Every so often Nature throws up a bizarre phenomenon that seems to fly in the face of all known laws of animal behaviour; David Gest, for instance. Or the news that urban birds adapt to life in noisy cities by becoming louder, brasher and more raucous than their country cousins.

Scientists studying great tits have found that those which fly above noisy cities are the avian equivalent of Eminem, warbling punchier tunes, at a higher pitch, and sporting the avian equivalent of baggy jeans hanging below the hips to reveal designer-label underwear; whereas rural tits are still chirruping like Val Doonican, while sporting the plumage equivalent of 1970s stripy tank tops, shirt collars so broad you could play a game of hockey on them, and one of those country-dweller’s haircuts that look like they were done by the local sheep-shearer for pin money.

Researchers studying the calls of great tits in ten European cities have found that they have adopted such different types of songs from country tits that the birds may split into two species.

While the rural tit — maybe up in town for the weekend to do some Christmas shopping — is tweeting sweetly about how the early bird catches the worm, the macho urban tit is hissing back in rap (“Early bird catches the worm?/Birds like you, they make us squirm/ We’re urban tits, we like to nab/ A phone-in pizza or a doner kebab”), while cursing its country cousin for being a dozy Sunday afternoon flyer (“Will you look at how he flies? Hey, stay out of the fast lane, yokel-boy!”).

Something new for city twitchers to listen out for, then. To look out for, too, because who knows? Maybe bluetits aren’t bluetits, but just great tits who’ve been bruised in an urban brawl.