Affiliative leadership can have a ring of happy-clappy softness to is – perhaps creating a picture of someone asking people to hold hands and talk about their feelings – and thus it gets some bad press. “This is a style that people struggle with,” says Lubna Haq, a consultant at Hay Group. “They see it as weakness, but it’s not. When it’s used in the right way, by taking an interest in your staff and their pastoral needs, it is very important.”

Defining characteristics. The most obvious is a desire to create rapport with and within his or her team. “The affiliative leader is concerned about the person rather than the job,” Haq says. “The primary focus is very much about creating harmony in the team so that they all like one another.”

Here’s one we prepared earlier. Witness the scene in Master and Commander when Russell Crowe as Captain Jack Aubrey visits a young midshipman who has had his arm blown off. “The captain goes to see him because he cares about him as a person.”

It’s useful when... used in small doses. Most of the time this style should be a bit player rather than the star turn, but there are situations in which it may usefully play a larger part. For example, if you are leading a team of professionals who are all experts in their field you may need to spend more time making sure that they all get along and are happy than in ensuring that they do their jobs, Haq says. Think of leadership challenges where the phrase “herding cats” comes to mind – perhaps when trying to get a group of creatives or scientists to overcome individualistic leanings long enough to perform as a group. Anyone who has started a meeting with a few moments of chitchat or asked their colleagues how their weekend went has used the affiliative style.

Does more harm than good when... used in a crisis or at any time when performance issues need to be addressed (affiliative leadership does not lend itself to telling people to pull their socks up). It’s also unhelpful when used for too long when major changes are afoot; for example, a company takeover. A little bit of it can help people through the initial pain but take it too far and it will stop them from accepting that change is inevitable. Haq gives the example of a merger between corporate departments: “The person leading it... spent all his time talking with one group and then another about how they were feeling and all it did was increase the spiral of prima-donna behaviour.”

Effect if overused. Demotivation, underperformance and eventual disappearance of high performers frustrated by a lack of recognition for their efforts and a lack of performance management for the team’s slackers. “It can be very frustrating if you are in a team where you are individually going that extra step and the manager says ‘great job team’, but you know that others aren’t pulling their weight.”

What to avoid when working for an highly affiliative leader. “Don’t irritate them by refusing to play the game,” Haq says. They won’t respond well to people who criticise their supportive, friendly approach.

How to impress a highly affiliative leader. Play this one well and you should be able to use your manager’s desire to keep people onside to swing things to your advantage. Open a discussion with your boss and explain that what you really need to feel happy and satisfied at work is detailed feedback/more responsibility/the chance to be seconded to a different department – or whatever it is that you’re looking for to help you to get ahead.

Next week: the participative style

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