J. M., from Marylebone, asks how to cope with a spillage.

By blundering Bacchus! With quiet, calm deliberation, not flap and uproar, which just makes a mess worse. If you made the spillage yourself, mop. Do not sprinkle salt on red wine stains. This is an old wives’ tale. It will merely set the tannin stain permanently. White wine will neutralise red wine. Otherwise cold water will do. It is best to remove the cloth or your garment first. Rubbing with a cloth makes things worse and spreads the stain farther. If somebody else makes the spill, leave it to your host(ess). Do not leap up to help. Keep your head down and talk intensively about something else. PH

Peter Locke, Chippenham: “Spill not in the first instance. Do not wave arms around. If spill happens, do not flap. Apologise. Leave the mopping up to neater hands.”

Mike Moon, York: “My tendency is to start by muttering ‘oh s***’, not quite under my breath, and with all the vehemence I can muster.”

Matthew Dick, The Pavilion: “Suggest, diplomatically, that the chap in question may not be cut out for wicket-keeping after all.”

Readers are invited to send their responses to this week’s question by November 10. A selection will be printed in a fortnight.

Should children be encouraged to use formal table manners?

Isabel Lúcio, Nowheresville

Email Philip Howard with your etiquette questions

etiket@thetimes.co.uk