To: Daniel Craig

From: Mike Megahit, Stereotype Studios, CA

Dan

Fancy some lead-lined Speedos and a jet-powered drysuit? I kid you not. Check out www.sevmash.ru. These guys build boats in the Russian Arctic. They just landed a Kremlin contract to put together a floating nuclear power station the size of a football pitch, and we see you running and jumping and falling down all over it. We'll rent the damned thing if we can — build our own if we have to. Pinewood could handle it.

Here’s how we see the picture: forget all that Qaeda stuff. Way too last year. Forget Cherno-byl, too. What’s so evil about a screw-up? This baby takes us back to thermonuclear high noon faster than you can say “rebirth of Russian nationalism and the military industrial complex”. Much faster. We’re talking Putin in bed with SMERSH in bed with SPECTRE in bed with any other whacko acronyms you want to come up with.

Son of Putin, actually. We see a London 2012 dateline, and a courtesy call by our friendly-looking nuclear barge offering to help to power up the Olympics. Only it turns out to be less of a power boat and more of a boil-your-moat. Think poached Thames catfish for 200,000 and an ultimatum to hand over Boris Berezovsky or the Pool of London turns to steam.

Which is where you come in. Disguised as Boris. You’re choppered to the station with a Geiger counter in your iPod and plasticuffs for all 69 crewmembers in your briefs.

Working titles are Live and Let Fry and From Russia with a Couple of Tons of Plutonium. But my fave’s Dr Glow. All best, Mike.