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John Major used to be laughed at when he claimed as an advantage that “at least my party is having a debate about Europe”. He made this point because, in the face of the political disaster engulfing him, there was nothing else he could say. The irony is that in many ways he was right.

All this may seem politically impractical and, of course, at the moment it is. But political rules can always be changed.

Here’s where we can start. In the US, abortion and stem-cell research are party issues. In this country we allow individuals to decide. Perhaps it’s time to extend the range of topics over which we allow this freedom.

Hacked off by hecklers

THE ANNOYING thing about hecklers is not that they interrupt, but more that they invariably regard themselves smugly as having made a devastating point to which there is no reply.

It can all go wrong, of course. A couple of years ago, William Hague arrived on a visit to find a protester had been waiting overnight to shout at him. As Hague got out of his car and disappeared into a building the man had seconds to make his point after waiting so many hours. He called out: “William Hague, you are the leakest wink.”

Usually, however, the protesters get their point off more cleanly.

Last week my colleague Mary Ann Sieghart witnessed Tony Blair being heckled as he visited a school. “What about the children of Iraq,” a parent shouted, doubtless thinking he had been extremely clever.

Blair got into his car and was driven away. He must have had the patience of a saint not to rush up to the heckler and shout: “The children of Iraq were the whole point, you great idiot.”

Winning ways

LAST YEAR I attended a quiz evening organised by Pen, the organisation that campaigns for literary freedom. It was the equivalent of a fish ’n’ chips night in a Scout hut, except for the fact that it was held in the Savoy and involved competition between teams from all the national newspapers.

The competition ended in a thrilling draw, with the winner determined by a tie-breaker. I was then hugely amused to see that for months people wrote entire newspaper columns complaining about the way they were cheated and arguing about the correct answers to questions.

This year The Times won by miles. I am equally amused to note that the event has appeared in no one’s column.

Except mine.

Useless, utterly useless

THERE have been many nominations for the most useless basic product, although, in my view, the coffee table didn’t come under serious challenge. I thought a soapdish was a good suggestion. And someone also suggested “a politician”. I suppose I asked for that.

daniel.finkelstein@thetimes.co.uk

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