Isabel Lúcio, from Nowheresville, asks whether she should encourage her children to use formal table manners.

Table manners are a minor field of etiquette. Let us teach our children to handle their cutlery in the customary way of their peers. Otherwise they will be judged to be uneducated and rude. But let us not make a fetish of it. It is far more important to teach them the Golden Rule of Manners: Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. PH

D.Waite, Leicester: “Of course. Their presence at the table should always be a pleasure for everyone.”

Gillian Combes, Chichester: “Yes, children should be taught formal table manners. But they should also be warned that not everybody is so polite at the meal table. It is best to ignore such lapses from other people, however difficult this may be.”

Liz Murray, London N20: “Children should be taught good manners, basic courtesy, respect and concern for others. They should also be taught table etiquette, so they understand what is expected in their society. But they must understand that etiquette never takes precedence over good manners.”

Readers are invited to send their responses to this week’s question by November 24. A selection will be printed in a fortnight.

I like oranges. But I find them tricky to eat politely as a dessert. Any advice?

P. Henderson, Mayfair

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