Trinidad and Tobago are islands of contrasts: they boast a combination of great beauty and a shocking rate of violent crime. Rather like Glasgow, in fact. So perhaps it is not so surprising that many Scottish football fans will be supporting the underdogs from the Caribbean when they play England tonight.

Glasgow has not yet resorted to importing English bobbies to help its police deal with the high murder rate, as has Trinidad and Tobago. But its residents have been so keen to deck themselves in T & T shirts that the strips are now impossible to find in Scottish shops and are fetching £120 on eBay.

So The Times humbly offers five good reasons why Scots should look beyond T & T in the World Cup:

1. England shirts are going for a song north of the Border. Think of the money that you will save.

2. When T & T are knocked out, what will you do in the later rounds? Will you ever wear those shirts again? Or will they lurk at the bottom of your cupboard, gathering fluff?

3. You can’t play Soca on the bagpipes.

4. England is just a tad closer to home than Trinidad and Tobago.

5. Now you’ve got your own Parliament, supporting England’s opponents looks a wee bit bitter.

Of course, all this rivalry would be resolved if the home countries formed a United Kingdom team. And, as Daniel Finkelstein, of our Fink Tank, has calculated, the combined team’s chances of winning would be a third higher than those of England.

But that would defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it? Winding up the Auld Enemy is all part of the fun.