There are any number of conflicts that arise between parents and teenage offspring that, were their ties not made of blood, would threaten the relationship’s very existence. Money, friends, lifestyle and clothes are all potential flashpoints. But if there is a 17th birthday on the horizon, these are trifling irrelevancies compared with the main issue of the day — what the little darling will soon be driving.

Parents want something safe, slow, cheap to buy and cheaper still to insure. Their children, by contrast, would happily drive the automotive equivalent of a serial killer so long as they looked cool in front of their friends.

The first rule of first-time buying for a newly qualified driver is to think about the insurance before finding the car. Thousands of rookie drivers have found exactly the car they want at a price they can afford only to ring an insurer and discover they might as well be asking for cover on a Ferrari.

Charlotte Clough, 17, admits that when it came to thinking about her first car she “dreamt of something like a really fast Clio hot hatch”. But the “impossible” insurance meant she had to settle for inheriting her mother Liz’s 1994 Renault Clio 1.2. “We know where it’s been and that it’s a good reliable little car,” says Liz. “I know Charlotte would like something a bit more sporting with a bigger engine, but this will do for now.”

The Clio is eminently affordable insurance-wise but depending on your circumstances and postcode, insuring other outwardly modest cars, even on a third-party basis, can easily be a four-figure affair and might even exceed the price of the car. So draw up a shortlist of cars and then ring around: you’ll be surprised at how quickly many insurers will reduce an apparently non-negotiable premium if given the slightest hint that you’ve received a better offer elsewhere.

Amazingly, given the conflicting interests of parent, insurer and child, there are cars out there that can keep all parties happy. Perhaps the most conspicuous overachiever of them all is the Ford Ka.

About £2,800 is what you pay for a clean four-year-old with average mileage but its trump card is group 2 insurance. Most cars in this category have weedy 1 litre engines but the Ford offers a bombproof 1.3. It’s still no rocketship but it gives the Ka the crucial ability to cover ground quickly and without great effort. You could pay up to £1,000 more to buy a 1 litre VW Polo of the same age, yet save nothing in insurance and drive a car that will fry your brain after an hour on the motorway and offer no driving enjoyment on ordinary roads either. If you want further proof, compare 0 to 60mph times: the Ka needs just 13.7sec, the Polo a yawning 18.4sec. The Ka also has some style and on the right road is delightful to drive.

But if the Ka is perhaps the best car for a first driver, there are some teenagers who wouldn’t countenance the damage to their street cred of driving a Ford. If that’s the case, there’s no doubting where to look next: France.

Both the Peugeot 106 and its closely related cousin, the Citroën Saxo, make excellent choices for new licence-holders. In both cases, don’t be tempted by the 1.4 litre option as it will put your insurance through the roof. Instead go for the most basic 1.1 litre version. You’ll discover it offers unusually good performance partly because it has good power for its capacity but mainly because the car itself is so light. Both are good, if not great, to drive and while their interior trim and exterior finish may seem flimsy and poorly constructed, the underlying mechanicals are strong and tolerant of the unique form of abuse 17-year-olds alone can mete out.

Choosing between them is easy enough: the Peugeot is better looking, the Citroën quite a lot cheaper model-for-model. Go with the one that suits you best.

Also, don’t ignore the Fiat Punto. As a company, Fiat may be going through the fires of hell right now, but don’t let that put you off. The Punto is the kind of car that is never going to win one of those group tests you see in glossy car magazines, but as a second-hand buy for a first-time driver, it is among the most sensible steers on the road.

In an ideal world, the one to go for is the Sporting model, with a six-speed gearbox, beefed-up suspension and a zippy engine but, sadly, you’re likely to find your insurer rubbing his hands together at the very mention of its name. Pay about £3,300 for a five-year-old and see if it’s cheaper for your parents to insure it themselves with you as a named driver (you should bear in mind, though, that this way you will not accrue any no-claims bonus).

Failing that, you can pay almost £1,000 less for a rather more humble Punto such as a 60 S that will still be fun to drive. Moreover, it remains one of the most spacious cars in its class so the driver will be a guaranteed hit with his or her mates. And if there is any way you can find one with power steering you’ll be grateful for it every time you park: some small cars are light and easy to handle at low speeds; the Punto is not one of them.

Ross Grange, 19, has been mobile for some time thanks to his parents’ Ford Escort and has considered a Punto as his own first car, but is being drawn elsewhere. “I’m after something smaller than the Escort so it’s easier to park and I’ve looked at all sorts, including the Peugeot 106 and Fiat Punto,” he says. “But the best deals I’ve been offered are on Ford Fiestas.”

He is right. The Fiesta is an excellent car, eclipsed only by its cheaper, funkier Ka stablemate as a first-time buy. Ross, however doesn’t like the look of the Ka so the Fiesta it is. His budget is flexible and stretches up to £5,000 but spending that much on a Fiesta

will only mean he loses more of it in depreciation. The best of the old-generation Fiestas was the 1.25 LX and just three grand will buy him a three-year-old with an average mileage on the clock.

Of course everyone knows that if you want a really well-engineered small car that stands as good a chance as any of never going wrong, you need to look to Japan.

The words “Nissan” and “Micra” retain the ability to strike fear into the heart of any teenager, possibly because it’s what they learnt to drive first at their driving school, but only the true fashion victim should strike it from their list altogether. Your mates may laugh and ask where Big-Ears has gone but you’ll only need to leave them and their car waiting for the AA once for your laugh to be both loudest and the last.

Case history: 'Room, for my mates'

Samantha Witt, 17, drives a 1996 Fiat Punto 1.1: Sam’s Punto arrived last week when it was bought at auction on her behalf by a local dealer. Her mother Jane is happy because it feels strong and, at £1,500, she reckons she got a good deal — she’s right. Sam is delighted because she’s not only mobile, but her car is also black, the colour she was after.

“We considered all sorts,” says Jane, “including Fiestas and Clios and I know we should really have chosen something Asian like a Suzuki Swift or Daewoo Matiz.” Unsurprisingly that suggestion was not exactly welcomed by the younger generation.

“The Punto’s really great,” enthuses Sam. “Just the right colour, easy to drive and spacious so I’ll get all my friends in it.”