How do I deal with an inconsiderate neighbour who, despite having his own garage where he could park his BMW, insists on using up not one but two spaces in a parking bay intended for visitors or residents without garages. I have tried writing to him, politely pointing out the problem, and verbally remonstrating with him for his selfishness — all to no avail.
J. R. Jones, Guildford

Indeed, there is always one. You have done what you can. The selfishness of petrolheads with BMWs passeth all understanding. But being a civilised human being means putting up with the selfish behaviour of one’s motorist neighbours with a sigh and a smile. You are between a hubcap and a hard kerb. But having difficulty parking is preferable to having a war with one’s neighbour. If the fool cannot be shamed into good behaviour, argument and hostility will not change him. Sod him.

Wondered if you might be able to clear up one very minor technical point about Carla Bruni’s state visit to the UK. When she and Sarkozy got off their plane, the Prince of Wales bent down to kiss her gloved hand. My father — who fancies that he knows all things etiket — said that if she’d had any class, she’d have whipped off her glove. Is it ever correct to kiss a gloved hand?
Bill Coles, Edinburgh

The traditional act of homage is to kiss hands, not the gloves. If she had seen the Prince of Wales coming, she should have taken off her glove. Hand-kissing today is an obsolescent and largely royal act of courtesy. Un petit peu pretentious for non-royals, wouldn’t you say?

What is the correct form when two friends who have been invited to dinner arrive with a bottle of wine? Should this be offered first; if and when the host’s first bottle is depleted; or kept by the host for enjoyment at a later date?
Tony Fish, Sevenoaks

At posh dinners the host will serve his own wine throughout — we seldom go to such posh dinners. It is an impertinence to arrive with a guest bott for really stately hosts, such as Her Maj or the Duke of Omnium. It could be taken to imply that their cellar is deficient. But the rest of us serve our own wine before the guest wine. The only exception may be if a generous guest arrives with a bottle of chilled fizz, whereas we have only chav cava.

With advancing years, arthritis in my hands has limited what I can do. Tying a bow tie is now impossible. If I am away from home, I allow an hour for the struggle, then give up and put on a made-up tie. What would you do? I am not proud of the appearance of my fingers, and so tend to keep my hands out of sight below the table. This used to be considered rude. Is it still?
Henry Jones, Cheltenham

I would yield to necessity, as you do, and clip on a made-up bow-tie. But I might rumple it, so that it looked a DIY tie. Certainly you may keep your hands below the table without appearing rude. But do not be ashamed of them. We are subject to the changes and decay of life.

I am a big fan of American novels and have noticed the phrase “second-guess” being used in the English language instead of “predict”. In America the more common meaning is to criticise with hindsight. What can we do about this?
Mary Harvey, Bristol

Lie back and enjoy the rolling tides of language. To second-guess is racier than to predict, and less cumbersome than to criticise with hindsight. Like many trendy clichés, it will eventually become a laughing stock and die of shame.

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