Virginia Matthews
The man, the films, those blondes. Free DVD collection starting this Sunday

It may be true that it’s the thought that counts, but when it comes to distributing 500,000 condoms engraved with the company's details - as one firm did to staff last Christmas - there may be a case for keeping your thoughts to yourself.
“We think it was the marketing department that came up with that one after their own Christmas lunch,” says Colin Nickless, director of the Devon-based Business Gifts UK, “and it was certainly a novel proposal. But as the firm is ordering standard calendars and pens this year, we can only assume it didn’t go down too well.”
When it comes to distributing largesse among close associates, the unwritten rule of "business gifting" is to choose something appropriate.
Yet judging by our Top 10 list of genuine unwanted gifts bestowed on PAs by thoughtless bosses in the last few years – provided by Business Gifts, Crone Corkill, Reed Employment and others - it appears that it really is more blessed to give than to receive:
• A signed and framed photograph of the boss looking manly behind his desk (just when you were looking forward to forgetting him for a few days).
• A DVD featuring the live version of Slade's Merry Xmas Everybody.
• A light-up pair of reindeer horns which only light up on one side.
• A detailed photograph of the office Christmas party at which you can clearly be seen snogging the postroom boy. Signed by members of senior management.
• A tasteless set of itchy, satin lingerie. Three sizes too big and wrapped in a charity-shop bag.
• Two tickets for a Rod Hull and Emu lookalikes contest for a London-based PA just over from Romania. It was in Berwick-upon-Tweed.
• A £5 book token together with a reminder that everyone will be expected to come in an hour earlier from the New Year.
• A two-hour, digitally remastered tape recording of the boss’s annual sales conference speech as centrepiece to a "goodie" bag containing elastic bands and paperclips. Complete with coughing and chair scraping.
• A 300-page compendium of Les Dawson jokes which you just know you’ll be hearing all year.
• A heartfelt, handmade Christmas card recording all the sentiments of the season, together with a holly-decorated P45. OK, we made that one up, but would it really be such a surprise?
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This takes the cake... My boss a new Nurse manager in a catholic Hospital in Manchester NH, gave me a 3 ounce travel sized lavender hand cream along with a 3 ounce bath gel. Both were wrapped up in a used bag.
I never acknowledged the... ahem .... gift. I was too embarrassed for her
Nurse, Manchester, NH USA
2006 - my boss sent me over £150 of booze, I gave him a bottle of expensive (for me it was expensive) dessert wine. He gives me vouchers either boots or music for my birthday last year he had a bottle of whiskey that's hard to get away from the isle if's made on. 2007 - he sent me more booze including wine and spirits, but thoughtfully did ask if I was ok with this or if I wanted something else. In return I sent him 12 bottles of mixed wine...from a different company!
mary, gloucester, england
Two used - and non-corresponding - bicycle pedals.
Jonathan Stiles, Helsinki, Finland
A box of Celebration chocolates. He was so happy to give us that as if he was giving gifts to the poor and needy
Sarah, london,
A few years ago I worked for a College with about 60 support staff. A large box of Thornton's chocolates was circulated one Christmas with the message that there was enough for one each. I declined my share.
On a happier note, this year I received a very nice bottle of wine, a large box of chocolates, a week's pay as a bonus and a lovely Christmas party.
Chrissie, newcastle,
Pressies from the boss in the navy were usually lots of alcofool. My ex-boyfriend works for Virgin Trains, they all get a Virgin Trains calendar... lovely. I now refuse to take part in the consumerist holiday and simply celebrate Christmas traditionally. Much nicer.
Jennifer Hynes, Plymouth, England
I got a basket of cheese and chocolate from my boss. It was the very same one I got him last year, even my card to him was still in it.
Grathwold, Trent,
This year the 6 of us on our team chipped in and gave our boss and his wife a trip on a wine tasting train through the Napa Valley. The day after we gave him this present he called us all into his office and gave us .... slippers. Gee, thanks. So pleased we all gave $50 towards his present.
Roan, San Francisco, CA, USA
I work for a Local Authority. If any Christmas gifts are sent in, they are confiscated, and raffled for charity
Marcine, stourbridge, uk
Got nothing this year - but then I didn't give my boss anything so expected nothing.
Used to have a lovely boss who would give me small tokens of appreciation at Christmas. Champagne and chocolates, a photo frame, that kind of thing. I always had a similar gift to give to him.
Naomi, London,
I work in an unexalted role within Tesco.
They made billions last year & are giving us chaps a big fat nothing for Xmas bonus. Thanks Terry.
P Davies, tamworth,
I am a "Boss" no... rephrase to I am "The Boss" I manage a group of highly specialized IT professionals, the top notch 150K+ per annum sort. I employ 9 of these rare specimens. This year I bought them the "Lego Bionics" package, which I must say made quite an impact on them. At the annual Christmas get together last Thursday, 7 of them were still in the office at 03:00 AM building their Lego bionical robots. They actually did all look like 7 year old kids playing enthusiastically with their new toys. As for my PA .... an all inclusive 2 day health farm thingie.
These presents are not only a token of appreciation but also a big motivator. A 300⬠Lego set motivates more than giving them a 1000⬠cash bonus, probably because they have the cash already and for which ever reason don't go out out to buy a box of Lego.
Magnus Nilson, Oslo, Norway
I asked for a diamond heart necklace.
I got a Moped ....... ?whaaat.
Then there was the year I asked for a (choice of) bracelet/perfume/nightgowns .......
I got a shortwave radio.......... whaaat?\
I forget what I asked for the year I got an electric knife. I had lost the will to live by then.
Eileen, Indiana, USA
One year the owner of the company I worked for gave everyone a copy of Ann Rynd Altas Shrugged.
Tami Rowan, San Jose, USA
I worked with a PA whose boss gave her a 6-pack of Polo mints to pay her back for the ones he'd cadged from her during the year. Nothing else, just the mints.
Anne, London, England
Do any of you ever buy your boss anything for Christmas?
Ken, London,
Can't really top anything here, but I'm part of a group of assistants, and the four of us were given two boxes of chocolates to share. Between us, we maybe had a quarter, while the departments we support, each time they came by, would take some chocolate.
Wonderful gift. Bad attitude.
Jonathan, Toronto, Canada
Anyone else thinking that Gabrielle-from-Barcelona's boss walked up behind her just as she was typing her comment?
Ollie, London, UK
I'm lucky because my bosses wife is lovely and always buys me expensive perfume for Christmas. I also get a big bonus and a big payrise every year at Christmas! For my birthday last year my bosses bought me a pedicure & manicure at the salon that she goes to.
In my 20 years of working I have had 7 jobs and this boss is most definately, by miles, the only one who is so generous and without a doubt is the nicest, most easygoing.
So they are out there, it's just that like good men they are hard to find!
Jackie, London,
any of you guys reckon the boss might be trying to get rid of you without paying severance? Just his way of sending you the message.
gerald, eastchester , ny
We had a boss who received several large Christmas hampers of food and booze. After the first one arrived which everyone saw he would go out to the reception to receive the others and put them straight into his car to avoid sharing them. On Christmas Eve he handed his PA a large Christmas Pudding (uncooked of course) and told her to share it out around the 12 staff... He positively glowed with pride at his seasonal generosity. Sad man.
Anne, London,
I got a small jewellery sized box one year & inside was the office key "so I wouldn't have to wait in the cold" while my boss took his own sweet time to get into work each morning!
Now retired, Northampton, UK
Okay, I believe I can top all of the above; I had a secret santa surprise. The so called rules where to spend £10 on the bequeathed name out of the hat. I recieved a 27 year children's pamphlet on how to build houses with a 15p price tag. the pamphlet was secondhand.
Uri Remon, London,
I got to the office this morning and found a Christmas card signed by me and the other two directors of the company in my in-tray. Last year I got nothing so I consider myself very lucky. Try and beat this :)
Mick, Prague, Czech Republic
My ex-boss bought our team of 4 people a massive box of chocolates. When we had recovered from the shock of this uncharacteristically thoughtful gesture and opened the box, we found that there were only 4 chocolates left. He'd eaten the rest.
Shame on you, Malcolm, shame.
Loll, London,
A friend, who is going on a holiday to India, was given a week ago a packet of adult diapers as her xmas gift from the boss.
Theo Wilms, New Plymouth, NZ,
Never had a Christmas present of my boss, but from time to time, he gives away the unsold cookies and twinkies so everybody goes home with 2 computer screen sized boxes of cookies and twinkies. I'm always so popular with the local youth in those days....
Delphine Verhaeghe, Vichte,
Well, I can't really complain. Last year I got wine and a big basket full of goodies. Which would have been nicer if I hadn't had to take the three tube lines, but whatever. And this year my boss has been v.thoughtful and has asked if I would rather have the said basket or a 100 â¬...
Gabrielle, Barcelona,
I remember one Christmas when a former colleague got a penis shaped bath sponge from the "Secret Santa" pile.
I also had a boss who used to give the ladies in the office the cheapest, nastiest bottle of sherry he could find. Needless to say we had about 10 years worth of the stuff hidden at the back of a cupboard. Another boss who was Japanese gave his secretary his laundry to do over Christmas as his wife had gone back to Japan to see her mother. Nice!
Linda, Fife,
10 chocolates each is good! Last year we got a box of chocolates (which I know was a gratitude to the bosses) given to us to share between 65 staff!!! Yes one box.
Holly, Braintree, Essex
Christmas Present - from a boss !! - how nice. I have never received anything from a boss unless they pulled my name in a Secret Santa. Our Director does know how to push the boat out though - a big box of chocolates to share between 10 people - approx. 10 sweets each...........and it is said that Christmas is a time for giving - hahaha
Tracy, London, England
Last year my boss gave me $200. I was over the moon until I found out the other girls all got between $5000 and $10,000. Since then I follow the firms travel rules whenever he travels. His wife is a snobby cow too, so I take great pleasure in knowing that they stay in the nastiest hotels I can find. He always takes the wife with him when he travels and she insists on rooms being just so (her latest request is that the rooms comply with fung shi). He has tried to push through her expenses as his too.
He can't fire me... I haven't done anything wrong. Can't wait unti January to leave though.
Name Withheld, New York, USA