Even the word “dirge” is depressing. That is the point. Its root, the Latin dirigere, means “to direct or guide”, and a good old-fashioned dirge intends to do just that: slowly, solemnly to sound out the departure of a loved one from this world. Listening to a piece of music so gloomy you would not even play it on a rainy winter Sunday is a sign of respect, if not of good taste in music.

But a poll of 45,000 Europeans suggests that, rather than opt for the mesmeric undertones of a dirge, we now prefer to bid adieu with a soundtrack that is, it must be said, slightly less grave. The current favourite funeral song of Europeans is The Show Must Go On by Queen. This is a travesty. The second most popular funeral accompaniment, a Led Zeppelin number, is not much better. Far too frequently, people choose Stairway to Heaven (No 2 on the list) when Highway to Hell (No 3) would be far more appropriate.

Mozart’s Requiem, in at No 5, is more attuned to the funereal spirit. But when did it become acceptable to bid a final farewell to dear old Gran with yet another Queen anthem, Who Wants to Live Forever? She may well have liked that idea. Indeed, she may have lived her life in the more robust spirit of We are the Champions.

Death is rarely a comfortable experience, of course. So, surely, if the dearly departed were alive to hear R.E.M. wailing their entry in the funeral favourites list from the nave to the very last pew, he or she might just feel the urge to wail back: “Everybody Hurts? Well, not as much as me now.” It is definitely time to prove the dirge is not dead and to hope that Muzak is completely absent from the afterlife.