A sense of belonging is one of the most powerful human needs. It is why grown
men and women can be brought to the verge of tears as much by singing
Jerusalem at a wedding as by remembering the pain of being the last in the
playground to be picked for a team. It is why solitary confinement is a
terrible punishment. It's why an elderly widow or widower will sit for an
hour with a cold coffee in a bustling fastfood restaurant, hoping almost by
osmosis to absorb some sense of community. It's why the first-time mother,
exhausted and lonely, may succumb to depression, why the eccentric child is
miserable at school and why the worker made redundant continues to leave
home each day dressed as though for the office, but actually headed for
nowhere except the library.
Feeling part of something is what keeps us sane (and even the most entrenched
iconoclast needs something against which to kick). On my first trip to the
US I laughed to see the presenter of Good Morning America place his right
hand on his heart and wrap up an item with the words “In this great country
of ours”, but afterwards it struck me that what lay behind the cheesiness
was a sense of unity that is central to America's success.
It's also a big part of the reason why America seems to have fewer problems
with extremist Muslims than Britain, because for all our well-intentioned
multiculturalism we do little to make anyone feel proud to be British. Our
much-vaunted cynicism is learnt behaviour - children, who adore to belong,
are wholly inclined to patriotism until put off by their elders - so I for
one am behind Lord Goldsmith's proposal that school pupils adopt an oath of
allegiance.
I'm not sure why it should be so shaming for the metropolitan, educated
classes to declare a love of being British, either. But now the situation
has become so bad that even Billy Bragg, one of the great leftwing political
songwriters of our times, is upset by our lack of patriotism. His book, The
Progressive Patriot, is, in his words, an examination of “the issue I'm
greatly agitated about, which is identity, belonging, immigration”.
We all need a moral code to live by and one effect of multiculturalism has
been to remove from many people's daily lives the one we used to follow,
namely that of the Church. Islam has swelled to fill part of that vacuum,
which is why so many British people are now worried: do we really want it to
become the dominant religion in this country? I certainly don't, not least
(but not only) because of its attitude to women.
As Mark Rimmer, head of the Brent Registration and Naturalisation Service in
London and the author of an initial report into citizenship, says: “People
born and raised in this country are often far too cynical about being
British and it seems to be a national pastime to put down British
institutions and our way of life. It is far too naive to believe that
initiatives such as this will change attitudes, but it might at least make
some of our young people stop to think about how lucky we are to be living
in a tolerant and free society.”
Interestingly, it is often immigrants who feel this gratitude far more keenly
than those of us who were born here. I'm married to one (a Serb) and you
won't find many keener supporters of Britain than he is. We laughed
uproariously when, waving our flags in the Royal Albert Hall at the Last
Night of the Proms once with some friends, he joked: “Makes me feel proud to
be British.” But when you've come from a country where justice is by no
means always seen to be done, where corruption is endemic and where nothing
works as it should, you do appreciate Britain.
Someone I respect greatly suggested to me the other day that those who eschew
religion could do a lot worse than adopt the Civil Service Code, and a quick
look confirms her wisdom. The code has four core values: integrity, honesty,
objectivity and impartiality. But what it's really about is responsibility,
to yourself and to others.
It used to be called duty, and we still appreciate it when we see it. It's the
reason Prince Harry is now perceived, post- Afghanistan, as heroic rather
than hedonistic. It's why Baroness Thatcher is in danger, as someone said
the other day, of becoming a national treasure. No one was especially
surprised that she emerged unscathed from hospital at the weekend after
collapsing at the House of Lords; the Grim Reaper himself is probably scared
of her and certainly must respect her.
It's easy to mock the Iron Lady but keeping going is what responsibility is
all about. At the weekend I read about the 84-year-old actor Roy Dotrice,
who is due to open next week in Windsor in a revival of Brief Lives. He fell
from the stage during rehearsal in Colchester and passed out - but insisted
on going on that night. Madonna has the same steely will: if Lily Allen and
Amy Winehouse displayed more of it they might feel rather happier than they
appear now.
So yes, let's introduce an oath of allegiance to our schools. Children won't
be responsible unless we encourage them to be - but they understand the
concept, and they know that they should be doing the right thing. Above all,
they want to belong. And we want them to feel they belong, because it's when
they don't that the trouble starts. I've never come across a bully yet who
wasn't bitter inside because of the feeling, often self-perpetuated, that he
or she didn't fit in. And the teenager who turns into a mass murderer,
shooting his classmates and teachers before turning the gun on himself, is
not someone with many friends who feels a deep sense of camaraderie.
I'm not saying that an oath of allegiance will turn us all into one big happy
family. But it can't do any harm - and it may do an awful lot of good.
The French have got it so right
One country that has no problem with its national identity is France, where
newly installed First Lady, the former top model Carla Bruni, is facing
stiff competition from her husband's female Cabinet ministers.
Only in France could the Justice Minister get away with wearing, to an
official function, an evening dress split to the thigh, and she herself was
given a run for her money by the Foreign Affairs, Interior, Higher Education
and Culture ministers, who all looked stunning.
The idea of Harriet Harman, Margaret Hodge or Jacqui Smith pulling off the
same trick here is unthinkable. In Britain, it is still considered bad form
to look as though you have tried too hard, but in France, it is considered
ill-mannered not to look as though you have made an effort in all areas of
your life.
The reason is that the French respect themselves more. They see no dichotomy
between making yourself look attractive while at the same time being
well-read, whereas here we are still afraid of being thought trivial for
caring about our hair. Frenchwomen are expected to be attractive. They are
also expected to hold down a job, bring up children and cook well. Quality
of life matters to them, from making time to eat to making time for leisure
- many professionals in France take eight weeks holiday. Are we really so
sure our way of doing things is superior?
Spring and autumn
The story of the friendship between the veteran journalist Bill Deedes and his
young colleague Victoria Combe - and, as she wrote in times2, also with Mary
Ann Sieghart - has been fascinating. There can be few women who have not had
the experience of an older male colleague taking an interest in them and it
is best for everyone if, like Lord Deedes, the man confines himself to
friendship. I cherish the comment made to me as a junior reporter on my
first paper by the sports editor: “You make a happy man feel old.”
carolyn in Munich,
as the Brits would say, what rot! This article was not about guns, it was about Patriotism. Americans are patriotic and many would be very surprised most young Britons are not. We as a people have great respect for the UK. Next to our own, we would easily rate the UK as the greatest country. Look at British influence throughout history, look at the stubborn pride of Churchill and Thatcher and what that acheived.
You rightly claim America has crime problems. But the UK tabloids make it sound like the wild west, this is nothing less than lies. Do you think the UK is crime free? Do you want to compare rates of home invasions, muggings, or theft? What about how proud Britons are not even allowed to defend their families in their own homes?
The fact of the matter is that the editorialist is correct. The British need to regain their national pride and end the abolition of Britain by multiculturalism.
Trey, Fairfax, VA
We're British when it matters
We're English, Welsh, Scottish and Irish when it doesn't.
JP, Newport, Wales
If, as in the USA, the swearing of the Oath of Allegiance gives to much cohesion to the country why is there so much violence? The school massacres, multiple deaths by individuals carrying grievances, etc. etc. Why the need for so many to own guns for their own protection and safety.
Why?
Carolyn, Munich, Germany
As an American Jew I'm damn grateful to the United States for having allowed my grandparents to escape the hellholes of Eastern European ghettos where they were raped and beaten on a fairly regular basis. As a teacher I make sure my class (of Mexican immigrants) recites the Pledge of Allegiance and sings the National Anthem each morning. I'm most proud of being American and it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. And yes, while my religion is Judaism, the vast majority of my countrymen are Christian and I support that as well-I am not looking to change my country or its culture in any way. There is nothing unsophisticated about loving one's country and being deeply proud of it. How sad that the English can't feel the same pride and uphold their culture.
Jem, Los Angeles, USA
Ho yes, the wicked British and their evil empire!!
Tell me: Why is it so many former colonial subjects, no doubt having suffered under colonial overlords, and having gained independence from the British only after a long struggle for independence, demonstrate their joy at being governed by their own people by coming to the UK?
Gordon Smith, Dudley, England. United Kingdom
In the great rush to embrace diversity, we've forgotten that unity is more important. Having a simple and unapologetic recognition of the many great attributes of being British is a fantastic idea.
I've never been happy with the bland "Bank Holiday". Renaming them something patriotic would be a good start. Might I also suggest the oath be taken on "Coronation Day", when the Queen was invested as the head of state?
Hugh, Orlando (ex pat), florida
Having lived in France for the last year I can say that my wife need not fear that I will run off with one of the local 'attractive' French women. Chic certainly does not apply round here and that foolish lady who wrote 'French women don't get fat' has obviously never been outside Paris! As for cooking, well, I think the French have become very complacent and have a lot to learn about the variety ,quality and skill that many British women (and men,but don't count me!)apply to everyday meals.
Brian Wildey, Fleurance, France
As an American who now lives permanently in Britain, I have to say you've just about got it right. The recent furor over 'the pledge' proposed for schools here leaves me shaking my head. Those who oppose it, and I've heard many celebrities on TV stating they'd never do it, seem to want the benefits of citizenship without the responsibilities. Every child over the age of 6 in America, and this includes recent immigrants, proudly declares allegiance in school, in scouts, in sporting events, and more. And yes, they do know also what it means!
Jane Hakes, Whitstable, Kent, UK
To JeJ, It's called the Great White Guilt. We all seem to have become apologists for, and taken on the guilt of, our ancestors for creating the "British Empire" and conquering/oppressing other races and religions. Of course I don't think the Romans or the Vikings ever apologised for invading and conquering Britain, did they?
LB, Auckland, New Zealand
'some two bit Marxist'
anthony surely meant to put 'tuppenny-hapenny marxist'.
OK, cheap shot....
Point taken, anyhow.
Stephen Fox, Oxford,
I found that article a bit schizophrenic, on the one hand the lady is saying we should take pride in being British and all things British, and then she follows it up with how the French have got it so right. Where it seems to be true that French women are renowned for their sartorial habits and we tend not to be, it is surely that we have a differing culture that we should be proud of - or as the French say vive la difference.
Melanie, London,
Has Sandra Parsons forgotten the name of this country is not Britain, it is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland? Two constituent countries simultaneously lending their names to the official banner of a state clearly gives the impression that the emotional identity of that country is elusive.
The only other countries to do this are Sao Tome-Principe, Trinidad & Tobago and Guinea-Bissau. Gives you an idea!
Sue Perkins, Coventry, UK
Looking around me and seeing the way this country is going I no longer want to be British and I thank God that I am in my twilight years and will not be here to see the end of this once great country
Raymond Thomas Brooke, Beverley, England
Re: "It's also a big part of the reason why ... for all our well-intentioned multiculturalism we do little to make anyone feel proud to be British. "
I'm not British but my heritage is English and I'm sort of proud of it (culturally), for which, I might add, I have been accused of racism or the lesser offense: being huffy.
I had one coworker tell me to take my MFA and go back to where I came from, because I reasonably argued we should have some standards for immigration. She followed this by saying she was sure I couldn't trace my family back seven successive generations in the US, to which I replied (NOT THE HECK THAT I'D EVER THOUGHT OF IT) "Then where were they?" Then she called me a 'cur' dog!
Because Indians and Spaniards founded America apparently "whities" are now interlopers and should go back to England where we came from.
Anybody know of a job in the UK?
I swear ALL of the above is true. I have never felt so disenfranchised... .
Elan Durham, Santa Monica, CA/US
An email was sent to me a few minutes ago stating that since British Muslims opposed any teaching about the holocast, it was taken out of the cirrculium in British schools, because they did not want to offend this group. Please tell me that this is not true...........how in the world can the holocast be denied??? This action should bring down a government, especially in a country which suffered so much during WW!!. I would very much appreciate a response.
Jim Watts, Kingston, Ontario, canada
Thank you for this article. Finally someone with some common sense, and good social judgement. I agree whole heartedly with your assessment, and I just pray that others will also....
Ryan Miller, Bournemouth, UK
Somehow, I feel that I cannot say I'm proud to be British in case it is misconstrued as racism. People can say they're proud to be black and they are simply (in my case anyway) considered to be justly proud of who they are.
If I said that I was proud to be white (which I have to say that I don't feel possibly beacuse of what it 'means'), I could well be considered a racist by some.
I was talkng to an Asian friend who said she only wanted to marry an Asian. I don't feel I could have said that I only wanted to marry a white guy even if I did...it could be misinterpreted.
Where has this come from? Am I gagging myself?
JeJ, Birmingham,
So long as those with influence continue to say one thing and do another, the matter will not change. Britishnesss in people celebrates fair play, industry, eccentricity, the humour of adversity and freedom of speech. Therefore, so long as such aspects are unacknowledged or vilified, when some two bit Marxist decides they cause offence, there is only erosion of binding commonalities.
So long as the Government peddle out policies that discriminate between people’s races, people will acutely sense the differences in treatment; cutting both ways.
So long as British icons are free fodder for someone’s vacuous and childish “inclusiveness†celebration, there will be ridicule for the idea of a celebrated diversity.
British feelings towards Britain reflect how the country treats them. Of course the immigants celebrate and the indigenous do not. Its not hard - but it is beyond the Government's ken or will to grasp it.
anthony, notingham,
For much of Labour's tenure in power, they have been doing all they can to make 'being proud to be British' equal to being racist. So to the Guardian and it's readership.
Now they have achieved what they wanted, ordinary people scared to stick up for their rights lest they be called racist; no one daring to question multi-culturism and they are not happy.
They want pride in this country. Well I for one am confused.
And for Billy Bragg to want patriotism when he was one of the first to call Morrissey a racist a few years back, when Morrissey dared to wave a Union Jack at a live concert is an hypocrisy.
James, Sherbrone, Dorset
I think you may have missed the essential aspect of the Civil Service Code: hypocrisy. Integrity, honesty and impartiality seem to be out. The threats about the blog Civilserf indicate that the Civil Service is all about protecting itself against any perceived criticism (even if accurate), hardly impartial or a demonstration of integrity, and they refuse to discuss the matter openly, clear dishonesty.
Perhaps children can be patriotic because they have not yet been exposed to all the nonsense that politicians and civil servants espouse on our behalf. If those groups determine the content of being British, it is no wonder people do not wish to acknowledge their allegiance.
John Scott, London,
Sandra Parsons, wins this debate hands down. You've said it better then anyone. Thank you.
"It's also a big part of the reason why America seems to have fewer problems with extremist Muslims than Britain, because for all our well-intentioned multiculturalism we do little to make anyone feel proud to be British"
I'd just like to back up her claim with a credible study/source:
"Six years of investigations and prosecutions have turned up little evidence of Islamic jihadists at work in the United States, according to a study released Monday" -- CNN
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/15/terror.study/index.html
"The study, conducted by New York University's Center on Law and Security"
Mohammed, London, UK