The BMW Z8. It’s a cracking good motor, this. Looks a bit like a Chevrolet
Corvette, which is absolutely fine by me. I love those Yankee muscle cars;
the Shelby Mustang, the Dodge Charger, the Chevrolet Camaro Z28. Funny? Z28?
Sounds like Z8. Any connection, do you think? Anyway, there it is, a German
modern muscle car extruded from old American V8s to appeal to an American
market.
They love BMWs in the States, so a car like this is highly sought after. Over
here, however, where it’s only available in left-hand drive, it has had a
lukewarm reception. Which can only be because British motoring journalists
can’t drive and know nothing about taste — I don’t mean you, Jeremy darling.
Well, they can’t drive as well as me, I’ll bet.
How could they not love this baby? Yes, of course it will not stay with a
Porsche or a Ferrari through the turns, but as there are no turns in
America, only Stop and Go — and this car is very good at the latter — why
get all stressy about a little thing like handling? Anyway, bad handling
gives it personality.
“Grunt” is a technical term we used to have in Formula One to describe the
power delivery from the engine, as in: “This engine has no grunt” and “If I
had more grunt I could beat Michael Schumacher, no problem”. The Z8 has an
engine also found in the BMW M5 super-saloon and has so much grunt it makes
you smile like a dog that has just broken wind in the drawing room and knows
a human is going to get the blame. And it has a sound so deep and warm that
it makes babies go to sleep in less than six seconds.
Just sitting at the lights in this car makes you feel really kinda, well,
potent. Without going into the obvious Freudian observations about the shape
and position of the bonnet vis-à-vis the relative position of the driver, it
should suffice to say that it gives you a subtle confidence boost. Should
you need it, of course.
The look of this car — without the hood up, which just ruins it completely —
is simply stunning. From nearly every angle it displays a masculine grace
that few cars achieve without looking like a sex aid. The rear-end echoes
the shape of the speedboat-inspired 1964 Corvette. As do the large cowled
clocks on the dashboard, suggesting the 1960s infatuation with space
exploration, when plastic modular products were the new wonder — indeed, the
interior of the Z8 has that kitchen-of-the-future feel.
Certainly, in terms of the quality of the build and the beautiful way
everything is finished it is a good thing BMW had a go itself at
resurrecting this kind of sports car, because they simply did not have the
technology to produce Z8-type roadsters in the 1960s. Although they had the
looks, anyone who has driven one of those period pieces will tell you that
the suspension on them owes more to Zebedee from the Magic Roundabout than
to Brian the snail.
The Z8 is a good example of design recycling and BMW has hit a nerve with
regard to what a section of the market wants from cars today — a desire for
the good things of the past without having to go back to collecting Green
Shield stamps and buying premium bonds.
This is definitely a car for cruising. Motorways become freeways. The street
becomes the strip. Hood down, head up, shades on, wind in the hair, best
girl by your side. Quick blast from the lights and drift along at 30 looking
great (the car, too). There is definitely not the same requirement to race
along as there is with Ferraris and Lambos. In traffic, the Z8 throbs
happily, sounding like a bullfrog after too much beer and a curry, while out
in the country the low-end torque launches you out of corners as if you’ve
just been caber-tossed by Fat Bastard (from Austin Powers in Goldmember).
One blat of the engine will put you into geo-stationary orbit around Saturn,
and no need to rev the nuts off it.
This motor will pull from such slow revolutions that the piston can stop to
have a fag at top-dead-centre before heading off down the barrel again, and
you still don’t have to change down. All right, perhaps that’s an
exaggeration, but I do like to lollop along in fourth gear and just floor it
from about 2,000rpm, if only to hear the engine struggle to overcome the
inertia and eventually triumph with a wonderful growling sound from the
exhaust and a gnashing of tyres. Which reminds me, The Sunday Times owes me
a rear set.
But let’s face it, the Z8 is not really an everyday car, and it is too good to
have sitting around all year in the garage. So I reckon it is the perfect
car — not really a collectable, but a damn fine motor — for P1, the company
I set up to hire out machines to the supercar enthusiast.
We at P1 — for pole position — own the cars but after a cursory vetting to
make sure you are not insane let you drive them for a limited number of days
per year, all on the assumption that a) you would never under normal
circumstances buy one of these cars in your life, or b) that you vowed never
to be so foolish again after having owned a similar car for two years and
sold it at a whacking loss with only 2,000 miles on the clock because it
looked too good to drive, or c) you have absolutely nowhere to keep the damn
things because you live in London, or d) you fly in and out of the country
and do not want to drive a rent-a-module and be sad.
The nearest comparable car in the P1 stable is the Mercedes-Benz SL 55 AMG,
although the Merc is a far more sophisticated piece of kit — with
computerised stability control and a supercharger, which is why it costs
£90,000 — but it doesn’t have the rudeness of the Z8 and is much more
comfortable in the “urban cycle”.
At the other end of the rudeness scale is the AC Cobra. To tell the outside
temperature you just have to stop and wait for the wind chill to wear off,
so that car doesn’t get too much use. By far the most tried-out car in the
fleet is the Ferrari 360, with and without roof.
Members are advised to watch Havoc (episodes one through 20) before taking out
our cars, in the hope that they will appreciate exactly what they are
dealing with. So far they have been remarkably well behaved. It just makes
me realise what a hooligan I must be.
A good example of an everyday car is the Porsche 996, which you can use to
fetch the dry cleaning or drive to Paris for lunch. That car is bulletproof
and comfortable but regrettably has four-wheel drive, which makes it far too
stable and safe to drive for an old ex-champ like me — I think Porsche
owners tend not to take too many risks (very sensible). Anyway, we still
have them if the members want them, but I haven’t used them too often
myself. Come to think of it, I really should give the Porsches a go next
week. Maybe I’m turning sensible.
The whole point of P1 is that members have the opportunity to drive as many
cars as possible in one year. The Z8 is a great car, but so is the Aston
Martin Vanquish, and the Lamborghini Murciélago, and the Porsche 996 Turbo,
and the Noble M12 GTO, and the Ferrari 550 Maranello, and the Ferrari 360
F1, and the . . . Get it now?
Vital statistics
Model BMW Z8
Engine type V8
Capacity 4941cc
Power 400bhp @ 6600rpm
Torque 369lb ft @ 3800rpm
Transmission Transmission Six-speed manual
Suspension (front) aluminium wishbones, dampers coils, anti-roll bar
Tyres 245/45 ZR18
Fuel 21.1mpg (combined)
CO2 349g/km
Company tax £11,165 for higher rate payer
Acceleration 0 to 62mph: 4.7sec
Top speed 155mph
Insurance Group 20
Price £80,000
Dimensions 4400mm length x 1830mm width x 1370mm height
Verdict A cracker. It doesn't handle brilliantly but that gives it
character. In a straight line its power shines through so you won't be
embarrassed by any hot hatches leaving you for dead at the lights. Shame
about the roof though, which spoils its lines completely. Just pray for
sunny days and long straights and you couldn't wish for a better car
