Dear Diary,

Well, the worrying thing is I find myself being courted by two men and I can’t quite decide which one to go for. Can I really be falling for Gordon? He’s so not my type – a bit too unreconstructed for my taste – and yet he’s saying all the right things and his friend told me he might be pushing for my answer quite soon.

Unlike so many men I know, he’s pledged not to drink too much or gamble, or let anyone around us take drugs (or if they do, he’ll throw them out). Plus, he talks a lot about family values and how his dad taught him respect, and that’s all rather attractive.

Then of course he’s looking much better these days, too. He’s lost at least a stone, he’s had his teeth done and his hair looks sensational (it always used to look sort of sweaty, but now it’s perfect, freshly shampooed daily is my guess, and really well styled, with just the right amount of grey). Then there are his suits, which are beautifully cut, and I always like that in a man.

On the other hand, there’s that little nagging voice at the back of my mind that just won’t go away. I mean, for the past ten years he hasn’t exactly behaved perfectly, has he? To be frank, he’s always been thought of as a bit of a bully, someone who brooks no argument, who sulks if he doesn’t get his own way, and surrounds himself with yes-men.

And that’s another thing. I’ve noticed that a lot of men like Gordon, and I’ve an unpleasant feeling that it might be because he makes them all feel better about themselves.

You can’t imagine Gordon doing the dishes or the cooking, loading the washing machine or getting up in the middle of the night to change a nappy – he’s far too busy doing manly things, like thinking deep, important thoughts.

All that domestic stuff can be left to a woman who stays in the background and who knows her place (and I’m pretty sure that place is always two steps behind Gordon).

So that’s all rather unsettling. Meanwhile, there’s Dave.

Now the thing about Dave is that he’s a lot grander than me – went to Eton, grew up in a big house in the country – and yet I find him much less intimidating than Gordon. Whereas Gordon always makes me feel a little like a pupil who’s been summoned to the headmaster’s study, Dave makes me feel like a student who’s been invited to join a rather cool, clever club.

And while I don’t think he spends lots of time getting drunk, I think you can have a few glasses of wine with him without worrying, as I would have to with Gordon, about whether I’d said something silly or – worse – something that offended him.

Come to think of it, I’m not sure Gordon really cares what I think or what I feel – he’s more of a “how did I do?” type, whereas Dave, I think, might ask “how was it for you?”

You quite often see Dave bringing the groceries back on his bike and one of his big things is marriage. He thinks society would get along a lot better if people committed to having children only once they were married – and I do think he’s the type to change a nappy in the middle of the night.

I don’t think he’d feel that was the woman’s job; because, although he’s surrounded by a lot of other clever, well-mannered young men, I’m absolutely certain he doesn’t have a problem with successful women or equality.

And here’s a curious thing: I’ve noticed that the same men who like Gordon often don’t like Dave. They tend to dismiss him as a bit of a lightweight, an accusation that’s easy to make but that as far as I can see doesn’t really hold water. He was apparently thought of as exceptionally bright at Eton; so are they saying that just because he’s not a bully, and is a litte more in touch with his feminine side, that they can’t respect him?

Actually the drawback with both of them is that they’re so worried about what I and my friends think that they’ve devoted far too much time and money to showing off.

Dave has lately been worrying about his image in general instead of concentrating on saying what he really feels (mind you, show me a man who does).

Plus, he’s made a few mistakes, like forgetting how much grammar schools matter to people like me who went to one, and doing a few silly stunts. Doesn’t he realise that there’s nothing that turns a woman off more than a man who is too contrived?

Now Gordon does realise that, I’m sure, because that’s one of the things he couldn’t stand about his former best friend, Tony. Lots of people thought Tony was a bit of a faker; the irony is that Gordon seems now to be faking it himself to convince everyone that he’s completely sincere.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I think he’s a bit too good to be true. People are even starting to say he’s a bit of a ladies’ man, and what woman wants one of those?

A lot of my girlfriends feel the same way. As one of them said to me, can a leopard really change its spots? Don’t fall for this schmaltzy talk, she said, and don’t forget all those times when there’s been trouble and no one’s seen or heard from him for days . . . do you really feel you can trust a man like that?

It always comes down to trust in the end. I think she may have a point. I’m certainly not ready to commit myself just yet. So I think I’d better wait until I hear from Dave again. He’s gone rather quiet lately, but apparently he’s going to be around quite a bit next week . . .

Advantage, Miss Evert

This sort of indecision has not been suffered, it seems, by Chris Evert, who has left her husband, the former champion skier Andy Mill, for golfer Greg Norman. Greg’s former wife Laura has accepted a £50 million divorce settlement, and boy, is she unhappy.

“She came after him, I’ve never seen anything like it,” she said of Evert. “I would never have thought anyone would be so aggressive in pursuing him in front of me like I didn’t exist.”

Honey, this is a woman who won 18 Grand Slam singles titles. Aggression is her middle name. And mummies exhorting their little darlings to be more assertive on the tennis courts would do well to remember it.

Burma: tyranny laid bare by technology

How fortunate we are here to be able to carp about the virtues of one good, democratic leader versus another. Thank God for new technology, which is allowing pictures of the protests in Burma to be transmitted around the world. Few journalists are allowed in, and you can’t e-mail or make a mobile phone call – unless you’re a geek who can use a foreign-hosted server or proxy site to break through firewalls, and luckily, Burma appears to have some of those.

All week I’ve been watching as they march barefoot through the streets. In my head the constant refrain has been Edmund Burke’s line: all that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Next time you feel disinclined to be brave, remember the monks in Burma.

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