Do you have any idea how much Nicolas Sarkozy might have slipped us to have the leading article at the head of this column placed in such a prominent position in a national newspaper in Britain (not that we’re saying he did, mind; because that’s for us to know and for you to be kept in the dark about)?

Did you think it was only book publishers who paid folding money to have their merchandise placed under the public’s nose without the public being aware that the items showcased in bookstore windows have been assisted en route by a friendly financial nudge? Have you actually seen some of the books they put in their windows?

Iniquitous? Possibly. But any more so than, say, Paris Hilton hiring agents to raise her profile and, thereby, boost her earnings from showing up at movie premieres and nightclub launches?

Who dares say that Hazel Blears isn’t being “thanked” by a hair-dye company for turning her head into the sort of orange beacon that fog-bound pilots could use as a landing light? Or that John Reid doesn’t “look after” Tony Blair when he wants to coax a fresh Cabinet portfolio out of the Prime Minister? And how exactly, we might wonder, did Gordon Brown finally prise the keys to No 10 out of Tony Blair’s clenched fists?

And that new Olympics 2012 logo — are there any takers willing to bet their mortgage that it wasn’t a crafty bit of subliminal product placement by a jigsaw manufacturer? Still dubious? OK, try this test: name a make of wristwatch. Quick! Quick! Did you say “Timex”, which we learnt, from his visit to Albania last week, is President Bush’s favoured brand? Are you beginning to see how this thing works?