Watch Out

A terribly polite bombshell

The Iraq war inquiry began in a strange atmosphere of high civility, yet already its revelations are damning

That Queen’s speech in full . . . plus a translation

My government will endeavour to ensure not only that England hosts the World Cup in 2018, but actually wins it too

The heartland won’t be fooled again

There is something a little pitiful watching Brown tell the country how worried he is about immigration and how it must not be taboo

Dosh is the only thing that sticks to the likes of Teflon Terry

Do you ever wonder how people get jobs, I mean the really big jobs paying more in a year than you’ll earn in two decades?

MPs blow off truth about drugs

I often wonder to what extent the narcissistic bilge you read in your daily newspapers is a consequence of cocaine rammed up the nostril

Halfwit parents should learn respect

My school’s judgment — right or wrong — was good enough for my parents. It's a pity that this no longer appears to be the case

Kirstie’s in charge, so fill your boots

One year ago, if you suggested it was okay for bankers to have their bonuses, you would have been shunned by polite society

Sisters, this will have you frothing again

No more jokes about women from me, then, not even that hackneyed old line about why did the feminist cross the road

Brucie, Du Beke and the Beeb – I don’t know who’s worst

The white liberals squirming and shuddering about this television programme for idiots are racked by mere faux-guilt

The bankers haven’t learnt that greed is good . . . for nothing

I wonder if you added up the cost of the crimes of every prisoner in this country whether the total would come to anywhere near £27 billion

Questions for the skivvy may hang milady out to dry

Very shortly I will be able to reveal to you the whole truth about Baroness Scotland’s employment of an illegal immigrant

Immigration farce played out in Milady’s parlour

Government doesn't have the slightest clue how many illegal immigrants are in the UK at the moment or for whom they are working

The big scandal here isn’t the sale of Rover, minister

A public inquiry took £16m to tell us what we already knew and buy some time for politicians

Oi, you big nancy, I know who the real bigots are

If the Bishop of Winchester pulls out, I’d like to be considered as a replacement on the shortlist for bigot of the year

The truth: there are too many of us

The quicker the problem of overpopulation can be uncoupled from racial rhetoric, the more likely we are to address the real issue

No politicians and no clue, either

The last thing anybody wants is for their local politician to be a politician

It’s no secret — the weathermen are just guessing

Camp weathermen might be a defence mechanism, given that nobody trusts them and we assume they are just there to entertain