Tim Hames
2 for 1 tickets to Casablanca, this coming Monday
Far be it for me to steer you towards intoxicating liquor, especially first thing on a Monday morning. I do, nevertheless, feel bound to point out that the next two weeks are destined to be uncomfortable for those who like a tipple.
Tomorrow Andy Burnham, the Culture Secretary, will report on a review of the liberalised licensing laws introduced a couple of years ago and will apparently conclude that - while they have not done as much damage as is claimed - they have hardly created a continental café culture either.
Meanwhile, ministers elsewhere are considering subverting the competition laws to allow all supermarkets to increase the prices of drinks such as Bacardi Breezer and White Lightning, which are comparatively cheap and popular with the young - particularly the young working class. The Conservatives say that they would achieve the same objective through higher taxes on strong cider.
The attack on drink doesn't stop there, though. At the weekend it was reported that ministers are worried about binge drinking among the affluent and those aged 30 to 50. Such is the Government's concern that Alistair Darling is expected to target “middle-class wine drinkers” in his Budget in ten days with a sharp increase in duty.
Whether the Treasury is really able to target “middle-class wine drinkers” with the precision that it thinks is doubtful. Mr Darling surely cannot be assuming that all wine drinkers are middle class or that middle-class people consume only wine and not any other alcohol. How is this targeting to work? Will off-licences be listing two prices for Nottage Hill shiraz depending on the class of their customers? Will we be asked “and what school did you attend” before they hand over a bottle? When the Government finally imposes ID cards and seizes a swab of all our DNA for a database in case we turn out to be psychopathic killers, will it also be printing certificates of social status that have to be shown before the Pinot Grigio can be purchased?
The Chancellor would be wise to restrain himself.
This is, firstly, because the language of the debate is ridiculous. Ministers will never persuade the voters that they are really concerned about the medical condition of the middle classes. It is less the state of public health than the public finances that motivates Mr Darling. If there is anybody out there who thinks otherwise, then I have on offer to the highest bidder a recently taken photograph of Elvis Presley with Lord Lucan, both of them clutching the Holy Grail and with Shergar lurking in the background.
The sloshed of suburbia are simply part of a wider scheme to squeeze more money out of the taxpayer in a way that looks morally virtuous. The Chancellor is, after all, holding his Budget upon one of the earliest days on record in a crafty drive to pick up the extra revenue from indirect taxes three weeks before the next financial year has started. What is proposed is a stealth tax masquerading as a slurp tax.
It is also a fraudulent exercise in terms of policy. What supposed harm are “middle-class wine drinkers” doing to the rest of society? Is there any evidence that drunken fights on the streets at 3am on a Saturday are between two accountants who have hit the Châteauneuf-du-Pape too vigorously? Is the vomit in which the Daily Mail claims that Britain wades a result of 24-hour chablis bingeing? No, it is not. The middle classes, like everyone else, should be made aware of the dangers of excessive alcohol consumption - but the notion that what goes on behind their closed doors is the same as what might happen in pubs or on the pavements is crazy.
Nor does one suspect that this humbug constitutes very shrewd politics. The spectacle of a Labour Government dancing to the tune of the midmarket press on the hours that hostelries may open unsettles the stomach rather more than a few cans of White Lightning might do. Increased (and more diverse) sales of alcohol are the result of enhanced prosperity. It is not for the Cabinet to micromanage how we spend our money. In any case, by historical standards, it is far from clear that we are a nation gone utterly plastered.
The essence of new Labour's electoral success from 1997 has been its ability to fuse its traditional electorate (which has long been shrinking within the population overall) with those who were once naturally attracted to Margaret Thatcher (an increasing segment).
The love affair between the party and the middle classes, especially in the London area, has been strained enough over the level of taxation - as well as state schools deemed so inadequate that expensive private education is regarded as a necessity, not a luxury - without the Chancellor hinting about “targeting” the way that any money that is left is spent.
Nor would it be consistent with Gordon Brown's declarations that Labour has learnt to love market economics for a precedent to be established in which Sainsbury's and Tesco are permitted to scam a particular category of consumers over the cost of an item. The phoney environmentalism that once provided an alibi for the “fuel escalator”, with petrol prices surging above inflation year on year, should not be replaced by a fake sentimentality over the health of the middle classes' livers being used as an excuse to try the same trick with alcohol taxation.
My hunch is that Mr Darling understands this. He is a former lawyer now on £135,000 a year, which is middle-class by any standard, and I have seen him drink wine and appear to enjoy the experience (there is no indication of any bingeing, though after the Northern Rock business over the past several months, who could blame him?).
It is Labour, not the middle classes, who should stay off this bottle.

Tim Hames joined The Times in 1999 and is a columnist and Chief Leader Writer. He was previously a lecturer in American and British Politics at Oxford University
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Any increase in duty on wine will hardly affect the SE of England, whose inhabitants can fairly easily trip over to France every month or so to replenish their stocks by the case full !. But it will affect the rest of us, for whom a trip to France is a little longer than a day excursion and requires a journey across part of that great "carbuncle" known as "London".
Ross Bullock, Runcorn, UK
Until we change our cultural view that to see your best mate plastered after drinking a 2 gallon bucket of lager is somehow funny, then this will get us nowhere. Just another excuse for taxing the soft target. Those determined to drink, dont do it for the taste they do it to 'impress' their friends which they will continue to do even if it means drinking meths or surgical alcohol. Drinking is not the problem, it is being drunk.
Carol, Leicester, UK
It is none of Darlings business how much the middle classes or indeed anyone else drinks.
The problem is one of education and inculcating good manners and common sense from an early age.
As to people vomiting on the street and so on there are laws against it - being drunk and disorderly and disturbing the peace, and committing a nuisance in a public place - A night in the cells, and a stiff fine, early on would be enough to make most early stage binge drinkers think again. If the fines were stiff enough they would pay for the policing operation with something to spare.
Smoking is no longer portayed in films and on television. How about having a similar rule for boozing?
Michael Corby, London, ENGLAND
It'll be interesting to see if they make a special exemption for Scotch.
Doubtful Dick, Baden, Switzerland
It's all about control, and, as Mr Hames says, raising taxes for seemingly virtuous reasons.
Control your wine & drinks.
Control your car.
Control your health-care, ration it if you're not correct in your habits.
Control if you buy a holiday home.
Control your children's education to approved opinions.
Control your attitudes - be "PC", you know it makes sense.
etc, ad nauseam.
In short, your life to be in their hands and if you behave you'll be permitted a few crumbs and jollies.
"New" Labour's Brave New World.
Britain never never never will be slaves ?
Stan-emigrated, USA, USA
Raising duty on drinks will have no effect on binge drinking - other than the fact that those concerned will now have to get legless on just 10 vodkas rather than the usual 12. I doubt if anyone in Britain regards this proposal as anything other than yet another revenue raising exercise by an increasingly out-of-touch Government. A substantial fine on anyone found "drunk & disorderly" might at least have the effect of depriving the individual concerned of his drink money for 2-3 weeks !
Jim Scott, Prestwick, Scotland
I will know this man is serious about tax collection when he slams a tax on specialist mono-brow hair removing products.
David Williams, Eastnor, England
well we warned you all. When the smoking ban was introduced and accepted then this bunch would look for the next target - which was obviously going to be "stay at home drinkers" the vast majority now our glorious pubs have been emptied. The loss of income must be addressed.
Reap what you have sown.
John, Dover, UK
Your reporter ought to know by now that contentious "news" is always "leaked" before the budget to distract the electorate from the actual new stealth tax.
Tony, Rugby,
"Tap, tap, tap" ... Mr Darling hammers another nail into his own coffin!
Philippa, London,
Don't worry. This shower will be out on their ears at the next election. The middle classes have had enough.
Robin, London, UK
If this tax increase goes through, which on wine often represents the main percentage of the retail price, then this government will have stooped to a new low. The majority of Europe enjoys alcohol tax which is a fraction of the UK's AND HAS NONE OF THE PROBLEMS OF BINGE DRINKING.
The electortate will realise this, just as we will soon be receiving parking tickets through the post, this tax will be simply to raise money unfairly to spend on GORDO's latest ministerial initiatives to WASTE OUR MONEY.
David Nammory, Liverpool,
A bottle of wine in the evening is the only thing that makes living under NuLab bearable!
Rebecca, Tavistock,
This is what happens when you start to allow the Government to decide what is and isn't 'good for you'. Although this is about raising taxes (as the Government is running out of money) the justification used is health - we know what is good for you. With other legislation that has been introduced setting the scene for this scenario.
John, Reading, uk
The last Labour Government were taken to the European Court by the French - God bless them - for discriminating against wine drinkers by taxing the workers' beer more lightly, and the French will do it again if Darling tries another stunt like this.
Robert, Glasgow, Scotland
As Chris says - on Thursday last week in Hong Kong import duty on wine was slashed from 40% to 0% (and it was cut from 80 to 40% only last year) - in recognition of the fact that wine (particularly fine wine) is a way of creating a market and jobs. The expat community is toasting the Finance Secretary with vintage Bollinger, and our Chinese compatriots are looking forward to opening yet more wine bars in LKF - you can bet the mark ups won't diminish by 40%!
Clare Williams, Hong Kong, SAR China
Surely Alistair Darling will not attack "middle-class wine drinkers" in his next budget - he would be penalising the potential donors who were invited to Labour's fund-raising party in the Chelsea Suite at the Royal Horseguards Hotel
Or perhaps he regards them as upper-class drinkers?
Tony Pike, Betchworth, Surrey
The duty on wine and beer has barely kept pace with inflation since Gordon Brown became Chancellor and spirits, the base of all the alchopops driving our kids into alcoholic morons every weekend, has not increase one iota so what the hell is Brown and his lap dog Darling upto now and how do they reconcile their conscience with the nation's current drinking habits.
Hypocrites, complete hypocrites.
AWilliams, Cradley Heath,
Why is that, in the rest of Europe, where taxes, on alcohol, are so much lower than they are in Britain, they do not seem to have such a huge binge-drinking problem? Maybe it's time that governments, of all colours, wondered whether, or not, the reason for binge drinking in the U.K. is because it's such a miserably expensive place to live in. It's not just this government, it's the whole rotten lot of them.
I, many years ago and like many others before me, have voted with my feet and have a far better lifestyle, eating far better produce, for far less cost.
Marc, Paris,
What really rankles with me is the way this Government takes us all for imbeciles. They trot out their euphemisms for 'more taxes', coupled with some righteous blather about health or climate and seem to think we all nod our heads in solemn agreement.
What I'd really like is some good, old-fashioned honesty: 'Look guys, we're in the doodoo up to our ears through complete mismanagement of the country's finances and need more cash pronto - know you'll all understand. Love A. Darling'.
anne, bournemouth,
I will be booking my ferry tickets shortly... snigger...
Chantel, Wales,
It is pointless expecting the new licensing laws to have resulted in a continental style cafe culture within a couple of years. The British have made something special out of boozing for two hundred years or more and it will take more than a couple of years to see any change. The review referred to in the article would have no meaning unless, say, fifty years had elapsed from the licensing law changes.
Perhaps more Government encouragement towards greater affinity with continental lifestyles instead of believing that we are still fighting them on the beaches, would help.
Roy, Chinnor,
This will be a tax on those that live along way from the channel ports. We either pay the increased duty on our wine, or pay the increased duty on our fuel driving 500 miles to Dover. Mind you, this lot we've got up here would probably want to raise the duty by a few pounds a bottle, but then I'll be able to afford to drive to England.
David Leslie, Perth, Scotland
That's frikkin' hilarious.
Two pints of Petrus snakebite with an Ausone depth charge please stout yeoman of the bar..and two straws.
Kid Charlemagne, W10
Kid Charlemagne, Notting Hill, UK
We're already getting the 'stick a green label on it and justify taxing it' and now we're to get the 'stick a health label on it and justify taxing it'. I can't help feeling the government has run out of money.
i.e., Norwich, England
Drunkenness is nothing at all to do with the price or availability of alcohol and everyhting to do with society and attitudes. I live in Italy where it is normal to have house wine in a resturant for as little as £4 a litre. Good wine is available form the producers for very little from 4 euros a bottle and much less if you buy 5 litre containers and rebottle it at home as most Italians do. Yet in the three years we have lived here I have never seen an Italian drunk or even a little bit merry. People are interested and knowledgeable about wine. there are wine festivals and courses on wine tasting which are aimed at the average person rather than just the wine expert.
Drunkenness is despised and condiderd socially unacceptable at all levels of society. Obesity is also frowned on..
What is needed in England is not more tax but a different attitude. However with the present government in charge I can understand why people seek oblivion in the bottom of a bottle.
c chapman, corridonia, italia
The more this Government comes out with ignorant and definitely not "joined up thinking" proposals, the more I am convinced that it is a time for CHANGE (as proposed by Brown in his conference speech); that is a CHANGE of government which probably was not he intended!
M. Cawdery, Portadown, UK
I'm not sure whether the wine drinkers depicted in ancient Greek and Roman paintings, mosaics etc. were middle-class or not, but certainly people have been enjoying wine for thousands of years. Why is it suddenly being demonised? And what about the advice of Dr Stuttaford and others that a moderate consumption of wine can actually benefit health? If Mr Darling wants to raise duty, perhaps he should look at whisky, which Gordon Brown left unscathed year after year. Or, as he too is Scottish, is it sacred for Mr Darling as well?
Barry , Wallington, UK
Ahh, the New Puritans finally find common cause with their 17th century predecessors.
As the Prince Regent once said, "Pray bring me a glass of brandy. I feel quite faint."
Anton the Irascible, Melbourne, Australia
"Middle-class wine drinkers" is just code for "Conservative voters". A purely health-targeted tax would hit Labour voters disproportionately.
Nigel MacNicol, Oakham, Rutland UK
Do your worst Mr. Darling as my family hasn't paid any duty or UK tax on booze in more than 15 years. Since the limits of EU bought alcohol were removed in 1992 we all went twice a year to France on a cheap booze cruise to load up with enough wine and spirits for 6 months. In fact on one memorable occasion I had over 100 litres of Brandy from Spain and although customs at Dover clearly saw it in the back of my car they were more concerned by a modest amount of VAT paid Spanish cigarettes. This particular customs guy didn't even try that 'recommended allowance' crap on me as he apparently knew it broke EU law or knew that I knew it did and just waved me through. There is no reason for middle England to pay the extortionate VAT & Duty on wine and spirits even if you live 150 miles from a port. Sorry Mr. Darling, you'll have to find some other way of overtaxing middle england.
Mike, Alicante, Spain
Two things spring to mind here
a) what I choose to drink at home is none of the governments business. Their natural inclination to interfere is demonstrated by this desire to regulate my drinking. I am an adult and I'll make my own damm choices
b) I would like to suggest that Carling concentrates on his day job and possibly getting a grip on his predecessors profligate spending and closing the governments borrowing requirement
This is just another example of focussing on the wrong problem - methinks we have enough economic issues to be resolved without this side show on drink .
Tony , Cardiff ,
As usual our blinkered politicians ignore the inconvenient fact that price has nothing to do with binge drinking. Prices of alcolol on the Continent are much lower than the UK and yet, surprise, surprise, countries like France, Spain and Italy do not suffer from the same binge drinking problems.
bruce burniston, Swansea, UK
A sharp increase in duty, you say? Oh, dear, I had been expecting some form of cash incentive along the lines of the payments proposed for the fatties and unfit to remedy their respective conditions!
Well, as already observed, I expect the expected duty increase will do some good for the ferry companies and Eurotunnel.
m collins, Leeds,
Come to Hong Kong. They've just abolished all tax on wine. They've got a hefty surplus of funds too which Brown and Darling would kill for. Bad luck boys. 10 years of profligate spending gets you to where you are!
chris, hong kong, china
Looks like more trips to France then.
Must remember to fill up with diesel there as well.
Pity about the extra emissions though
John, Bromley, England
I'll drink to that.
michael tindall, Christchurch, new zealand
Cheers!
john, Skipton, North Yorks
"Mr Darling surely cannot be assuming that all wine drinkers are middle class or that middle-class people consume only wine and not any other alcohol."
I suspect that is EXACTLY what he plans to do.
Brown only liberalised alcohol so that he could tax it more heavily.
Edwin, Bucharest,