Thank you for your article. I would like to quote one paragraph.
'Life is a delicate balance of striving to safeguard against chaos and chance while at the same time allowing freedom and independence. Few of us get it right – but indulging our moral superiority won’t help any of us do it better.' Anyone who has ever lived in a tiny resort community might leave children asleep on occasion, feeling you've made the house safe and checking on them often. To some this may not be considered "right" and it also may not be legal, but it is human. To state the obvious, most bad things that happen to children happen when an adult is in the house. This has nothing to do with innocence or guilt of any party, just to join with you in a call for compassion in this tragedy.

Carolyn Sweeny, London,

Any parent who says they have never left their children alone for a moment is a liar.

M J Brockman, Epsom,

Excellent well thought ouit article. However, I do take exception to the comments made by Carol, Exeter. UK
Comes across as somewhat "Holier than thou" Lining up to "cast the first stone" Quite a paragon.! Makes me really fear for the future of the human race.
The McCann's are caught in a bizarre Kafkaesque nightmare of speculation. They have lost a child, the worst thing is they do not know where and how she is. This is almost worse than knowing Madeleine is dead. It's the not knowing that is the Hell. They are to be supported, not condemned in a Salem witch hunt.

Rosy Frier-Dryden, Vancouver, BC, Canada/UK

"They stayed in the shop another five minutes or so by which time the boy had stopped crying."
So it worked then?

Jay Cee, Brussels,

How would you have reacted if the woman's husband had slapped her in the shop for 'whingeing'? Or seen an old person or even (no! no!) a dog being assaulted?

It's OK, you ARE morally superior, there is no need to feel ashamed about it.

And why DO mothers drag their young children around the shops for hours and then shout at them or hit them when they play up or just get tired and hungry? Pure selfishness.

Name Withheld, aberdeen, UK

God blesses your objectivity!!!! This article could cost to you your prestige within the journalist union, nevertheless, you prefer to be thinking and to leave the pile of lambs outside. God blesses to you.

Hildrun, Maracaibo, Venezuela

Colin, I totally agree. I have sobbed as I read this article. I am a parent of three under 5 - need I say more. Our neighbours do complain about the screeming saying 'children do not cry for no reason'. I love my children and have desperately tried to get the balance you talk about right. Those words have haunted me at times - what does she think we are doing? If something went horribly wrong I am sure tide would go against us in that department!! Also the moral superiority you talk about rises in me so many times and so unexpextedly and so unwantedly when around other parents; and that is with absolutely no desire for it. I squash it down, repent and carry on trying to do the best I can without comparison. I am sure that the McCanns are innocent and I pray to God that He will vindicate fully as only He can and that He will restore their lives. Thank you so much for writing this!

Suzie Leeds

Suzie Hamlin, Leeds, UK

I don't believe Sean or Amelie Mccann are in danger from their parents. I think you are right. Some people do believe their way is the only way. i can't imagine myself wanting to take on the responsibility of making such a huge decision as taking away someone's rights to their children because I decided somehow I, without knowing these people, that I was so great and my opinions so much better that I could do that. Thankfully no matter what happens those twins, it appears, have plenty of people who love them and would take them in if need be. Accidently or not, killing your own child is bad enough but hiding it is grotesque. She would deserve better. Those twins love their Mom and Dad I hope so much it turns out good for them.

tracy, palm Beach GArdens, USA, Florida

For crying out loud! Struggling single parents who have never left a small child alone are thoroughly entitled to feel morally superior to two well-paid parents who did.

Name Withheld, Norwich,

I agree. No one knows what happened that night to Madeleine apart from Madeleine herself and whoever took her. Whether that was her parents or anyone else.
I've found myself looking down my nose at mothers who cannot 'control' their toddlers in shops or on trains and I'm not even a mother, so really am the most inappropriate person to judge.
Whether Kate McCann is the worst possible psychopath or just a poor woman whose injury has been added with terrible insult (I favour the latter) is being discussed in the most tactless and inconsiderate way to the McCann family. And I too am guilty and for that I am sorry.

Sarah , London,

Your article hits on an interesting point on the smugness we experience when (subjectively) feeling morally superior. In reference to the McCanns it feels like a nation is standing in the lane, with curlers and house coats on, whilst pursing lips and tutting. An unattractive image of a nation. Have we no comapssion left?
People who sign a petition, with no real intimate knowledge of the people they are trying to destroy ,are quite simply dispicable. Bullying at its worst.

Elizabeth (Expat), Sydney , Australia

This article and the comments below are peppered with statements about how "I feel sure that the McCanns are not guilty," which is no more justifiable a position than assuming them guilty because you don't like the way they parent. The Portugese police, whilst not exactly setting the world of law enforcement alight, have a very difficult job to do, and, given provable statistic that most murders are committed by people known to the victim, the British media should stick to reporting the facts and let both sets of police get on with their investigations without the bogus emotional outpouring. I sincerely hope Madeleine McCann turns up alive and well, but emotional hand-wringing by the British media and people won't help that one little bit, in fact it will make the whole case much more difficult.

David , London, UK

I haven't been in that position, but do most people who take young children to a holiday resort really stay in their room all evening? I'd have thought that tucking them in and going for a drink or meal in the hotel, and checking on them every half hour or so, would be normal and reasonable.
It defies common sense that the parents would take their children on holiday abroad and then quietly and calmly murder one of them. There is no doubt in my mind that Madelaine was kidnapped, and may still be alive, but now nobody is even bothering to look for her. I also think that now the kidnapper has got away with it once they will probably strike again sooner or later.>

Glen, Melbourne, Australia

A very human article. Thank you Mrs.Parsons.

Andrea, Montréal,

I don't know whether the McCanns are involved in the disappearance or not and nor does anyone else except them. The Police think they have a case against them and the judge will decide in the next week or so if they have sufficient for it to be tested by a trial. All the amateur detectives suggesting this or that course of action for the police are in a little world of their own and have never investigated anything in their lives but feel free offer their opinions nevertheless as if the police were as amateur as themselves. What I do know however is that slapping a childs thigh as punishment is a parental choice. It's not yet illegal and there are arguments to be put as to its effectiveness and harm on both sides. Leaving three children all under three all alone in a foreign bedroom to go out to dinner is parenting of the completely negligent kind. They had the money to hire a babysitter and the education to know better. They have no excuses. No wonder the police have suspicions.

Samuel Gee, Farnham, UK

Well said...........the McCann's are no more gulty than you or I. The only thing they appear to be guilty of is being too trusting and/or naive of the human race. My husband and I attended a party around 6 months ago in a neigbours house while our 3 children aged 8, 3 & 2 slept in our house next door and we checked on them as you do but you never think for a second that anyone would come into your house and take one of them from their bed. I won't do it again but it doesn't make me a bad parent. I love my children with all my heart and would die for them and these poor people are most probably of the same vein although so many people around the world are judging them and pointing the evil finger at them when really and truly some of these people have done the very same although they won't admit it now. The world is full of nasty people. I sincerely hope that Madeleine is found safe and returned to her family and the Portugese Police involved in the case are brought to justice.

Lynn, Hamilton, Scotland

I feel so sorry for the McCanns.They have been going through complete torture for over 4 months.They are living a nightmare and the papers continue to make their nightmare worse by speculation on using nasty headlines to sell papers.That is what the media is about, getting the best headline to attract us, the customer!!
Has no one read that the so-called portugese 'detective' has, and is still an arguido himself and he continues to work.He would have been suspended in this country. If you google him, I am sure, like me you will realise he has something against women.
Mrs McCann (Kate)-as everyone is calling her like they know her personally or something-i mean, come on-HOW disrespectful!!!! looks like a wonderful mum to me. She looks and it has been proved she is a wonderful, caring and VERY loving mother and a blind person can see that. As for shouting at her children. Doesn't everyone raise their voice at some point??and as for being 'violent'-she must only weigh 6 stone.

becky, notts,

All that we know about this case is hearsay. We don't know what happened. We don't know what the police found, what police thinks. We only know speculations. We don't know why they were made "arguidos". We just don't know. We know however that a little girl is still missing and we should not loose sight of this.

Sandra, Toronto,

A very good article which I totally agree with,there ahs been too much media speculation without much indepth investigation.
To me there are so many loopholes that I doubt that the Police in Portugal have any clear idea of what actually happened.
Also what about that report that a man who looked like he was carrying away a child that night,that seems to have been ignored.

Nigel, wimbledon, uk

I take exception to your suggestion taht we are beginning to revel in moral superiority over the McCann's. I am not judging them and certainly do not feel morally superior to them. However, I do feel morally superior to the journalists who continue to milk their tragic story.

Marion Morrison, Cheltenham,

I totally agree with the views expressed in this article and have had similar reflections to the writer. Not for one moment do I think the McCanns are guilty and I am outraged on their behalf at some of the smug and cruel comments that I have read.
I would also like to stand up and admit that I (like most people) I am not a perfect parent. However I love and cherish my own child above all else as , I firmly believe (on all the evidence I have seen) , do the McCanns.

Karen, Sheffield, UK

Well said.
Recent reactions to the episode among a significant minority of ordinary folk who have written, blogged, etc, reminds me that some or maybe even many would cast the first stone, turn up for a hanging, Civilization seems as at risk as ever.

C Drury, Rutland, UK

So a 'significant amount of hair' AND bodily fluids, both belonging to Madeleine, found in the spare wheel housing of the boot of the McCann's hire car doesn't ring any alarm bells with you???
Oh dear you really are swearing blind allegiance for fear of losing face arn't you.
Mind you you probably wouldn't think twice about leaving your children in an unlocked appartment in a foreign country so that you could go out and enjoy your 'me' time either would you?
Whilst I don't claim to be a better mother than the lady you saw in Gap or anyone else for that matter, I KNOW damn well that I am a better mother than Kate McCann. Any mother who loves and cherishes their children is.

CAROL, EXETER, UK

There is only one victim in this sordid affair and that is Madeleine , not her parents who have been very good at distracting the media and substituting themselves into the role of victims.This has distracted much of the police work and media away from considering them as suspects for many months. If they had been considered as suspects from the start,the police work would have been more incisive and faster.
What do we know about the McCanns?Apart from the tribe that seems to surround them at all times?Why have the media not gone into their backgrounds;their colleagues;people they went to school with;their neighbours etc?What was their mobile phone usage and records on the night the child disappeared-heavy usage by the parents and tribal members that evening would merit some pursuit.
The thesis that the poor child was sedated by the parents so that they could enjoy the party without fuss,and then suffocated due to sedation or had some mishap causing her death is very plausible .

C.Elder, london,

I don't have a strong opinion either way about the McCann's. But I do about children being left alone. Moral superiority? No, just a foster mother that sees the results of children being left alone. When my kids came (sibling group of three), they were convinced that nothing bad could happen in my area. The lawns were too pretty and the houses too big. I've explained that Social Services are more hesitant to come to affluent areas, that abuse happens behind pretty doors too. True, not true? I think that most people don't want to believe that, it hits too close to home.

Kelly Carey, Towson, USA

We talk of being "dirt poor" too.

JP, London,

Since I became a mother I've noticed how debated many parenting issues are. Working v staying at home, fomula v breast, leaving to cry v attatchment: I have seen all "sides" used by parents as a means of saying "my choices are better than yours. I am a better parent".
Parenting is about making choices, not wrapping our children in cotton wool. That the McCanns left their children alone at night was a serious error in judgment for which they have been punished. They did, however, risk assess. They judged fire to be the greatest risk and left a door unlocked. Random abduction is so unusual it is not surprising that people on a relaxed family holiday would not consider it a risk.
Any stick available is now being used to beat Kate McCann. She is either cold, emotionless and too controlled or she is out of control and has a violent temper. Kate kept a diary to show Madeleine how much the family has looked for her and how loved she is. To my mind, that is the act of a good mother.

Anna, London,

What a well written article stating the obvious so clearly. Only the other day was I discussing with my neighbour the jealousy factor towards the MaCcanns. It is so easy to pass judgement and feel superior but if we reflect closely on our lifes, I am sure there is never perfection.
I remember the morning of May the 4th and hearing the news of Madeleine being discussed as I dropped my younger child off at playgroup. Like the other mother I agreed, 'they were mad to leave the children alone'. Later hearing more details about the situation I began to think about similar situations where I have left my children with risk that they could be abducted....but never realised or considered this as a possibilty. When visiting parents in law, we stay in an appartment attached to the house, but with a seperate entrance as well as access from the main house. Once the children are asleep, we join the family in the main house. There is every possibilty that some one could take them.

Karin, Edinburgh,

I couldn't agree more.
Well said

roxana, chesnee, SC,

Amen to all the above. These people waited five years to become parents, then they kill their eldest? Then went to dinner. Yeah makes sense NOT.

Leanne, Brisbane, Australia

I agree completely with the above comments. There are two plain and simple questions to be asked. Where would they have hidden the body of their little girl for 22 days and how on earth did they dispose of it without ANYONE noticing it. What tools would they have used to dig a hole or to cover an existing one? Would they have take a boat to the middle of the sea and disposed of the body - who would they have hired the boat from? could soeone in the Hire Car firm or some who is working there and who is connected to the kidnapper be involved in this?

Celine Ward, Beckenham, YK

A mature comment, thank you

John Galt, Sydney, Australia

A couple of questions come to mind , no mention has been made about the Portugese Police having interviewed the Agent who HIRED that particular car to the McCann's 25 days after Madeleine's dissapearance and neither has any mention
be made re the person/person's who had the hired the car previous to the McCann's ." Have these people been brought
in for questioning?", from what I have read it appears there are many missing links in this case.

Lesley, High Wycombe, UK

i agree wholeheartedly with this article, I have never believed the McCanns to be guilty and still don't. This whole affair is becoming a witch hunt. I can remember leaving my two daughters alone to go across the hall every second night and checking on them every twenty minutes. My neighbour and I took it in turns every second night to go to each others flats when our husbands were in Northern Ireland with the British Army, does that make us bad mothers too. 'Let those of you without sin cast the first stone'. The McCanns will never forgive themselves, let them grieve in peace.

Alison Finch, Sydney, Australia

Natascha Kampusch was kidnapped from a Vienna street in 1988. The police even questioned the very man who had kidnapped the 10 year old. They even searched his house. It was not until 2006 that she escaped.and 'came back to life'

TomTom, Leeds, England

This is one of the very few articles written about the Madeleine affair that makes complete 100% sense.

Well done.

colin, middlesbrough, teesside

Again - another balanced view point. I am warmed by the fact that there are people out there (including journalists)who are willing to stand up and be counted by espousing a view that is bound to court some negativity.

Yes the McCanns are attractive and professional, they live in a big house and they have jobs that pay a fabulous salary - but hang on, they have lost a daughter, could be financially ruined and have their whole livelihood destroyed and still have to raise two little tots whose lives have barely begun.

This tide of envy sickens me. I cannot comprehend the small minded people who can kick human beings when they are at their lowest point, because they happen to be successful.

Where has the milk of human kindness gone?

Karen, Hereford,

What a well written article! Time to stop and think.

Lucy , London,

Yes, Sandra, the whole thing stinks. It is loathsome the way the public mood has veered from maukishness ("oh what an awful thing to happen to such lovely parents of such a lovely little gird, we're all praying for them", etc.), to what one man said on "Newsnight" tonight (that the Portuguese papers, who have had it in for the McCanns from early on "have probably got it right"). But then we all know how fickle the public mood can be, and how cleverly the tabloids play on it. Just imagine if Diana had survived the car crash and married Dodi. Would she still be considered a saint now? No; we all know how she would have been villified: "such a betrayal of lovely Wills and Harry, we always knew she was bad", etc., etc....

J.Fletcher, Canterbury, UK