Is it acceptable to wear my pullover to work, now that the nights are drawing in, and I feel the chill?

Arthur Fish, Wellingborough

Depends on the office, your colleagues, and the state and pattern of your pullover. Almost anything goes these days. When I joined The Times, the new Editor instructed me always to wear a suit and tie to the office. “You never know when you will be asked to go to Downing Street to interview the Prime Minister.” I am still waiting for the call. Not many of us are wearing neckties these days. Jeeves would frown. If your office is full of Jeeveses, try a string vest. Or, if desperate, your pullover under your shirt. In my experience, most offices, like most coaches and trains, are overheated rather than too chilly.

Must we wear the trouser belt with the buckle on the left side or the other way round (by the way, I’m a man)?

J-F Rieu, Jeevesville

Conventional fashion is for the buckle to be on the left, and the snake to the right. For gents. Can this be because the majority of men are right-handed, making it easier to haul in the slack of the belt with my right hand. The same applies to ladies, I think. My suits have buttons on the right (when the buttons have not fallen off) and buttonholes on the left. Vice versa usually for dames, though female fashion delights in being outrageous.

A close friend constantly caps any experience about which I tell her. How I can stop this increasingly vexing habit of hers?

Valerie Smith, Bridport

You could try writing to an Oracle of Etiket at a newspaper, and casually leaving the reply lying around where she can read it. Most of us are eagle-eyed at spotting the mote in our sister’s eye, but as myopic as a mole at seeing the beam in our own eye. But I think that we have to approach your problem from the other end. Some are born cappers of other people’s stories. And I do not suppose that your friend is going to change at this stage. All that we can do is to be fascinated by her stories. Look outwards not inwards. Do not vex. The only person it hurts is ourselves.

I am never satisfied with the acknowledgements to “thank you” in English. “Y’a welcome” — too American. “It’s nothing” — too Spanish. “Don’t mention it” — too awful. “My pleasure”, “that’s all right”, “any time” — not always appropriate. Can you help?

Ann Irving, Guildford

Interesting. The most common reply to “thank you” in England is “cheers”. And common it is. Indeed, Charlie. But it is not always necessary to return the shuttlecock when somebody says “thank you”. Much can be done with a self-deprecating smile. I fear that I may sometimes say “okey dokey”. The form of words does not matter as much as the warmth of your response by gesture and meaning.

How does an Englishman greet an acquaintance whom one meets in the street?

Jean de Malherbes, Geneva

An anally retentive Englishman probably shuffles sheepishly past him/her, pretending not to have noticed. It would be politer and warmer to salute one’s acquaintance. Why reject him, in a cowardly way? We need all the friends we can get on our voyage on this Ship of Fools. If we are wearing a hat or other headgear (unlikely in my case), we should raise it, or at any rate touch its rim in a capping gesture. The Englishman can mutter “How-de-doo”. Goofy Bertie Wooster says: “What ho! What ho! What ho!” G-Day? Bonjour? Gruss Gott? Chow? Hi there?

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