In all my years doing this job, I don’t think I have seen anything more sinister than seven Maybach 57S limousines hauling down a motorway in convoy at a steady, silent 100mph. I was in the middle, three ahead and three behind, and couldn’t help feeling a little like a Russian businessman. After all, who else, royalty included, would spend £2m on seven cars? It may be that the emergence of money from the former Soviet bloc will yet come to the rescue of the struggling Mercedes luxury brand. Launched in 2002, it was claimed that production of the Maybach range — which now includes the 57, 57S and 62 — would be limited to about 1,000 cars per year, a figure that seemed low at the time but now ludicrously over-optimistic.

Not long before we drove the 57S an edict was issued by head office ordering staff not to discuss Maybach sales, although one did bravely venture that if I speculated they were selling no more than half that original number “you would not be hearing from our legal department”.

It’s not hard to see why. In traditional markets such as the UK and Germany, the ostentatious wealth statement on wheels is passé; so while there may be thousands of people capable of spending £256,465 on the Maybach 57 or even £289,090 on the 57S, few feel inclined to do so.

Which brings us to this, the Maybach 57S. Having made the brand as luxurious as possible, attention has been turned to making it as fast as possible. Some might think the old 542bhp 5.5 litre twin-turbo V12 engine was hardly lacking in steam, but now we have a 6 litre version pumping out 612bhp. It’s enough to pick up this 2.7 ton car and hurl it to 62mph in 5sec flat and on to a top speed that would doubtless be past 200mph were it not limited to a scarcely more sensible 171mph. It has stiffened suspension and bigger tyres with some subtle styling enhancements that improve the look of the car without making it in any way attractive.

Part of me wants to damn this car for its needless profligacy, its dubious taste and, above all, its price. A Bentley Continental Flying Spur is just as quick, feels no less luxurious and has a badge that stinks of prestige, yet at £115,000 it costs £174,090 less. So you could have the Bentley, a new Ferrari F430 and still have more than £50,000 left in the bank. The Maybach argument is that anyone considering one of its cars will already have a Ferrari and a Bentley, so the comparison is never made. My argument is that the car is still too damn expensive.

But then, when I recall sweeping across southern Spain at the helm and in the passenger seat, there were things about it that were hard to forget. There was the silken punch of the mighty V12, its bizarre agility in corners given its size and weight, its astonishing ride quality and the hushed silence of its interior. Maybach described the car as the most sporting luxury saloon in the world, which got me giggling until I drove it. This is an exquisitely engineered car.

Does that make it worth the money? Of course not. Two days after stepping from the Maybach 57S I drove a new Mercedes S-class, a car that makes all other luxury cars feel outdated. In S 500 form it is scarcely slower than the Maybach, and with a long-wheelbase body it is hardly less spacious, either. It has seven gears instead of five, a dazzling array of technology and the most sophisticated seats it has been my backside’s pleasure to occupy. Yet its price is less than a quarter of the Maybach 57S’s. Nothing I’ve driven makes the Maybach seem more pointless than this.

Then again, I profile about as closely to a Maybach customer as our prime minister does to a traditional Labour voter, so perhaps I just don’t understand the buyer’s mind. Of one thing, however, I am certain. When it comes to telling the world how many millions you have, there’s nothing better on the road. How much must you have to blow £300,000 on one of these?

VITAL STATISTICS

Model Maybach 57S
Engine type 5980cc, 12 cylinders
Power/Torque 612bhp @ 4800rpm / 737 lb ft @ 2000rpm
Transmission Five-speed automatic
Fuel/CO2 16.4mpg (combined) / n/a
Performance 0-62mph: 5sec / Top speed: 171mph
Price £289,090
Verdict Looks better in Red Square than Eaton Square
Rating 2/5

THE OPPOSITION

Model Rolls-Royce Phantom £216,950
For Beautifully engineered, ride quality, sense of occasion
Against If you can live with the looks, only a little too much wind noise

Model Bentley Continental Flying Spur £115,000
For Terrific interior, great speed and space, good value
Against Looks, ride and refinement not best in class