IT IS bad enough that the 7:52 to Stockport burns it way through mountains of taxpayers’ money, but the concept of paying state aid, too, to the trainspotters at the end of the platform might come across as a sick joke. Not in the bizarre world of the left-wing thinktank Demos it doesn’t.

Yesterday, the group proposed that the Government make money available for people to pursue private hobbies, on the ground that amateur enthusiasts, be they artists or computer programmers, often come up with ideas that professionals do not and “could have a huge influence on the shape of society in the next two decades”.

I share with Demos my admiration for the army of enthusiasts hammering, typing and soldering away on their pet projects in their bedrooms. And that is all the more reason to protect them from the nullifying effect of public subsidy. I sympathise with the notion that bright ideas are sometimes more likely to emerge when great minds are freed from the influence of commercial paymasters. But public paymasters are far worse at smothering talent.

You can just imagine what it would be like if hobbyists had to seek approval from the busybodies at some government quango before receiving their handout. “No you can’t build a replica of the Golden Hind from matchsticks until you make your bedroom comply with the correct ventilation standards relevant to modelling glue. And no, you’re not getting a grant for a re-enactment of the Battle of Agincourt unless you show us how you are going to involve more women and acknowledge that they, too, were victims of the battle.”

Demos cites the case of Bill Gates beavering away in his bedroom in the 1970s while he was being rebuffed by the leading computer companies of the day. But if there was ever an example of why private enthusiasts don’t need public money to turn their ideas into commercial success, surely it is Microsoft.

The real reason Demos wants the Government to fund our hobbies is that it wants the state to control what we get up to in our spare time. It would be like the Soviet Union, where stamp collecting was much encouraged as a means of diverting minds from subversive activities. If the Government ever attempts to use my taxes to influence what we do in our leisure hours, I will be taking up a new hobby: throwing pies at passing ministers.