One day we’ll run out of petrol. Or, more worryingly, jet fuel. Already car manufacturers are turning to hybrid and electric cars; cars powered by rotten turnips, old chip oil and the fumes from an engineer’s handkerchief. The point is that in the future there will be cars to tow caravans. What there might not be is jumbo jets and that makes a foreign holiday a bit of a problem. Try asking your boss for six months off work to row a boat to Thailand. And another six to get back again.

The holidays of the future will be taken nearer home. We’ll go to Europe, but only if we can find the right socket to plug our electric cars into. The caravan will of course be the vehicle of choice. Everyone will have one.

The caravan will adapt to the energy-conscious future. We’ll see lighter materials, solar panels, nuclear-powered fridges and hydrogen-burning stoves. So it’s time some boffin had a go at bringing the caravan more up to date. Surely a new material could be used — like the carbon fibre on racing cars. Second thoughts, it’s too strong to blow up. The caravan loo is in dire need of modernisation. Shouldn’t we have something a little more advanced than a glorified bucket and a bottle of chemicals? Why not design a recycling potty that turns waste into fuel?

Ha ha, you say, what on earth does Hammond know about greenness? He blows caravans up with super unleaded and rocket propellant. And he drives a filthy-dirty old 1960s Ford Mustang with a huge engine. Well, this is where you’re wrong.

The caravan has got a wonderful future in the eco-friendly world. Currently I help recycle caravans by blowing them up but in the future they could be made out of biodegradable materials. Or even bio materials. Instead of plywood you could use a material grown from crops, such as crispbread. So when you’ve finished with your caravan I’ll come along and spread it with cream cheese and then jump a car through it and eat the small pieces afterwards. Yum.

Extracted from A Short History of Caravans in the UK by Richard Hammond, published by Orion at £12.99