Life's A Picnic

That’s the spirit, Bishop Bigot. Let’s hate everybody

I have been wondering who Jesus Christ would have liked least, Africans or homosexuals

Hard to know who’s the real villain of this doomed canoe trip

If you are going to pose for a photo, at least have the sense to wear a Radovan Karadzic-style disguise

Trust me, Trevor, Dibley doesn’t really do black people

Television is run by white, middle-class men (in the main) who have bought into the very worst kind of multicultural tokenism

Lillian, the marriage registrar who’s wedded to bigotry

Civil ceremonies for gays and straights are meant to be the secular alternative to a church do, so let's keep God out of it

They’re dropping like flies around Boris – and it’s his fault

The new mayor of London is in a jam and haemorrhaging senior staff

Parents kidding themselves over child protection

Anyone who wants to work in children’s TV must be a bit suspect, not quite right

'No' vote was down to Meddling Mandy

Peter Mandelson would not know a principle if it accosted him in a nightclub wearing a G-string

If that constitution returns, Gordon, we want a vote

The Lisbon treaty will re-emerge quite soon, camouflaged with a false beard and a moustache

Hillary, they just don’t like you

It's not race or age or gender. It's simply that American voters have turned from the Clinton past to new hope in Obama

Before you damn us all, Mrs Climbié, I’ve a few questions too

Victoria’s natural mother, Berthe, was in the country to berate Britain for having failed to look after her daughter

The jihadis are just plain useless

If you were devout, you might put two and two together and conclude that Allah doesn’t approve of blowing people to bits

Good grief! Moscow misery is sheer delight

This Champions League final had it all: sulking, blubbing, a medal for Peter Kenyon . . .

Tell the fat girl she’s an ugly porker

Is there any hope for the most stupid, ill-mannered, flatulent and sexually incontinent girls in Europe?

Bollinger Boris is fine - but beware any posh posse riding with him

After decades of people mistrusting toffs for their stupidity and braying, it is now okay, or okay yah, to be posh again

Thanks, Tomasz, but it seems we can fix the pipes without you

Thousands more booked flights to Lodz after learning of the new season of The Catherine Tate Show

Oh crikey, the spin monkeys have lobotomised Boris

That’s what being a serious politician is all about, having flat hair

Why I was glad Ronaldo missed that penalty