Read about The Low Carbon Diet in times2 to-day? Feeling anxious that you might lack the will, or the willpower, to make it the cornerstone of an ecological, low-polluting, carbon-neutral, virtuous new you? Anxious that if you’re too zealous about climate change you might end up looking like Al Gore? Relax. Rome wasn’t built in a day. A few easy steps will build your confidence: Switch off the television when there’s nothing on worth watching; such as English national sports teams getting humiliatingly knocked out of yet another major international tournament.

Eat fish raw, like Japanese do (not fish fingers). Cook imaginatively: why boil water when you can just incubate a broccoli floret under each armpit for a tasty, slow-cooked, guilt-free snack?

Seek alternative sources of energy. Heat your home with all the hot air spent speculating about whether David Miliband will challenge Gordon Brown for the Labour Party leadership. Insulate your loft with the padding in Des Browne’s speeches when he’s struggling just to say “Sorry”.

In the office, unplug the computers. Yes, the effect is startling, isn’t it? Suddenly your colleagues are no longer buying things on eBay, or booking last-minute bargain weekend breaks in Barcelona. But has the output of work actually declined?

Reuse your bathwater to water the garden; wash the car; make tea (best not to tell guests).

Dump your dishwasher: instead just swab your labrador’s tongue with Dettol and then let him lick your plates clean (see note re guests, above).

Shun supermarket plastic bags: instead buy baggier clothes and carry your groceries home inside your roomy, new, 42-in-waist trousers.

You see? Not so painful after all, is it?