They said that live music couldn't be beet. They were wrong. In a real turnip for the books, a group have come along who play quavers on cucumbers and minims on marrows. In times2 today, the Vienna Vegetable Orchestra explain how to coax music from vegetables rather than conventional instruments. With squeaks on leeks and percussion on pumpkins (although mushrooms are disappointing; so often flat), they cover a range of genres from classical to dance music. Will the people of Huddersfield, to whom the orchestra will play next week, listen to some opera? The famed Porcini Hand is Frozen from La Bohème always goes down well, as do other classical pieces: Bach's Pear on a G String or Gershwin's popular Rhapsody in Greens.

As for pop songs, they should do something for the oldies - maybe Stir-Fry Me to the Moon - and will they treat their audience to a few Lennon-McCartney classics? A Chard Day's Night? From Pea to You? Or something from that great album Beatles for Kale? After all, Paul McCartney did crunch on a carrot on the Beach Boys' track, Vegetables. Perhaps Brian Wilson could do with a remake also: Rhubarbara-Anne would be great. They musn't forget the guys who got their kicks on Beetroot 66. And then to get the party going, they might cover something by the great rocker Robert Eggplant.

Whatever they play, the orchestra are bound to go down well in Yorkshire. Let us (please, not lettuce) hope that at the end of the night they will be able to say to their audience, as Tina Turner might do: “Thank you Huddersfield! You've bean Simply the Cress!”