Eating fish for breakfast, climbing vertically, and always landing on your feet. That’s a lot of performance pressure. And spending all day self-grooming requires an unwaveringly sophisticated sensibility. So it’s no surprise that feline health professionals have discovered that cats suffer from debilitating stress just like human beings. An Edinburgh University study reports that the biggest source of cat anxiety is rivalry with another cat in the house. Usually, it is the middle-aged, overweight, pedigree male cats that suffer the competition to the point of becoming antisocial. Declawing does not help their self-esteem.

Stressed cats should be fed wet food and given tuna-flavoured ice cubes in their water. But what if your pet prefers his cubes prawn-flavoured, thank you very much? Then be proactive. Determine whether your cat’s anxiety is motivating or destructive. An ailing cat, in the grip of unproductive stress, will appear lazy, will not be making good decisions. Of course a healthy cat will appear exactly the same. Check also whether your cat has been having trouble sleeping. Has your cat started watching extreme sports programmes in the middle of the night? Does your cat seem distant? Is your cat relying on catnip to wind down at the end of the day? Remind him to keep a positive attitude, to accept that there are events, and mice, beyond his control. Practise relaxation techniques with him. Nine lives is a lot to deal with. Finally, urge your cat to stop being so self-absorbed (there’s a world beyond that scratching post) and, most important, encourage him to manage his time more effectively. Catnaps aren’t supposed to take all day.