Is your employer a snake, a bear or an ostrich? Yes, there’s a new management book out and this time its sales-boosting innovation involves comparing your bosses to animals.

Timothy Johnson, a US business consultant, tells all in Gust, the “Tale” Wind of Office Politics. Rivalry is always intense for the accolade of worst-named business book of the year, but I know which one my money’s on.

Johnson says that working with iconic companies such as Wells Fargo has allowed him to spot three key office animals. The snake steals credit and will back-stab you to get ahead. The bear won’t attack unless provoked, and tends to play political games for a purpose other than personal gain. The ostrich keeps his head down.

It’s a shame he stops at three. How about the corporate flatfish? They’re usually beige, floundering, with eyes extremely close together. It’s easy to walk on them without even knowing. Or the workplace llama. Cute-looking, apparently harmless and very woolly, they are equipped with three sets of fighting teeth designed to rip off rivals’ genitals when things get rough.

And what of the office gazebo? Oh. Sorry, that’s a different management-book concept entirely: is your boss a well-known garden structure archetype?

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