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You have to hand it to Porsche. At the press conference for this, its new
Cayman (as opposed to the existing, rather quicker, Cayman S), it made two
statements. One was about the car but the other was about how clever and
profitable Porsche was.
Immodest to the point of arrogance, but then Porsche is a company that appears
unable to do wrong. Even when it produces something as inappropriate, ugly
and flawed as the Cayenne it still becomes a bestseller. So it is perhaps
understandable and even excusable that this appears to have gone to its
head, particularly when little more than a decade ago Porsche appeared to be
beyond economic resurrection.
Nor should we forget that most Porsches are still dreams to drive. There’s no
slickly marketed mediocrity, no sense that you can cut mechanical corners
just because a large proportion of Porsche drivers couldn’t tell a
fine-handling car from a milk float. Porsche’s engineering values are as
high as they come: if you are BMW or Mercedes you simply cannot ignore
engineering integrity like this.
Which is why it feels so strange to be writing about a slightly disappointing
Porsche. If you forget the Cayenne, as I try to, there is no other Porsche
I’ve struggled as hard to appreciate.
It’s like a £44,080 Cayman S that’s had the stuffing knocked out of it. Its
2.7 litre engine develops just 245bhp instead of the 295bhp of the S, its
gearbox has just five gears, there’s softer suspension, smaller wheels and
smaller brakes. Sure, it’s cheaper than the S and the £36,220 price tag
sounds like a decent saving. Until you realise it’s still £3,050 more than
an identically powered Boxster, which uses the same platform and comes with
a convertible roof.
This is marketing gone crazy. When the apparent anomaly is pointed out,
Porsche says the Cayman is quicker than the Boxster, although that is
impossible to detect. It also says it has more luggage space than the
Boxster, as if that’s a serious concern to anyone looking to buy a small
two-seat sports car.
The truth that dare not speak its name is that the Cayman is positioned above
the Boxster in the model hierarchy, so it has to cost more. In the same way,
Porsche refuses to equip the Cayman S with a limited slip differential, not
because the car does not need one (it does), but to do so would make it
quicker around a track than a much more expensive 911. And that would never
do.
Seen in isolation it’s rather easier to make the Cayman’s case. It steers with
that easy fluency Porsche finds so simple but which eludes its competitors.
Its control weights, from the wheel past the gearlever to the pedals, seem
not only individually ideal but perfectly matched. And if you show it the
whip, the engine responds with all the energy and enthusiasm you’d hope from
a car wearing the shield of Stuttgart on its nose. Push it to the limit in
the corners and you’ll find it involving, indulgent and sometimes little
short of inspiring.
I just wonder who’s going to bother. The only people I know who would push the
Cayman as hard as required to savour it at its best are not the sort who
would buy one knowing that the proper Cayman, the one that delivers far
greater thrills for considerably less effort, is but a few extra quid away
on the monthly drip. And if you’re not going to thrash it to within an inch
of its life, why would you not save the money, buy a Boxster, drop the roof
and really pose? Time and again in the Cayman I was taken back to the
cockpit of a Nissan 350Z I recently drove. For £10,000 less than the Cayman,
Nissan provides a two-seat coupé that’s better looking than the Porsche but
with the same power as the range-topping Cayman S. It’s a riot to drive,
too.
But it’s not a Porsche, and that’s what Porsche is banking on. The company’s
experience with the Cayenne has told it the Porsche brand is so strong not
even something as absurd as a two-ton off-roader can damage it. It knows
that faced with the choice of a Nissan or a Porsche, the former’s power and
value count little against the image of Germany’s most coveted car maker.
But were I faced with that choice, would I really take that Nissan over this
Porsche? If it meant an extra £10,000 in the bank, you bet I would.
THE OPPOSITION
Model Nissan 350Z £26,345
For Great value for money, very fast, handles well
Against Lacks Porsche image, quite thirsty, firm ride
Model BMW Z4 Coupé 3.0si £31,400
For Terrific straight-six engine, alternative looks
Against Cramped and messy cabin, poor visibility
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