Rating

Verdict Biblically bad

The Perodua Kelisa is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world.

Yes but, the argument will run, over three years it will cost you just 13.5p per mile. This also makes it the cheapest car to run. Fine, but the cheapest house is a small tent.

The Malaysian-made Kelisa has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim. It only has three cylinders, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. Also, its name sounds like a disease.

This is not some snobbish, all-right-for-me observation. This car is a piece of unimaginative junk, with no soul, no flair and no passion. And you can have proper engineering, with proper brakes and proper sound insulation for even less if you buy secondhand.

Cars like the Kelisa are for African taxi drivers, a rival for the moped and the mule. And I bet the people working in the factories over there simply cannot believe that 10,000 miles away people in the world’s fifth-richest country are buying them too. They must think we’re insane.

Current price £5,612

Price when tested £4,842

Engine 989cc, three cylinders

Power 55bhp @ 5200rpm

Torque 65 lb ft @ 3600rpm

Transmission Five-speed manual

Fuel/ CO2 55.4mpg (combined) / 121g/km

0-60mph 14.8sec

Top speed 88mph