I work in an open-plan office which is shared by several disparate teams. What the team on the other side of my partition actually do I know not, other than that it appears to be something hilarious as their conversations are frequently punctuated by loud laughter that reverberates around the entire floorplace. I’ve tried looking daggers at them whenever a particularly noisy guffaw interrupts my train of concentration, but I am tempted to ask of them: “If there’s a joke, let’s all share it!” Can you suggest an alternative approach?
Louisa Radice, Exeter

Stunning Stentor! Lord of the loud-mouths. Red ear-plugs, as worn by tractor drivers? Wax from the chemist? To work in open-plan one has to cultivate an invisible carapace that cuts out extraneous noise. It is the job of the manager to cut out stentorian uproar that distracts others from their work. For Puck’s sake do not look daggers. You will make your neighbours laugh louder, and get yourself a reputation as a spoilsport and a prude.

You quote the correct sequence for letters following a name. One of them is “Esq”. I am sure people would be interested to learn of the rules for entitlement to the use of esquire (or Esq).
George Stoney, CorrectVille

Indeed there are rules. These are largely obsolescent. An esquire was at first “a young man of gentle birth, who, as an aspirant to knighthood, attended upon a knight, carried his shield, and rendered him other services”. It became also “a man belonging to the higher order of English gentry, ranking immediately below a knight”. Several classes of men became entitled to be called esquires — younger sons of peers, eldest sons of knights; judges, barristers-at-law, and many others. By now Esq has lost all sense of rank, and can be attached (in correspondence) to the name of any adult male. In the US, Esq is often used by lawyers, both male and female, when referring to or addressing one another in writing. The suffix is dying, let it die.

Recently when lunching as a guest of my mother-in-law at her golf club, I encountered this problem. We were aware there was a dress code but I was not aware of the specifics so I wore a dark suit and open-necked plain blue shirt. We were not questioned by the staff on entry. At the end of the meal I engaged a rather florid-looking gentleman (wearing a suit with matching tie and handkerchief) in what I thought was a friendly comment about the cheeses. The man hissed: “You should be wearing a tie!” Should I have subsequently written to the club president apologising for my faux pas or indeed acted in any other way?
Yips Redface, Leicestershire

The person who behaved badly was the florid club bore who rebuked you for being tieless. A club should be a friendly place, not a boot camp with exclusive hostile discipline directed at visitors. Clubs do attract pompous prats who make up for their insignificance in the big world by acting like dictators in their puny club world. Yes, the staff should have warned you and lent you a spare tie.

My friend has just parted from her boyfriend. Should I congratulate her on the lines of: “He wasn’t right for you”?
R.I.L., Cheltenham

Artful Aphrodite! Be careful. Love moves in mysterious ways. Who can tell whether they will get back together? Be warm and loving, but unspecific. Consolatory but not congratulatory. If you make comments of any sort on her ex, you are giving a hostage to fortune.