As anyone who knows me will tell you, fashion and me are as strangers to each other. I am dressed by whatever looks cheap in the catalogues that fall through the letter box and have no more interest in what people think of my “look” than I do in theirs. Sometimes I notice people who look ridiculous — sunglasses indoors, reversed baseball caps, men driving convertible Ferraris while being fat, bald and middle-aged, that sort of thing — but otherwise it all just passes me by.

It’s the same with cars. I once bought a rare kind of Porsche and couldn’t understand why my more fashion-conscious friends giggled behind their hands every time I turned up in it. Okay, the car was a particularly vulgar shade of yellow, but how was I to know that it made me a laughing stock? And this is why I am here, firmly wedged into the Mitsubishi Evolution IX corner. I’m sure that driving around the place in a bewinged Japanese tin box is not in the least bit good for your credibility among style victims. I’m not sure if it makes me look like a footballer, a Big Brother contestant or a truly discerning driver. All I am sure about is that I couldn’t care less.

Naturally, Nick Rufford will have got you convinced that driving a Lotus is more fun and more stylish. The Exige is “ill” (as in great), “phat” (as in cool), but for those of us who have grown out of such pubescent obsessions, there really is no competition.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t dream of rubbishing the Lotus Exige just to make the Mitsubishi look good. Believe me, the Evolution IX FQ-320 can do that all by itself.

Ask yourself this simple question: what else can you buy for less than £30,000 that will put 326bhp under your right foot while carrying your family in the back and enough luggage for a fortnight away in the boot? Then ask if there is another that will do all of this and take you from 0-62mph in 4.5sec or around a track with the poise and precision to beat many supercars.

Consider, then, that while the Evo IX does all this, it is also keeping you safe with one of the most sophisticated four-wheel-drive systems ever put on sale. Finally, take into account that its design has benefited from more than 10 years of competition in, and often at the front of, the world rallying scene.

It is at about this time that the Subaru Impreza lobby will rear its tediously predictable head. While the Impreza is similar in design it is dramatically different in execution and no truly serious driver faced with the choice between the two could ever drive home in a Subaru. A show-off? Yes. A driver, no.

The Evolution IX is the culmination of 12 years evolving and refining the same basic concept. It still has the ability to absolutely stagger those not yet Evo-literate, but benefits from the injection of some much-needed civility. If you don’t mind the rather unforgiving ride quality, you could use an Evo every day and for all purposes — from shopping to taking you and your family on your holidays in air-conditioned comfort. It would be interesting to see how Rufford’s Lotus got on in these circumstances.

Of course, if you do put the Evo on the track it will astonish you even more than it does on the road. Put simply, it does things that cars are not supposed to be able to do.

Drive into a corner too fast and lift off the accelerator and, like all except the most stodgy of cars, the Evo will start to spin. But instead of throwing you backwards off the track, so long as you have the courage to tread on the accelerator, its four-wheel-drive system with active centre differential and active yaw control will sort you out.

One of the few times that I convinced myself I was some kind of driver was when driving one of these on bald tyres in the rain. It was only when I stepped into something else that I realised my performance had almost everything to do with the car and almost nothing to do with me.

That’s the thing about the Evo — it makes a hero out of everyone who drives it. It will keep safe and inspire confidence in the complete amateur, yet it will also keep amused and engaged the seasoned professional. And however good the Lotus is, anyone who is less than extremely experienced with phenomenally quick cars is going to find the way it goes about its business intimidating in the extreme.

Then there’s this last little thing I’d like you to think about. For all its speed, the extraordinary driving experience it offers, its fabulous motor sports pedigree and ultra-high-tech hardware, the Evo remains just a Japanese tin box. Which, to some, will mean it’s not worth considering; to others, however, it may be all that’s needed to convince them the Evo is right for them. For it means the Evo comes complete with the same three-year unlimited mileage warranty as any other Mitsubishi and is as likely to leave you broken down at the side of the road as I would a hitchhiking Uma Thurman.

Besides, if I really still wanted a Lotus, I could always pick up a lovely second-hand Elise with the £14,000 I’d save by buying the Evo rather than Rufford’s Exige.

Model Mitsubishi Evolution IX FQ-320
Engine type 1997cc, 4 cylinders in line
Power 326bhp @ 6700rpm
Torque 305 lb ft @ 4300rpm
Transmission Six-speed manual
Fuel/CO2 21.6mpg (combined cycle) / 334g/km
Performance 0-62mph: 4.5sec / Top speed: 157mph
Price £29,999
Rating Five stars