Deciding to work abroad is relatively easy when you’re young and single. Once you have a family to consider, the offer of an attractive overseas job presents a tricky dilemma.

Ken and Dianne Keag moved to Indonesia in 1981 with two young children in tow – Adrian, then 3, and Natalie, 1. Ken, a geologist, had spent nine years in the UK oil industry and wanted a fresh challenge. But their first year abroad was “purgatory”, he says. “We were living in a hotel for six months. When we finally found a house we had all sorts of problems with things like electricity and water, and when our one-year-old cracked her head open and we found ourselves experiencing the local healthcare system, we were wondering why we’d done it.”

After that shaky start, the Keags fell in love with expat life and stayed in Indonesia for six years. “About a year into it we knew we had found our feet. There was no one point where it all made sense, but we stepped back, took a breath and realised we had made a home and found a network of people.”

Jonathan, their third child, was born in Indonesia, and the family went on to live in the US and Ecuador. Ken and Dianne are now based in Equatorial Guinea, where Ken is vice president for West Africa for US-based Noble Energy.

The Keags were keen to instil in their children an awareness of both the privilege in their own lives and the social disparity around them. “We encouraged them to try to do whatever little bits they could in the community. They established friendships that have transcended the years and the miles, and they hugely benefited from the experience,” says Ken. Seeking stability for their exam years, the children opted for boarding school in the UK.

Moving abroad was a particular challenge for Dianne. A qualified teacher, she gave up her career but was “not prepared to join the bridge and tennis set”. Instead, she threw herself into various projects – from establishing a student exchange programme at the British Council to teaching English. “She has had frustrations,” her husband says. “Every move we’ve made has been much tougher for her. I walk straight into an office wherever we go; she’s setting up home and social life. But it’s a team, and each person has a lot to contribute in the equation.” Sharing the expat experience are Mick, Janet and Ben Jackson, who left Guildford for Delhi in 2006. Mick Jackson is country manager for Premier Oil in India. It was a tricky decision: “Janet had established a new career as a counsellor and Ben was settled at school. It was clear that India would be a challenging posting – health, security issues and schooling for a start. But we could see that it would be a great opportunity, both professionally and family-wise.”

Eleven-year-old Ben is thriving at the American Embassy school, which has pupils from 51 countries. “We feel that this broadening of his experience, coupled with living in a less advantaged country where, through the voluntary work he is involved in, he sees and interacts with children less fortunate than himself, has been a major benefit,” Mick says. Both father and son now dread the day they will have to leave India. “Being country manager for an emerging business in one of the fastest growing economies in the world will be a hard act to follow.”

Again, the move has been more difficult for mum – but having put her own career on hold, Janet is channeling her energies into a distance-learning MSc.

Both families agree that living abroad puts a strain on old friendships. While the expats are keen to share their stories, those left behind don’t always want to listen.

Their advice to others considering a move is to think it through carefully – and, if possible, to visit the country first. The challenges involved are immense, but so are the rewards. And while it hasn’t all been easy, both the Keags and the Jacksons say that living abroad has provided a priceless opportunity to see things from a new perspective.

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