sad in that?
Fiona, London,
As a mature (very) adult I can use porn if I want without it warping my perception and understanding of the opposite sex. For developing teenagers I think it is different. Porn gets in the way of learning to engage with the opposite sex as people rather than sex objects.
Geoff, Tunbridge Wells, Kent
As usual, this article completely misses the point that the Internet wasn't designed for kids. It was designed for adults. It may have its uses for children but only with adult supervision.
Derek Stanley, Cambridge, United Kingdom
I view these sites- difficult to resist this development. You can see nearly anything, and some of it's shocking. But I've noticed the more I view the more desensitised I become, and I wish it didn't exist- it tempts me to cheat, alters my view of women, makes me desatisfied with my partner. Sad.
Clive, Singapore,
Was this article written in 1995?. I don't see how this is a story - free porn has been available on tinterweb for at least 10 years. It's also well known that the most frequent Internet searches are for porn. Protection is up to the parents and tools are readily available.
Reiddy, Glasgow, Scotland
I think it's time for the reporter to accept the fact that free porn has been at the forefront of the internet since its inception, pushing forward the boundries of the web far more than most legitimate sites.
If such sites offend her so much then I suggest she turns on the parental controls on.
Rob, Gloucester,
Porn is like food for all of us. You can't escape it if you want. Your kids will look at porn with or with out of your approval. The best thing is you teach them what it is, and let them watch it every month if they want to.
Antony , New York, USA
40 percent of people who view these sites are women. So let's forget blaming big bad men and grow up a bit. Also you may have noticed that the women in these videos appear to be quite happy to partake. Those who are anti religion are blind to the idea that morals are the only defence from evil.
J Nowland, Leeds, United Kingdom
Sex is not a bad thing. Repeat to yourselves. Sex is not a bad thing.
kingkerouac, London,
This realisation has only just occurred to the author? We permit footage of people shooting and bombing each other on the midday news, so footage of non-violent sex doesn't particularly bother me. If you don't want your kids accessing it, use parental settings, or better still, buy them books.
Mark, London, UK
Right, so ban your kid from using file-sharing, and keep an eye on the firewall which sites he's going to. Simple.
It is only techno-illiteracy on the part of parents that is causing all this fear and anxiety.
Owen, London, UK
Thx for great article. Filters and what have you are an obvious answer for the young. Proper role modelling another - what's the proportion of married men watchin porn again? About one in two? So get your husbands subscribe to the policy first and then talk to kids.
Fred Caprivi, Manchester,
Kids will always find a way round parental controls/firewalls (i.e. using caches or proxies). You might stop some sites, but there are always new sites and new ways of downloading.
If you have wireless, put the box in your room and then turn it off when you want them to stop. Goodluck :o)
Chris, Edinburgh,
It's called Parental Control settings, it's available on all Internet Browsers & it's the parents' responsibility to configure it (or have it configured) so their kids can't access any site of pornographic content or that allow illegal downloads (as you can't really control WHAT they'd download)
Tom, London,
Get educated. Get a firewall and block access to the sites. Tell your kids that the firewall will log access to the sites they visit and that you will inspect the log files.
tim, basel,
Parents are just going to have to make more of an effort to keep their kids away from adult sites. It's a worrying sign when our political leaders begin to talk like Hollywood luvvies, particularly as most of us view the latter as deluded beings from another planet with too much air in their heads.
David, London,
"Free" hardcore video trailers have been available and easily accessible for years. So why is this suddenly a story?
Dirk Bruere, Bedford, England
Europe is relatively conservative when it comes to porn. It gets worse if you go to Russia, for example, where nudity is everywhere - commercials, ads, posters and magazines. Not mentioning RU internet zone - 7 from 10 websites have sexual content. Whats gonna happen with those kids?
Alex Mesh, Beijing, China
Filters do work, especially on a Mac so you can prevent kids seeing it in your own home but not elsewhere. I will be explaining to my kids that porn is fine in small doses but that it is unreal, makes you rubbish in bed and if you want to keep your girlfriend then probably best not copy the movies!
CS, Sydney , Australia
The advent of the internet means that anybody can get (virtually) any information they want, (virtually) instantaneously. If you have the responsibility of bringing up children, you just have to figure out how to do so properly. You can't "protect" them from any information. Adjust. Live with it.
Thomas Goodey, Cuxton-upon-Medway, England