Is it customary in England to display one's Christmas cards hanging on strings, like poultry?

M. Singh, Ealing

It has become so, in middle-class households. It is a form of one-upmanship: see how many expensive cards I have received. I am the most popular boy/girl on the block. Etc. But let us not sneer. It adds colour to the festive season. It makes things a bit different. It may even remind visitors of the native belief that Christ was born in a stable, on behalf of all classes and conditions of men, even the English.

I am only 63 years of age, and in August this year lost my wife after 30 wonderful and happy years together. When my wife died I wore her wedding ring on the small finger of my left hand next to my wedding ring. Now that we are parted should I wear both rings next to each other on my right hand or leave them where they are on my left?

Paul Simpson, Eccles, Manchester

In the Anglican church, the wedding ring is an accidental, not an intrinsic, element of marriage. The Puritans disapproved of the wedding ring on male fingers, as an ostentatious popish practice. In sterner parts of Scotland, a man with a wedding ring is still viewed through narrowed eyes. There is an old wives' and husbands' tradition of switching the wedding ring to the right hand when a spouse dies, as a kind of semaphore code signal about one's marital status. In the general muddle of tradition, folklore and superstition, we are free to make our own rules. I should wear the rings on whichever hand suits you and feels most comfortable. Nobody can accuse you of incorrect behaviour.

My burgeoning relationship with a lady friend, who is still in her judgmental phase about my suitability, is threatened by her continual reprimands that I must not put the wine glass to my mouth during dinner until the latter is empty. Am I wrong? Should I swallow first? Or is she misguided?

Dr David Hough, Ceredigion

Bacchus or Venus? Is your gustatory pleasure worth more than potential amorous and companionable delight? This seems a petty cause for falling out. I should probably change my drinking habits in order to please your potential inamorata. But it depends a bit on the lady. Does she make a habit of trying to “improve” you? Can we put up with a Harpy's continual nagging? Is it a joke?

When the family asks for donations to charity instead of flowers at a funeral, when and to whom is it best to give the cheque?

Barbara Crossley, Buxton

The notice often names a charity recommended for cheques. It ought to. Far better than a superfluity of flowers. If it does not, send your cheque to a favourite charity of your choice. It would be Charlie and naff to hand over a cheque to any of the nearest and dearest of the dear departed one. They have other things on their minds than accountancy.

My father, aged 87, and hearing- impaired, has always been a noisy eater, slurping up food, sucking his false teeth etc. Now my husband has expressed the intention not to be at table with him again as he is appalled by the repulsive noises. What should I do?

Elizabeth Hughes, Yeovil

Hungry Heracles! We must persuade your husband to be more tolerant. Your father's pleasure will be to eat with and be part of the family. Sit him at the far end of the table, as far as possible away from your husband. Do not be embarrassed by or humiliate your father. Set everybody a good example by your cheerful tolerance and good humour. You must be the sunny matriarch.