From the outside you'd assume that Alison, 35, and Philip, 36, have it all. Despite the credit crunch, both their careers in TV production seem on the up and they appear blissfully happy.

Since they both put in long hours at their respective companies, surely at home they applaud each other's efforts? Not quite! Alison confided that she feels compelled to play a game of oneupmanship with Philip. “When he received a promotion last year, part of me envied his new job title and pay package and I congratulated him through gritted teeth. What's wrong with me?” she asks. “I do love him!”

Details then unfolded of their competitive relationship. You know the sort of squabbles: “I've worked longer than you today and you haven't got the dinner on”; or “Last weekend I was at it non-stop when you had time with your friends and I thought for once I could take it easy”.

Competition is hugely destructive for a couple but our daily levels of stress mean that it's not so surprising. It's hard to be considerate of our partner's situation all the time or be thankful for good things - such as promotions - that happen to them.

Recognise yourself? Then let your mind rewind to a time when you didn't feel like adversaries, when you were happy that your partner did well and appreciated that you both work hard. Make it habitual to remember this good feeling. Resist believing his or her success is a poor reflection on your efforts when it's good for you both. Get practical about chores, dividing tasks so you don't snap over who's done what. Hold that tongue before jumping in to criticise because secretly you've harboured competitive feelings.