Pencils ready:

1. In a meeting your boss tells your client that he needs to open his kimono if the project is to succeed. You:

a) Shriek like a schoolgirl and close your eyes

b) Nod in agreement. There’s no getting ahead without a frank discussion of the company’s true financial situation

c) Hope you hid your confusion better than the client did

2. Spreadsheets are:

a) The main reason you didn’t study accounting

b) Fascinating. Especially the way you can make them say whatever you want

c) So far you’ve got through by bribing your little sister to put them together for you

3. Project team dinners:

a) Should come with a “plus one” invitation so you don’t have to talk to colleagues all night

b) Can be justified to clients as a valuable team bonding tool

c) Ooh, free food

4. It’s time for your 360-degree evaluation. Do you:

a) Make the effort to iron both sides of your shirt

b) Greet the occasion with enthusiasm. Understanding what people think of you will help you to improve

c) Hope the colleagues you paid off remember their lines

5. An experienced colleague advises you that it’s easiest to swallow the frog early in the morning. You:

a) Smile and back away

b) Agree. It’s better to get nasty jobs out of the way than to have them hang over you

c) Make an unPC comment about French people

6. International travel is:

a) What you do in your holidays, if you had time for them

b) A great opportunity to increase your billable hours by working on the plane

c) Does Slough count as another country?

7. Does your boss use seagull management?

a) No, but I suspect he may race pigeons in his spare time

b) Of course not. My boss is an inspirational leader... is this part of her 360-degree evaluation?

c) Huh? Seagulls are stupid creatures that fly in and poo on... oh, I get it. Yeah, sure

8. How many times have you mentioned “multi-sectoral key deliverables”?

a) Once, when last year’s grad trainees hypnotised me

b) Any time there is an obvious commercial imperative

c) Quite a few, but I didn’t have any idea what I meant

Mostly a: I’m surprised you made it this far. This isn’t the profession for you.

Mostly b: You’re feeling smugly confident right now, aren’t you? You ticked all the right boxes and there’s no doubt that you’re smart, sharp and will make an admirably brown-nosed team member. But you won’t make it to the very top by slavishly following the latest management trend. It’s time to think outside the box, baby.

Mostly c: I expect you want me to tell you to retrain as an actor or a teacher or something. Well, don’t. As long as you bring in the business – and keep your more cynical tendencies under control – you’ll do just fine.

Mostly irritated by the lightweight premise of the quiz: Don’t worry, I’m not being rude about consultants. Of course I take you seriously. You’re very important.

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